Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

The Link Between Happiness And Weight - Psychology And Physiology



Recommended Posts

What is interesting to me is that I had many life changes in the same general time frame. I was not happier, but i think I had more day to day meaning when my kiddos needed me, when I thought my sig other needed me. I had a dying sister that needed me. I had a sick mother who needed me and when she passed, her husband with no family of his own needed me. i had a more important career job where I at least felt needed (probably false, but it is how i felt)

Now, nobody really needs me and i sometimes feel like there is less purpose, less responsibliity and certainly more fun. That is not necessarily all a good thing, BUT it isn't all weight related, some of it is other life circumstances. Well, and I am kinda enjoying the more fun part!

I do think I am finding what my new life looks like, why it is it's intrinsic value and contribution, but goes way beyond my weight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What is interesting to me is that I had many life changes in the same general time frame. I was not happier, but i think I had more day to day meaning when my kiddos needed me, when I thought my sig other needed me. I had a dying sister that needed me. I had a sick mother who needed me and when she passed, her husband with no family of his own needed me. i had a more important career job where I at least felt needed (probably false, but it is how i felt) Now, nobody really needs me and i sometimes feel like there is less purpose, less responsibliity and certainly more fun. That is not necessarily all a good thing, BUT it isn't all weight related, some of it is other life circumstances. Well, and I am kinda enjoying the more fun part! I do think I am finding what my new life looks like, why it is it's intrinsic value and contribution, but goes way beyond my weight.

This part I can understand well. I had my son when I was only 23 so I've been a mother forever. He needed me, then my husband did, younger one came along etc and it's been a large part of how I see myself. Work too is a large part of my self-definition and purpose.

I do sometimes wonder how I would have found meaning, and in what other way I would have found purpose if I had not had children. Of course people do it all the time, but I've not done that in so long, it would be akin to defining a new life and a new me when that time comes.

And yes I do think purpose grounds us like nothing else can. Have any of you read "the meaning of life?" Written by psychologist after being in a concentration camp about how people find the will to go on. And to paraphrase him, he said something like, as long as there is a WHY for living, people will find some kind of HOW to continue living.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And yes I do think purpose grounds us like nothing else can. Have any of you read "the meaning of life?" Written by psychologist after being in a concentration camp about how people find the will to go on. And to paraphrase him, he said something like, as long as there is a WHY for living, people will find some kind of HOW to continue living.

I love, love, love that book…if you mean "Man's Search For Meaning?" Viktor Frankl?

What is it they say about great minds??? I almost referenced Frankl in my last post, as I also love Man's Search For Meaning. His story is incredibly moving, and his experience was the foundation of Existential Therapy, which he developed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't have kids. I have found meaning in my family, work, my faith, social justice, and music. I agree that our lives need purpose. I also think that often when we are obese, it detracts from the value we get from the rest of our lives. It is an ever-present "yeah but". "I'm successful but I'm still fat." "I provide for my family but I'm a failure with my weight". And on and on. And sometimes the obesity gives us a scapegoat to blame all our problems on. If we "fix" it quickly, such as with bariatric surgery, it can be quite shocking when our lives don't turn into a perfect fairy tale.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a friend who is coming off of benzodiazepine addiction (all prescribed through her doctors) and we just were talking about how the only constant is that most people eventually have some really difficult, insurmountable shitted to surmount. In her case, everything came kind of ridiculously easy to her until this happened.

Don't know if difficulties (in the best case scenario) become meaning, or a reason to hang on. But it is interesting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×