Three weeks ago today I was sitting in the hospital admitting area thinking to myself, “You can walk out of here right now and you’ll only be out $500.” I was terrified – terrified of the surgery, terrified of the recovery from the surgery, terrified of the future, terrified of my life post-op; I could go on and on. I was outright scared.

Today, three weeks later, I’m at peace. I haven’t second-guessed my decision to have this surgery (it wouldn’t do me any good anyway). I’m at peace with my new tiny tummy. I try to make sure to drink/sip slowly and take tiny bites that I chew, chew and chew some more. I consider myself fortunate – I haven’t had any complications, I haven’t had nausea, no incision pain, etc. I have had an uneventful recovery – I get tired easily, that’s about it.

I’m still on a pureed diet for the next week, then at weeks 5 and 6, I move to soft foods. I am really looking forward to having a Carb Balance whole-wheat tortilla for some reason! I’ve been eating a lot of pureed chicken salad (whiz up some canned chicken and add a little mayo and mustard in the food processor), a lot of fat free refried Beans (top with melted cheddar and add some salsa and Greek yogurt), and last night I had some pureed Wendy’s chili (it’s not as bad as it sounds). Breakfast usually consists of a scrambled egg and a Jimmy Dean turkey sausage patty (I can eat about ½ of each). I’m eating about ¼ cup of food at a time and I have to drink three shakes. It’s exhausting sometimes, calculating what time I have to stop drinking Water in order to have a shake or meal. I’m eating/drinking between 600 and 800 calories per day. I am amazed at how little food I need to fill me up; sometimes I simply lose interest in eating, so I stop. I downloaded an app for my phone called Eat Slower. You tell it how often you want to take a bite and your phone will make a sound or vibrate when it’s time. I set mine at 1 minute. When it dings, you take a bite. Pavlov’s dog, anyone?

I’m trying to walk at least two miles every day. Now that there is about 8 inches of snow on the ground, I have to move inside to the gym. I’m only allowed to walk on the treadmill, which is tedious, but I’m moving and that’s what counts. I’m looking forward to the release to the elliptical and maybe even some light weight lifting.

One thing I am frustrated with is coffee – I’ve written before how much I love coffee, real coffee, not decaf. So, I have one cup of decaf coffee per day and it takes me about an hour to drink an 8-ounce cup. I really miss coffee with my breakfast – it was one of my vices pre-op and I really do miss it. Let me clarify - I miss drinking it like I used to drink it.

Some other things I’m working on:

· I am still trying to figure out the signals my body is sending. Is it true hunger I’m feeling? Am I full?

· I am trying to figure out my meal/shake planning and how to get in 80 grams of Protein.

· I found that stopping drinking 40 minutes before eating and 40 minutes after works better for me (rather than 30 minutes).

· I am doing the December Fitness Challenge on VST – Walking 50 miles this month.

· I am working on some ideas for meals that are sleeve friendly and family friendly. My husband and son aren’t particularly fussy; I would just like to keep things as “normal” as possible. It’s hard being on puree right now, but they are doing OK.

· I am working on keeping my emotions in check, not being so volatile…yeah, we’ll see about that.

Today was weigh in day...I'm down a total of 34 pounds total with 16 pounds since surgery. I'll take it!

I really like this. A very comprehensive post! I miss coffee also! I miss it not because I haven't had it (I try a cup now and then), but because, since surgery, IT DOESNT TASTE RIGHT! I've heard that tastes change, but my coffee?? Why????

"Lose interest in eating?" Wow, I can't wait until I can feel that way !

Thanks for keeping us posted!

I'm starting my 4th week out today I have started my Purees as of today I have been drinking one cup of caffeinated coffee every morning I cleared it with my doctor you should call and since you're doing so well asking nutritionist or your doctor and he might approve it it's really a great start to the morning glad you're doing so well with your new sleeve!!!

I really like this. A very comprehensive post! I miss coffee also! I miss it not because I haven't had it (I try a cup now and then), but because, since surgery, IT DOESNT TASTE RIGHT! I've heard that tastes change, but my coffee?? Why????

First - congrats on your weight loss! Well done!

It's weird how your tastes change after surgery - I can't stomach plain Water for some reason and that's all I drank before surgery. The berry flavored propel tastes like it has finger nail polish remover in it. Weird.

As for coffee - the sugar free syrups don't taste right in it, so I've been having it with some Coconut Creamer and no sweetener. It actually tastes good, but it takes so long to drink. I use a Contigo insulated cup as a thermos. It's crazy that it takes an hour to drink a cup of coffee. I think it's like anything else - just keep trying to figure it out!

I'm also allowed to drink coffee (I stumbled across this info in my post-op packet about 2 weeks out.) I keep it to one a day, and I also feel like it tastes a little different. But it's one of those soothing habits and it gives me a little warmth while I wait for the thyroid medication to kick in. I'd ask…it can't hurt.

I can't do caffeine at least until the end of December.

And it's more than the caff vs. decaff...it's my enjoyment of coffee that I'm missing. Sitting down at Starbucks with a carmel macchiato and reading the paper or having a piping hot cup of joe with breakfast. Or grabbing a cup when I go into a meeting.

At any rate, I will continue down my path with my decaf in an insulated cup sip, sip, sipping away.

Congratulations on your amazing surgery results Mcbutter. I am sooooooooooo relieved that things are well for you..Coffee, your body has detoxed itself and you may find you will need a new favorite or not...you know the sleeve changes so much and it will take you time hun like everyone else to get it all figured out and then when you think you do...why you will be surprised that you have just figured another thing out...

I know you have followed a lot on here and was better prepared then a lot of us...but it is a whole new game eh when you are living it.....

I am so completely happy that you are doing so well and I wish you continued ease with your journey....fantastic!!!!!!

Thanks for this post. When you write about being scared, it sounds like I could be writing this. I feel the same way, with a somewhat comforting thought in the back of my mind telling me that I still have a chance to back out within the next 12 days. A few months ago I was like "LETS DO THIS" but the closer time comes, I can't help thinking that I may somehow be screwing myself up for life. It's not fear of the way of eating or lifestyle change, hell I can handle that. I'm just weirded out about the whole stomach removal thing. On the other hand when I can't fit into clothes, or I have joint pain, or I can't buckle an airplane seatbelt, or I have to unzip my pants to bend and tie my shoes - I know I have to do this because I can't keep weight off on my own

But I really wanted to reply to this because I will seriously MISS MY COFFEE too. Just like you how miss it! Just hanging out casually enjoying a nice cup here or there. And that first nice hot cup in the morning that gets the business going (if ya know what I mean haha). I don't drink a lot of coffee but I thoroughly enjoy it when I do. I've slowly tried to wean off so it won't be so bad come post-op. But that one cup in the morning.... it's going to be so hard, more difficult than sticking to the rest of the program!

Congratulations on your amazing surgery results Mcbutter. I am sooooooooooo relieved that things are well for you..Coffee, your body has detoxed itself and you may find you will need a new favorite or not...you know the sleeve changes so much and it will take you time hun like everyone else to get it all figured out and then when you think you do...why you will be surprised that you have just figured another thing out...

I know you have followed a lot on here and was better prepared then a lot of us...but it is a whole new game eh when you are living it.....

I am so completely happy that you are doing so well and I wish you continued ease with your journey....fantastic!!!!!!

Thanks, RJ. It means a lot! You know I have great admiration for you and your journey's ups and downs.

I hit a stall last week - I'm "only" down 1.8 pounds from last Thursday. And while I knew this was going to happen and I've preached to others that it's all part of the process, it really stinks. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and trying to not let it get to me, but man, it's hard. My husband said, "I'm glad you only lost 1.8 pounds last week, you were losing too fast." I hadn't even discussed with him the three week stall. When I explained it to him he was like, "See that's what I'm talking about. Your body needs to figure out what's going on." My rational brain says that's true and I agree...it just hit my a spirit a little bit.

But, I'm brushing myself off...I'm heading over to the gym in about 30 minutes (letting the car warm up - it's -15 degrees here today). I'm going to turn the music on loud and get in a good walk on the treadmill.

Thanks again for your posting - I really do enjoy your perspective on things!!!! I hope you are well.

I agree with your dear hubby..Your body will protect itself against starvation....by shutting down the lose factor and store food in your cells until it decides that you are still feeding it and then it will let go of the fat...Isn't the body amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!

Be happy those times because your body is working properly and you are in good health then....You have forever to lose this weight..remember a life long journey...I am so glad you have a man in your life that helps you " keep it real" thank god for that.....

I appreciate you to girl!

Thanks for this post. When you write about being scared, it sounds like I could be writing this. I feel the same way, with a somewhat comforting thought in the back of my mind telling me that I still have a chance to back out within the next 12 days. A few months ago I was like "LETS DO THIS" but the closer time comes, I can't help thinking that I may somehow be screwing myself up for life. It's not fear of the way of eating or lifestyle change, hell I can handle that. I'm just weirded out about the whole stomach removal thing. On the other hand when I can't fit into clothes, or I have joint pain, or I can't buckle an airplane seatbelt, or I have to unzip my pants to bend and tie my shoes - I know I have to do this because I can't keep weight off on my own

But I really wanted to reply to this because I will seriously MISS MY coffee too. Just like you how miss it! Just hanging out casually enjoying a nice cup here or there. And that first nice hot cup in the morning that gets the business going (if ya know what I mean haha). I don't drink a lot of coffee but I thoroughly enjoy it when I do. I've slowly tried to wean off so it won't be so bad come post-op. But that one cup in the morning.... it's going to be so hard, more difficult than sticking to the rest of the program!

Oh boy, if I had a dollar for every time I thought, "Oh my god, what am I doing to my body!" I'd be rich. I even went so far in one moment of weakness to sit down and write down the pro's and con's to the surgery. Of course, I knew them in my brain, but seeing them written down helped me. My dear mother is obese and has been her adult life - I can see down the path and I will be just like her if I didn't do something about it and I wasn't doing it on my own. My primary care doctor said in order for me to lose weight I would have to restrict and exercise to a point that isn't sustainable over a long period of time. So that was my answer - I wasn't going to do it on my own, I needed help. I was pretty sure I wanted the band, but realized there are too many issues with it - the sleeve was the way to go for me.

You will know what to do - you will feel it in your heart. I know that this was the right decision for me. You will, too. Just listen to your inner voice - it's almost always right!

I wish you good luck. You're less than two weeks away from your date!!!! It's exciting and scary, I know.

Take good care.