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Gaunt and an Amazon, really!



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Sounds like you have a place (in her mind) and you are getting out of place. I am surprised that she would actually call you an Amazon. ..that's just not very nice. I dont think most people mean ill will when they tell us to stop losing, so I just let that roll. Maybe she is just tactless?

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Sounds like you have a place (in her mind) and you are getting out of place. I am surprised that she would actually call you an Amazon. ..that's just not very nice. I dont think most people mean ill will when they tell us to stop losing, so I just let that roll. Maybe she is just tactless?

Your right..that was an understatement...she does not mind saying what is on her mind..But she has been really supportive up until now.....that's okay I really wondered how long she could hold out before she found fault with me and my WLS.....

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Some people just never seem to amaze me

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Some people just never seem to amaze me

You know..when you think you have it covered it comes out of the blue and your taken back!!!!! I don't know, maybe that is a protection for both of us...Because afterwards you always think of the right and hardest hitting things to say....I have found in life that retaliation does not work!!!!!!!!

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I always hated when people would say things like "she's just saying that because she is jealous" But in situations like this and reactions I've encountered from my closest friend when telling her I had decieded to get the sleeve, I'm starting to think it's true. Aren't friends suppose to be supportive? I really can't believe she said that to you, as if you were suffering from anorexia or something (although with that, she probably wouldn't have said anything because for some reason no one ever talks about that with people)

I am preparing myself for the loss of friends and the push back from family members that I have yet to tell. Sometimes I feel like I'm 16 and pregnant and need to hide this until it's over. I am just thankful to have a more than supportive partner to come home to.

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You know..when you think you have it covered it comes out of the blue and your taken back!!!!! I don't know, maybe that is a protection for both of us...Because afterwards you always think of the right and hardest hitting things to say....I have found in life that retaliation does not work!!!!!!!!

It was supposed to say cease not seem... but you're absolutely right. I have learned that for whatever reason wls is or weight in general is fair game and no holds barred. You can't say anything about race, or sexual orientation without being completely demonized but people can say anything they damn want about your weight with no repercussions whatsoever.

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I always hated when people would say things like "she's just saying that because she is jealous" But in situations like this and reactions I've encountered from my closest friend when telling her I had decieded to get the sleeve, I'm starting to think it's true. Aren't friends suppose to be supportive? I really can't believe she said that to you, as if you were suffering from anorexia or something (although with that, she probably wouldn't have said anything because for some reason no one ever talks about that with people)

I am preparing myself for the loss of friends and the push back from family members that I have yet to tell. Sometimes I feel like I'm 16 and pregnant and need to hide this until it's over. I am just thankful to have a more than supportive partner to come home to.

It breaks your heart to watch what happens...I have lost almost all my friends..not because of comments made but because of what they didn't do when I was hospitalized for 5 months from complications with the sleeve....They showed me that they were not supportive at all....i dumped them all....Now my last one is trying but I knew eventually it would get difficult for her to handle it..she never ever saw me thin...I was fat when we met and she liked my personality..I made her laugh...One day she is supportive the next she says something that I don't understand..But she is like this with everything in life..negative..It is part of her, who she is..

Today she called and told me she has a pair of Pj's for me that she bought that are wayyyyyyyy to big for her and since I am only a size or 2 behind her they should fit me fine.....I just said why do you say wayyyyy to big like that..She said oh I'm sorry...I think she is funny and not funny at the same time.....Today I could get upset about the wayyy to big comment but if I let it effect me..I will have 0 friends left.....this sucks the big one!!!!!!!!!!

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You know..when you think you have it covered it comes out of the blue and your taken back!!!!! I don't know, maybe that is a protection for both of us...Because afterwards you always think of the right and hardest hitting things to say....I have found in life that retaliation does not work!!!!!!!!

It was supposed to say cease not seem... but you're absolutely right. I have learned that for whatever reason wls is or weight in general is fair game and no holds barred. You can't say anything about race, or sexual orientation without being completely demonized but people can say anything they damn want about your weight with no repercussions whatsoever.

Yup!!!!! And they do!!!!!!!!!! I have had it both ways..Really abused for being obese ( I hate that word ) and now on the opposite place..not totally there yet but enough to scare people...Neither has been a picnic so far!!!!!!!!

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Today she called and told me she has a pair of Pj's for me that she bought that are wayyyyyyyy to big for her and since I am only a size or 2 behind her they should fit me fine.....

Oh puhleeze, are you kidding me??

Passive aggressive, condescending. Nice try!! :lol:

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It is so sad to hear/see how friends and family members react to our loss... fortunately, mine have been supportive on all fronts; but I have not lost it all ...YET... and my sister had a full gastric about 10 years ago... I hope the best for all of you that were affected this way and hope you find someone that is supportive and understanding...maybe another sleever :) ... love going out to all ! <3

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It is so sad to hear/see how friends and family members react to our loss... fortunately, mine have been supportive on all fronts; but I have not lost it all ...YET... and my sister had a full gastric about 10 years ago... I hope the best for all of you that were affected this way and hope you find someone that is supportive and understanding...maybe another sleever :) ... love going out to all ! <3

I think your sister must have paved the way for you..who knows what she went through......but I do have my brother and his wife, my hubby and my daughter who is my biggest supporter......but it seems to be family who are, and I get caught out there alone in the world when they are not around...It sucks but it is the way it is!

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It breaks your heart to watch what happens...I have lost almost all my friends..not because of comments made but because of what they didn't do when I was hospitalized for 5 months from complications with the sleeve....They showed me that they were not supportive at all....i dumped them all....Now my last one is trying but I knew eventually it would get difficult for her to handle it..she never ever saw me thin...I was fat when we met and she liked my personality..I made her laugh...One day she is supportive the next she says something that I don't understand..But she is like this with everything in life..negative..It is part of her, who she is.. Today she called and told me she has a pair of Pj's for me that she bought that are wayyyyyyyy to big for her and since I am only a size or 2 behind her they should fit me fine.....I just said why do you say wayyyyy to big like that..She said oh I'm sorry...I think she is funny and not funny at the same time.....Today I could get upset about the wayyy to big comment but if I let it effect me..I will have 0 friends left.....this sucks the big one!!!!!!!!!!

I totally feel you because when I haven't seen my mother in a while she will call me and ask "what size are you now because I have some clothes that fits me tooooo big and I wanted to see if they fit you" or she will make comments like maybe your small then me and clothes won't fit you since your always losing weight! So I just tell her that I DONT KNOW WHAT SIZE I AM!!! But it drives me crazy that someone who need to love me no matter what size I am she's always worry about what size we are! About two years ago I lost like 30 pounds but of course I gain them back and more but anyways my sister in law told me one day after I lost the 30 pounds "you better not lose any more weight or you will be my friend-enemy" I'm not telling anybody about my surgery EVER!!! They know I always exercise and I try to eat healthy but I could never lose the weight and I'm sure I will be the topic of there conversation for a loooooong time! I can't wait!!!! ????

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It breaks your heart to watch what happens...I have lost almost all my friends..not because of comments made but because of what they didn't do when I was hospitalized for 5 months from complications with the sleeve....They showed me that they were not supportive at all....i dumped them all....Now my last one is trying but I knew eventually it would get difficult for her to handle it..she never ever saw me thin...I was fat when we met and she liked my personality..I made her laugh...One day she is supportive the next she says something that I don't understand..But she is like this with everything in life..negative..It is part of her, who she is.. Today she called and told me she has a pair of Pj's for me that she bought that are wayyyyyyyy to big for her and since I am only a size or 2 behind her they should fit me fine.....I just said why do you say wayyyyy to big like that..She said oh I'm sorry...I think she is funny and not funny at the same time.....Today I could get upset about the wayyy to big comment but if I let it effect me..I will have 0 friends left.....this sucks the big one!!!!!!!!!!

I totally feel you because when I haven't seen my mother in a while she will call me and ask "what size are you now because I have some clothes that fits me tooooo big and I wanted to see if they fit you" or she will make comments like maybe your small then me and clothes won't fit you since your always losing weight! So I just tell her that I DONT KNOW WHAT SIZE I AM!!! But it drives me crazy that someone who need to love me no matter what size I am she's always worry about what size we are! About two years ago I lost like 30 pounds but of course I gain them back and more but anyways my sister in law told me one day after I lost the 30 pounds "you better not lose any more weight or you will be my friend-enemy" I'm not telling anybody about my surgery EVER!!! They know I always exercise and I try to eat healthy but I could never lose the weight and I'm sure I will be the topic of there conversation for a loooooong time! I can't wait!!!!

That is the reason why most people don't even know I had WLS...Tongues will start to flap and I know it won't be isn't it great...She looks so much better now that she has lost weight..Nope don't want to be fauder for dinner conversation....I know I have changed completely. but I do not feel that anyone knows how much work it is to lose weight and deal with everything that we are dealing with....Unless you are WLS patient and you have at least some of the same journey....

Sure has been a different trip then I thought it would be that is for sure!!!!!!!!!

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Terrible! Sounds like she is getting nervous you may look better and be healthier than she! Sad excuse for a friend! I have a friend who worked so very hard to get her 79lbs off "the hard way" and scoffed at my 35 lb loss so far as "well it's not as tho you lost it in a healthy way" blah! I'm slowly learning this year(and not even due to my surgery bc I only told a handful of people) that I only have room in my life for truly GOOD people, the rest need to go! Not in a harsh way but I'm moving on with or without them! I hope you dear sweet friend do the same! All I've read from you over the last many months shows you are a wonderfully kind and strong woman who deserves support not belittling! Hugs!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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