Wls....a Bad Name!

[chasingadream 1,311]

I've chosen not to tell people about my WLS...only my immediate family knows and 4 friends total. I've had many people recently comment and compliment me on my weight loss so far. Usually, I say thanks and keep on going. But there are always those people who ask "what are you doing". And I stumble a bit to answer. Sometimes I just want to say I had WLS...but then I think....sometimes when I say those words "weight loss surgery" I feel like it negates all my hard work over the past 2 1/2 months since being banded.

Its kind of like when you say WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY...you had surgery and now your weight is and will be fixed! It makes it sound so "simple"...that all the hard work and dedication, and all the rules to follow won't matter to anyone. They will say "oh she needed that surgery to lose her weight".

I'm not sure if this is making any sense...just something I have been thinking more about since people are now noticing and commenting on the 55 lbs I have lost. My attitude/mood has changed and I'm dressing differently and even finding 5 mins in the morning to apply some makeup. I feel so much better physically and emotionally and am more confident in myself and I just feel good about ME!

So, I often hold back and dont say anything about having WLS when they ask. I tell them high Protein and smaller portions and that is it. Sometimes, I feel embarrassed/ashamed that I got to the point in my life where I had to "resort" to surgery. I'm glad I did this and I regret not a minute of it...EVER! These are just some feelings I've been sorting through....

But I think maybe a better name would be ....IMPROVEMENT SURGERY!!

[lanagirl 65]

I totally agree with you weight loss surgery alone is a tool not a trick. It doesn't magically fix anything and along with diet and exercise you have to keep learning how you react and eat after a fill. Good luck I am 16 months into my journey and have lost 97 pounds, 30 to goal and maintenance.

[gowalking 10,790]

I know exactly what you mean! I am often embarrassed that I had to resort to surgery to lose the weight. Just last week, I was at the pain management doctor for shots in my back. There must have been something under or in the table that allowed the doctor to see my insides in order to determine exactly where to inject the cortisone because I heard him pointing out my port to his new assistant. I was so embarrassed to hear him give away my 'secret'.

Now, don't get me wrong....no one who does know about the band says anything to me about taking the easy way out. I'm getting nothing but positive feedback. Doesn't mean I still don't think as you say....'she couldn't just walk away from the table. Nooooo...she needed to resort to surgery'. I hear that in my head all the time.

I'm also finding that I am so appalled at how heavy I was. I needed to lose 100 pounds to look normal. 100 pounds! I can't believe I was that out of control. I'm starting therapy next week to discuss some of these issues with a professional. I know that lots of folks on this forum do this and I think good for them...and good for me for recognizing I need to do this as well.

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

It makes me embarrassed too. But I know I couldn't have lost weight on my own because I had tried everything and I would lose weight but I would gain it back - nutrisystem, weight watchers, pills, weight loss shakes, cabbage Soup diet, grapefruit diet, cleanses - lol and everything in between !!! Lol

I also needed to lose close to 100 pounds and it makes me embarrassed that I got myself that big. But I am losing weight now and have taken control of my life and trying to win this battle. But to be honest it's whatever works for the individual and it doesn't really matter if you get healthy via wls or the old fashioned way, just as long as you get there!!!

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

​I don't like sharing the fact about the Band either. It is a tool and you find on this site that a lot people have failed their tool. I am very embarrassed about how much I weighed and how much more I want to lose. This site and my husband are the only people that know my weight and lose.

I know I have to accept a compliment and say thank you and move on with the another subject.

Everyone I hope you are watching and enjoying The Sound of Music, because I am.

Arlene

[gowalking 10,790]

well...sounds like it's not just chasing and myself who feel the same way. not surprising, that's for sure. we all have weight issues in common so why wouldn't we have similar thoughts about ourselves. again...that's why I like this site. it lets me know that I'm so not alone.

[MandaMom23 684]

I can totally relate, and often feel the same way. I too find myself feeling guilty for telling people I'm losing weight by watching my portion sizes, track all my calories and Protein, and no longer drink soda...and not mentioning the band. But, like my husband reminds me, that IS why I'm losing weight. That little plastic band doesn't stop me from making poor food choices. It may tell me to slow down, or that I've had enough, but even then *I* have to choose to listen to it. It's truly a TOOL just like any other weightloss method...counting weight watcher points, having nutrisystem meals delievered to our door, even joining a gym. Only difference is we can't just take our bands (or any other WLS) off as we please, or because we get annoyed with it! It's always there with us! I really wish others could see WLS as a tool, and not as a quick, easy fix.

[intelirish 714]

most days I can't decided if I'm embarrassed or proud that I had weight loss surgery I have shared with a number of people that I had it.. mostly the females in my life.. and then others I choose to say I just changed the way I live and diet.. I was at a retirement party yesterday where there was food every where but I chose to behave and brought my Protein shake with me and happily sat and talked while I sipped on that. constantly being asked WHAT your not eating?

I told so many stories that I've lost track of what I told to whom.. I don't know what came over me I didn't feel that it was the right setting to truly share what I had done with people the party was not about me but then. back at my desk a coworker who knows came to ask advise and to learn about my experience as she is hoping her son who at 21 is over weight is considering having the lapband also. I was flattered that she would ask for my advise and experience. she is hoping to get her son to talk to me also as he is very shy but is intent on losing weight and very interested in the lapband..

I guess what i'm getting at.. why the hell.... should we be embarrassed? YOU ME ALL of us are taking control of our lives and making it better not just for us but for every one in our life's. I mean when people quit smoking the wear their Patches with pride... why should it be different for us food, drugs, smoking alcohol it's all addictive.. so no more lying.. if they ask they will get the truth - if they want to think less of me for it.. so be it how will it affect me? honestly NOT AT ALL I will continue to get healthy and slimmer so what they think really doesn't matter.... be strong no matter your choice the only one that matters is you..

Edited December 6, 2013 by intelirish

[hiddnstar 167]

When I was first banded 3.5 years ago, I was very private about it. Only my closest friends and my family knew. I gradually shared with some people at work, especially those who had the same surgery with the same surgeon (we only have 1 in our town). Now I'm a lot more open about it and very matter of fact.

It's everyone's personal choice of who, when, and what to share. If you decide to answer someone's question of how you've lost weight but don't really want to share as openly as they may want, my suggestion is that you smile and proudly state you decided to intervene on your own behalf and are using everything you know to use including diet, exercise, medical support, and making a basic change in how you relate to food.

I have sometimes been appalled at how many people genuinely think MY weight is THEIR business.

It is intensely personal for me. The people I wanted to know about my surgery, knew.

I guess I kind of take it on a case by case basis; some people really are interested and curious and supportive -- you can sense it. I may or may not share with them about the surgery---but I DO share with them that it's taken a lot of work and commitment and I'm really excited to finally see the results!!!

It's one way to engage with someone who's asking. Go with your excitement; talk about the new clothes you're looking forward to wearing and ask them where the best sales are. Get them all caught up in moving forward and off the question of "how are you doing it?"

You can also say things like, "what is working for me these days is......(fill in the blank).

And then there are a few who ask their questions tainted with judgement.

I've rarely had anyone be actually rude and persistent, but when it's happened I've just answered a different question. Instead of answering their question of how am I losing so much weight, I say "YES! I've lost quite a bit and have more to lose. Thank you for noticing!" They might repeat their question of "how" and I'll answer with "it's been a long, hard road but really paying off now!" You really don't have to answer any question you don't want to answer.

I don't see anything shameful about having the surgery. It seems shame plays a big part in a lot of lives, especially those of us who appear different from everyone else because of our size.

I've come to the conclusion that feeling ashamed of myself for any reason is a waste of my time.

I think we all know the courage and sacrifice involved in the decision and follow thru of surgery. We all recognized the dire health situation we had ended up in and we took direct and drastic steps to correct it. We struggle each and every day on our way to success. Having a weight issue is not something we can hide from others. It's all out in the open for other people to judge, accept, reject...to do whatever the heck they want (and a lot of that has been hurtful, whether or not it was meant to be).

But somehow, I really believe that when others are judgmental of our weight or of how we decide to deal with our health issue--it really has to do with what is going on inside of THEM and is really all about THEM. At least I don't have to deal with what's going on in their head 24 hours a day like they do! When they're not judging someone else, guess who they are judging! Themselves!

I think it is commendable that each of us is working hard and creatively to get healthy!

For that, we deserve nothing less than praise and support.

It is sad to run across people who, for whatever reason known only to them, are blind to the true situation and prefer to be critical of us and to remain distant. Don't take on their issues

hiddn

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

I a one who doesn't care , cause I didn't like the way I looked and with my weight being up & down I knew I had to get help somehow.

As I said I didn't and still don't care what anyone thought I am me and my Personality is the same and my face is the same I am one who never changes so I always look the same , however my weight bothered me and when I wasn't moving real good or getting sick all the time I knew , it is nice when someone notices though and I do let them know I practily brag about it, and then I inform them why or the people that know me don't ask and some will so that is what I choose and if they want to know more I tell them to ask their doctor, so they can get educated, and people see me eat or ask me out and we have a great time eating talking and sharing food, that I don't or can't eat .

[B-52 7,113]

I have also told no one, except those immediately close to me....

When people ask me how did I do it, I simply say I do not eat nearly as much as I used to, I focus on high Protein foods, and shakes - smoothies, I have given up many types of foods that I will never eat again, I drink plenty of Water, exercise regularly - daily, ...and yes, I am under the care of a Dr. for my weight loss...

All of which is 100% absolutely true...the secret is I could not have done any of those things without WLS, but I don't mention that.

Th best part is, that now that I have finished all my weight loss for quite a while now, people have started to accept the new me and no longer ask me those questions...it's old news......and new people I meet never knew me when I was Obese....

It's even hard for me to remember what I once was....been there, done that, it's old news.......

Edited December 6, 2013 by B-52

[Shazam 517]

I have also told no one, except those immediately close to me.... When people ask me how did I do it, I simply say I do not eat nearly as much as I used to, I focus on high Protein foods, and shakes - smoothies, I have given up many types of foods that I will never eat again, I drink plenty of Water, exercise regularly - daily, ...and yes, I am under the care of a Dr. for my weight loss... All of which is 100% absolutely true...the secret is I could not have done any of those things without WLS, but I don't mention that. Th best part is, that now that I have finished all my weight loss for quite a while now, people have started to accept the new me and no longer ask me those questions...it's old news......and new people I meet never knew me when I was Obese.... It's even hard for me to remember what I once was....been there, done that, it's old news.......

You put this perfect, at least for me. I feel the exact same regarding WLS. There are those individuals who keep asking, what I did. I tell them everything except the WLS, and they still question. I also, don't want to be reminded as to who I was. I want to focus on who I have become.

[lanagirl 65]

I really don't feel ashamed for having to have WLS, I am a private person and don't need anyones opinion on my chose. Also I look at my band as a treatment. I had an addiction and I got treatment for it. That simple, I got help! Hope this helps some of y'all that feel bad about your WLS, you just got help!!!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

oh yeah...EASY way out

liquids in and liquids out......yeah that was FUN FUN FUN
esp at work and i know the bathroom is 54 steps one way away

i recall us driving back from the base...guess whom didnt make it....(me if you dont know)

oh yeah, those after surgery shots in my belly (for blood clots) where it looked likethe green bay packers tackled me in the end zone....on my entire stomach area for about a month.

lets not forget the itching, the shoulder pain, the sore after surgery..and nothing but liquids for 4 1/2 weeks. (to this day i havent had Soup or broth for 17+ months)

yes it was easy.....

and to those who say (we took the easy way out)

maybe to you but who is getting healthy and who isnt?

seems the ones who run their mouth as sitting their fat as*ses on the couch as we are passing them.....

great post (caught the dream) aka chasing the dream.......as always

Edited December 6, 2013 by ☠carolinagirl☠

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

let me add.......id do it all again tomorrow if i had to....