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How our weightloss effects our kids... Grief



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My son is having a hard time. He is 8 . While he is glad that I can do more things with him, he misses his "soft pillow mommy" . When he sees old pictures he gets really sad. Sometimes he says he does not want me to lose all of my softness and that he is scared about that. He says maybe I will look and feel to different. Does anyone have a child who is grieving the loss of their "old FAT mommy".

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Change can be stressful to us all. All I can suggest is cuddle him a BUNCH!!! and then the "new Mommy" will become the old Mommy...

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Yes,when I told,my 10 year old daughter about my surgery, she patted and rubbed my stomach and said she would miss my mushy,gushy stomach. Felt guilt like I should leave it there for her but knew I had to soldier on since I passed along my bad eating habits. I know when she sees how much more active I will become, and all the things we can do she won't remember that. I'm 4 days post op and she's been very supportive and helpful. Good luck.

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My nephew said the same thing about missing hugging the fat Yaya. It was kind of sweet, especially because he was 22 at the time! I didn't think 22-year-olds were that into hugging their fat old aunts! LOL!

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My nephew said the same thing about missing hugging the fat Yaya. It was kind of sweet, especially because he was 22 at the time! I didn't think 22-year-olds were that into hugging their fat old aunts! LOL!

That is very sweet!

My niece is 8 and has been transfixed by my transformation. Her mom and I have often been confused as identical twins - I would imagine it was quite strange to see me melt before her eyes! She ultimately really enjoyed all of it - especially my newfound interest in looking my best. Who would have thought?

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the "new Mommy" will become the old Mommy...

Art, have you learned nothing in man's struggle to understand the fairer sex.......you never say "old"...... :o

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I'm sure my kids and other miss the old me. I know with such the week i had. My little ones don't complain but my Adult one s probably miss the old me.

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My kids are astounded when they see pictures of me from 2004/2005 when I lost about 100 lbs. on the Atkins diet for in 18 months. Even so, the lowest weight I made it to was 254! They were 3 and 7 back then. Now they are 12 and almost 16 and are extremely supportive. They can't wait to see the thinner, healthier version of me again--and I will be way thinner than 254! :lol:

Edited by Scylla

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My son is turning 7 in March. Should I talk to him about the surgery? I'm sure he's noticed his Mom is fat ...

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My son is turning 7 in March. Should I talk to him about the surgery? I'm sure he's noticed his Mom is fat ...

I tried to give my 17 year old daughter the barest of facts and she researched, YouTube'd, watched My 600 Pound Life... Then told me she'd researched herself. She was proud of my decision and not to let what anyone's says bother me. (In a nutshell)

So I'm gonna say go with your heart on this one. I feel like I should've offered more info to my daughter and spoke to her about it more, but she's 17. Personally, if I had a 7 yr old I wouldn't go into too much detail because I wouldn't want to scare them, but I'd probably tell him that things were gonna be different. That we were going to be changing what we do and how we eat in order to stay healthy. And probably leave it at that. I know others go into greater detail but I'm not one to do that with a really young child.

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Yea I agree my son is pretty bright so he will notice a difference and ask questions. I need to tell him something so he doesn't ask me In public about my weight loss

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    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

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        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

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