Problem with Nosy Co-Worker! Need Advice!

[PdxMan 4,292]

Here's the thing about why I also give the advice I give. I have found that people who have this approach (your co-worker) actually DO have an issue with whatever it is they are inquiring about.

I saw this from my friend after I went to rehab for alcoholism.

"Why did you go there? You really didn't drink that much."

"Couldn't you just drink less or just drink less often?"

I basically had to cut ties with all of them for my own sobriety as they were not healthy for me. I later found out from another acquaintance it was their own demons related to alcohol/drugs which prompted their attitudes. By dealing with my issues, it forced them to take a look at theirs, which they didn't like.

I see this with members of my family. My mother constantly asks me about my portion sizes. "There is just no way you can survive on that much", but then later admits that sometimes she just can't stop eating something she likes. When she sees someone taking control of their eating habits, she realizes how little control she has over her own. Your co-worker may be experiencing the same. It could be she has even bigger issues with food. We just don't know, but turning these questions back to her may do more good than just getting her to stop with her pursuit. You may be helping her in ways you just don't realize.

[Memily 86]

She may be jealous OR she may be worried about you, making sure you don't have a disorder. I don't know the lady so I can make that determination. I also decided not to tell the people I work with. When people ask me I say I am doing high Protein, good choices, and Portion Control. If they pressure me more or comment on the amount of food I am eating I explain to them that I am closely in touch with a dietitian so I know what I am consuming is safe along with my visits to the gym, weight loss is all about calories in vs. calories burned. Or you could just tell her to mind her own business.......LOL. I feel like what you are describing is EXTREMELY rude and overbearing.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Does this person struggle with their weight?

I would say something like

"Weight loss is simple, take in less calories than you burn, over an extended period of time. I've found a way to make a sustainable lifestyle out of that and I'm happy to share ideas with you. But you are being rude and I do not enjoy the constant badgering. Please change your tone or I will have to let my boss know you're making me uncomfortable, and I don't want to do that."

This, or tell her to blow it out of her ass and that if she doesn't stop harassing you, you are going to make a formal complaint against her to HR.

[Kindle 8,667]

Respond to her question with outrageous lies. Exaggerate huge amounts of food you ate when you got home..... You are taking laxatives.... You want to lose enough weight to shop in the children's department.... I'm training for MMA and this is the diet they have me on. If you give her crazy stupid answers maybe she'll stop asking because she won't get a straight answer anyways.

I was very careful about who I told about my surgery, (I thought) but unfortunately one person blabbed to her mother-in-law. I didn't even know she knew when she came up to me last weekend and asked why would I go to Mexico for surgery. I looked right at her and said "well that's where I always went for my abortions, so why not?". Boy, did she ever shut up. Haven't heard from her since

[LouiseC 1,031]

Tell her your are on the new "anorexia diet" It's all the rage, I mean look at those skinny b*****s! http://www.pro-thinspo.com/the50dayanorexicdiet.html

Wow. I had a serious WTF? Moment on opening that link. Frightening..

To the OP, usually I am a huge advocate for telling the truth about the surgery. However, this coworker of yours sounds so rude and revolting that I would recommend following the path PDX man proposes. You are saying nothing about you and turning it all back on her.

Then if she still persists, hit her with anorexia diet!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Two words:

Human

Resources

This woman actually IS harassing you. She is making the workplace an uncomfortable place for you to be.

Put down in writing (half a page) the kinds of questions this woman has been asking you and for how long and how frequently she has done this. Put dates down.

Then schedule a meeting with the HEAD of Human Resources in your company / firm. Or the boss. Tell them to make sure this woman leaves you the hell alone.

You don't have to put up with this.

[Nadora 0]

She's just jealous ...bottom line. Ignore her and focus on yourself. I encounter the same nosy people. I just give them a look and they know better than to ask me again.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I love all the answers..but really she will continue to do it because like other limited emotional understanding people she needs fauder for unimportant conversations she has in life...

I like the smile and look her straight in the eye suggestion I got the other day from one of these helpful WLS folks on here...Me from now on..There is no replies just me looking at them as if they just shit themselves and then when they become uncomfortable...And look away out of uncomfortableness...( Is that even a word!!!)...I will walk away..This should work..Personally I look forward to trying it as soon as the opportunity presents itself again.....

[DeezJeanz 1,065]

Awesome suggestions! Just to chime in, u say u don't like making people feel bad but yet ur a person and ur allowing her to make u feel bad and that's not fair to u. You've more than answered her, so enuffs enuffs. Without being rude but firm, look at her w a slight one sided grin and just say, I've answered you more than once about this and now its time for US to move on. Make it about the both of u, its a deflection tactic in disguise...this is OUR workplace and let US keep it that way. If I c u in the gym, we can discuss gym and health matters but this is difficult enuff for me to try and do, as most diets are, and I don't want to have to constantly think about it everywhere I go. Then say, U do understand right? Say thanks Then YOU politely walk off:) Then like the other person suggests, write down specifics of her harassment, and if it doesn't stop, talk to HR bc u will know that u did all u cud to give her a chance to stop. Ur not friends anyways so reporting her shouldnt be an issue once uve TOLD HER AND ASKED HER DOES SHE UNDERSTAND! It's like a child, are we there yet, are we there yet, and until ur there, it won't stop. So now, you have to get there! Gl:)

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

Everyone's responses have been really good. I too like to keep all of my medical stuff private and don't feel I have to share with coworkers what I am doing to make my life healthier. No has the right to invade your personal space or ask personal questions. Being the person I am (blame it on God) I would turn it around on her. Start asking personal questions about her sex life, how often and with who, where, when and how... she will get the message soon enough. Where do these people get off thinking they have access to our personal life???? It never ceases to amaze me. Good luck and let us know how you put her in her place. (and take pics if you knock her out. hee hee)

[newat52 1,613]

I'm sorry you are experiencing that kind of treatment. I don't know why people think it is ok to ask such personal questions.

For me personally, I don't feel obligated to answer every question posed to me. When people ask me how much I've lost, I say "a bunch." Or they ask me what I am doing to lose it, I say " I'm working really hard." After that, my good graces are gone and the next question is received with "Wow! You sure are asking al lot of personal questions." Usually, they will stammer something to the tune of well, I was just curious. My response is "yes, I can see that." At which point I turn and walk away. I have never had to do this with someone twice.

I try to keep things polite with people but after it is established that politeness is only flowing one way, it will continue until you make it change.

[lauri407 29]

• VSGAnn2014 and others got it right when suggesting you talk to Human Resources. I'm dreading this exact situation happening to me after my surgery with one particular coworker who doesn't know/understand what is appropriate and what is not. It has to be hard as you're asking for her to help you in your job by making copies, but honestly, can you avoid her? I'd tell her that I don't want to discuss it anymore. If she brought it up again i'd go to HR.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

I would be so DONE with this woman. Next time she asks anything change the subject to did I see you last night going into that ale house on main street with a bald guy? (name a sleazy bar).

[livvsmum 2,370]

You guys are awesome! Thank you so much for your responses. I definitely will not continue to be pressured by her . Not sure exactly what I'll do next time, but you definitely gave me a lot to consider!

[gmanbat 5,889]

All of the preceding advice is good, this is not.

She started with, "what did you eat exactly yesterday??"

You: "A knuckle sandwich, saved one for you"