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Gaunt and an Amazon, really!

RJ'S/beginning

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RJ'S/beginning    5,358

RJ'S/beginning
Posted

Yesterday it finally happened..My friend who has been a real supporter to me told me that I need to stop losing weight...I am getting too small...I asked what size clothes she wore and she said a 6-8 depending on the make...I said well I am a 14-16 and she said yes but your a Amazon and looking gaunt...

I said really..I thought Amazons were fit and over 6 feet tall..she said your an Amazon to me....Okay then...She said it doesn't seem to matter your not taking care of yourself and if you don't stop you'll be back in the hospital again....

Wow...never saw that coming....Oh and she added that plastics would take care of the rest of the weight....She is just concerned and worried about me.............

Sure you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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soocalchic    1,087

soocalchic
Posted

Yesterday it finally happened..My friend who has been a real supporter to me told me that I need to stop losing weight...I am getting too small...I asked what size clothes she wore and she said a 6-8 depending on the make...I said well I am a 14-16 and she said yes but your a Amazon and looking gaunt... I said really..I thought Amazons were fit and over 6 feet tall..she said your an Amazon to me....Okay then...She said it doesn't seem to matter your not taking care of yourself and if you don't stop you'll be back in the hospital again.... Wow...never saw that coming....Oh and she added that plastics would take care of the rest of the weight....She is just concerned and worried about me............. Sure you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no need for enemies with friends like that WOW.. Give her the cold shoulder she'll come around..

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Indigo1991    1,612

Indigo1991
Posted

RJ

That took my breath away! A friend? Think what bothered me most was her saying that you aren't taking care of yourself. After what you've been through, if you had been careless with your health, you wouldn't be here!!!!

You know the drill for future - smile sweetly and thank her for her "concern" and remind her you are under medical supervision who know what they are doing and who will tell you if you go too far!

Then I'd ask her how she's doing since she's looking a bit tired and peaky since you last saw her.... ;-)

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RJ'S/beginning    5,358

RJ'S/beginning
Posted

RJ

That took my breath away! A friend? Think what bothered me most was her saying that you aren't taking care of yourself. After what you've been through, if you had been careless with your health, you wouldn't be here!!!!

You know the drill for future - smile sweetly and thank her for her "concern" and remind her you are under medical supervision who know what they are doing and who will tell you if you go too far!

Then I'd ask her how she's doing since she's looking a bit tired and peaky since you last saw her.... ;-)

She fell off her roof on the weekend and I think she is in so much pain that she lashed out....I don't care really..She is just one of many that have spoken out about my looks now or everything else that I do ( wrong ) according to them....

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McButterpants    2,846

McButterpants
Posted

Don't you wish you could join her "Perfect Club"? Not!!!!!!

Fell off her roof - karma????? Maybe next time Mrs. Buttinsky has an opinion she'll fall down a well. (Just kidding of course)

Hope you're doing well, sweetie!

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R@VEN    27

R@VEN
Posted

I'm so sorry she hurt your feelings. I'm sad for her also because it looks like she may have list a good friend. I just had my bypass last week but I had a lapband four three years that was placed wrong and couldn't get a fill but anyway, I found that I was constantly on display and had friends making remarks that were hurtful. I had a conversation with someone yesterday that was headed that way so I was ready this time. I want to keep our friendship so I told her we all have different journeys but still end with the same destination. I know the situation is different but maybe evaluate what her friendship means to you. If you want to save it, explain that you were hurt and how it made you feel. If she continues to be hurtful know this. Well maybe the friendship means more to you than it does to her.

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RJ'S/beginning    5,358

RJ'S/beginning
Posted

Wow, if you have friends like that, I'd hate to meet one of your enemies.

Yes I think you would hate to meet the friends I thought I had.........this has been a real learning experience for me...A painful one to boot!!!!!!!!!!

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RJ'S/beginning    5,358

RJ'S/beginning
Posted

Don't you wish you could join her "Perfect Club"? Not!!!!!!

Fell off her roof - karma????? Maybe next time Mrs. Buttinsky has an opinion she'll fall down a well. (Just kidding of course)

Hope you're doing well, sweetie!

Your too funny.....she is closer to me then i am to her...she fears so much that I will end up back in the hospital and I would die......She should fear that I might break her nose instead...LOL

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BigGirlPanties    957

BigGirlPanties
Posted

Some people don't know what to say or how to handle our "change"... and she could, genuinely, be concerned about you; but just doesn't know how to convey it in a proper manner... that said, I agree ... if her friendship is important (as most are), speak to her and let her know that what she said was hurtful...if she continues; then you know what you have to do...

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RXG    46

RXG
Posted

It sounds like she's just really dependent on you and scared that she might lose you. The problem is that she's not educated about the surgery or why you've set your goals where you have. It's also not good that she can look at you and tell you to stop losing, but if she gained to your current weight, she'd been fighting mad to get back to her current size. :rolleyes:

I say don't dump her, just chalk it up to her accident, love for you and a huge amount of selfishness.

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RJ'S/beginning    5,358

RJ'S/beginning
Posted

Or maybe she is afraid her "fat friend" will soon pass her in the "looks" department..

Don't see that happening.....I never looked like Barbie, she did...lol

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jdmama911    224

jdmama911
Posted

I am only 1/2 way to my goal, but I've gotten this in the past few weeks "Oh you look so good, I really need to start losing weight or you're going to pass me soon." I mean, I've heard it probably 5 times in the past 2 weeks. I seriously want to rip their throats out when I hear that. My sister has even lost 35lbs. since she saw me at Thanksgiving (Plexus). (I got within 25 lbs. of her, and that hasn't happened since we were kids..she was always the thin one.)

For now, Im giving my friends a by. But, if I notice more catty behavior as the weight comes off, I may have to cut ties. I hope your friend just slipped up, but that is insane to me she said that to you when she is that much smaller than you. And to call you an Amazon? Wow. To make the comment she thinks you'll end up in the hospital again? Wow. :(

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RJ'S/beginning    5,358

RJ'S/beginning
Posted

I am only 1/2 way to my goal, but I've gotten this in the past few weeks "Oh you look so good, I really need to start losing weight or you're going to pass me soon." I mean, I've heard it probably 5 times in the past 2 weeks. I seriously want to rip their throats out when I hear that. My sister has even lost 35lbs. since she saw me at Thanksgiving (Plexus). (I got within 25 lbs. of her, and that hasn't happened since we were kids..she was always the thin one.)

For now, Im giving my friends a by. But, if I notice more catty behavior as the weight comes off, I may have to cut ties. I hope your friend just slipped up, but that is insane to me she said that to you when she is that much smaller than you. And to call you an Amazon? Wow. To make the comment she thinks you'll end up in the hospital again? Wow. :(

That's just mean....my sister is like that too..She was always happy that I weighed more then her...she does not know about my WLS...But she does know I got sick and so I lost some weight...She just doesn't know how much...My hubby says he will have to set himself in position to catch her when she sees me for the first time in 7 years...Or he said maybe he won't catch her...I have no idea what that means...tongue in cheek!!!!!!!!!

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Go To Topic Listing Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums

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    • LeighaTR

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      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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        Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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