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Lonely Former Fatty



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Hey Everyone!

My name is Nicky, I was sleeved 3.11.13. I've lost more than 200+ pounds. It's so weird...someone called me thin to my face! I'm like are you sure?! Me?! Another person described me to my co worker as "the skinny guy". I'm so not used to this.

What I have realized, is that I look totally different, I can now FEEL how lonely I've been for so long. I'm not talking about sex or hooking up, just a friend to get coffee, see a movie, or just chit chat. I joined an online dating site. I knew I wasn't ready for dating. I just want friendship. I'm in Chicago and would like to meet people locally or otherwise. Any ideas?

Good luck to all of you,

Nicky AKA poohbear1019

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Several years ago my daughter wanted to increase her circle of friends ..she looked around for a new church that would inspire her. She did find one.. She has met wonderful people at her church. She had two small kids..she then joined a mothers group..she still has friends form a group she joined 7 years ago. She also joined Christian mingle ..met a really nice guy..and is now dating him for almost a year. So what i am saying look at clubs, a gym, church groups, activity groups that meets for exercise such as hing, jogging, walking etc. it will not happen overnight. Give it time to form meaningful friendships. It will happen if u put time and effort. Good luck. Ps just my little suggestions :)

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Ps.. Congrats on your tremendous success. You deserve a standing ovation.

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Hi Poohbear, I agree with Carlotta, the way to meet people is to put yourself out there and join a group. If church isn't your thing you could think about taking some adult enrichment classes at a local college in an area you have an interest like art, photography,music or just anything. You will learn something new and meet new people in the process. You are not alone in your feelings and you would be surprised to find out just how many adults are wanting to expand their social circle. If you like animals, think about volunteering at an animal shelter. You won't meet anybody sitting at home in front of the television so get out there and do something and interact with people. Good luck and congratulations on your weight loss. Janet

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Do you have a lambda center? I'm a Cali girl or I would hang out with you

:0) I love going to the mall shopping or to the movies. My gf haaates it.

Lol

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I agree with what everyone else has said. Do what you love. Take classes, join a church, join the Y or a gym, volunteer, join or start a group (book, movie, sports, whatever). There should be a million things available to do in Chicago.

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Just chiming in with the chorus. Do something social. Church, book club, hobby clubs are all great ways to meet friends.

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Meetups.com is a great place to expand your circle and meet folks with similar interests without it being a "dating site".

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Congratulations on all your success Nicky! And good luck on this next stage! There is some great advice here and I am sure you will find your way.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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