Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Have any issues telling men about your surgery?



Recommended Posts

Feel like my decision to go through with this was a big personal decision. I haven't had any issues telling my friends that are girls but I have trouble telling the guys. Idk if it's because is think they'll take it the wrong way or idk. Have you guys had the same struggles? Also, I've been dating a few guys pre-op, and I lied and said I was getting my gall bladder out, which I know lying is wrong, but I'm going to be losing weight fast now and I'll need to tell these guys the truth. Help!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a very private person so I really didn't want anyone to know unless it was necessary. I don't blame you for not telling, it's no ones business really.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't told anyone. It is no ones business about your personal medical history. This does not affect their health in any way. Just do what feels comfortable to you, there is no right or wrong.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ive told a few people but no males in my life i lost weight bf surgery they knew i was losing so um gonna keep it like that it seem time u tell oeopke they start to ask ? All the time and i fill stressed

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was single when I had my surgery, I started dating about 3 months post op, about 100 lbs down at the time. I didn't tell any of the guys I had gone out with during this time, until I met my current boyfriend. We were talking over coffee and I felt comfortable enough with him to just tell him about it. and we've been together for three months now.

My point is, tell them if you are comfortable with them, and if you want the relationship to continue, otherwise they get all head up about 'oh my god you're losing so much weight so fast are you anorexic?! I never see you eat." Like my boyfriend's friend's have been doing until I told them. Lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My mom had surgery a year ago and is 100lbs lighter and didn't want anyone to know, on Christmas Eve I had my surgeon consultation and am ready to get started on my journey but I'm not all that worried about people finding out, I've been a fat guy my whole life and everyone's seen the yo-yo ing. The way I see it would be pretty hard to believe that at 41 I all of a sudden got my act together. I was also one of those guys that said I 'll NEVER have surgery, I'm fine with the way I am, it's funny how a new daughter can change your attitude, and if I can do it than anyone can and I'm now hoping that a couple of my friends will see me doing it and will now at least consider their options. Sorry for crashing the powder room.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not planning on telling many people. I am very private about that stuff. I wouldn't have a problem telling a half truth, i.e. having a hernia fixed.

Is there any reason you would have to tell him your having anything done? If you aren't available for a week or two could you get away with just not feeling well as a reason for missing?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't be afraid to talk about it!! Its part of the healing process, think of all the people you have the chance to enlighten?! You have nothing to hide, be proud of making a decision to better your health! Besides, when you tell them and they react negatively...... you don't want them in your life anyway!! Surround yourself with positive people, with the right guy, it wont matter about the surgery. He will love you for you! Not to mention, where are you going to hide the stretched out skin?? ....tuck it in your socks?!?!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Batcap Ty for giving a guys perspective!! Very much appreciated !! If we girls are searching for a guy, we do need to know what you actually are thinking!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×