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To Tell Or Not To Tell?



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When did everyone tell there friends and family about there decision to have WLS. What type of reactions did everyone get.

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I did choose to tell my close friends and family about a week preop. My reactions were all positive.

I haven't regretted it, but hear often on here that some people do have regrets..... mother-n-law, sister-n-law, co-worker, etc that is always looking over their shoulder to see how they are progressing.

Just remember, you can't UN-ring a bell......

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My mom obviously knew, my siblings found out when I came home. I sent a picture to my then boyfriend, and my two best friends found out when I couldn't stop holding my stomach while laughing. And that's all that needed to know. Because of the reactions I get at work from people having seen my weight loss progress I wouldn't dare tell anyone there. The amount of watching my intake would increase even more -_-

I told my roommate because she'd likely wonder why my eating habits are so weird. I haven't told my now boyfriend, with ms I think I've dumped enough on him for a few months time, and extended family knows. I'm not the proudest that I had to end up having the procedure, I guess, so it's not something I like to broadcast.

Overall though, I haven't received any negative reactions to my face anyway.

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I told my parents because they needed to give me a ride. I told no one else. But my parents told many dozens of people..... :unsure:

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I have been very selective about who I have told and I'm so glad for that, it's my journey...so I decide to only share with a few... But so true you can't unring a bell. I read of horrible reaction from those people others thought would be supportive. What ever your choice " it's your journey"

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I told some people that are very close to me. I never told cousins or my husband's sister and her husband because I hate them. Also when people ask how much I lost, I never share that. This site and my husband are the only people that know. Yes, I have a problem with what people would think and say about how fat I still am and how huge I really was. My 2 sons don't know and I am very close to them. Do what you are comfortable with, only.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving and holiday season.

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At first I didn't tell people except family and then as I started losing weight and people I know that have been struggling with their weight I started to tell I didn't want them to think that I was doing this just all by myself that I had a little help

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I only told my husband, 2 of my children and my best friends X2. But 6 months out one of the girls I worked with told me she had gastric bypass and by the way, she is doing very well. I casually mentioned that I had lapband. Since then, I have not kept it a secret and I haven't received any negative response. I still don't regret keeping it hush hush for the 1st 3 months due to peoples tendency to judge. Especially if you work with a bunch of women like I do.

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I was planning to kind of keep my surgery on the DL for a bit... I have lovely, well meaning in laws who love to tell horror stories about WLS and I also knew that if they knew, my a*s would be under close scrutiny.

Well, they all know... My husband has a big mouth. :/ Still haven't told anyone on my side. It's easier to keep it quiet from them as there is more geographical distance.

I do not need, "So, how much weight HAVE you lost?" In stereo. :P

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My wife and I had surgery on the same day so we never kept our Lapbands a secret.

Told my co workers and now anyone who ask.

Even after 6 years still proud of my decision to have the Lapband.

Why not share!

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I'm a private person and only wanted a few people to know -- spouse (a blabber mouth so I had to drill him in the need for secrecy), a handful of very close friends. There are a couple I wish I hadn't told. I didn't want to tell my parents as they are elderly and my mother has been obsessed with my weight loss -- she's handed me every diet book on the market for twenty+ years. It turned out I had a hernia repair when band was installed so we ended up telling my parents and others that's what was up, and why, by the way, I have to eat very small meals.

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Thanks everyone for the responses. I have only told my parents and my in laws. My mother in law actually asked me about how the process was going tonight at dinner and I had a chance to talk to her more about it and also asked her to keep this private until I was ready. She completely understood. As I get further into this process I am realizing that there is more to this journey than just weight loss. Again thanks for all of the support.

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I only told those that are closest to me, my husband, parents, siblings, and my very best friend. I'm a very private person in general, and don't share much about my personal life anyway.

However, I did learn that my kids are hearing everything I say! Last weekend I went shopping with my sister in law, and I decided I would tell her about the band. She was like "yeah, I've known for awhile. Your daughter told me you don't drink soda anymore because you have a band on your stomach now!" OY! haha Now, I can't help but wonder how many other people my daughter shared that with??

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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