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Devastating News Today And I Didn't Turn To Food

donna12

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donna12    742

donna12
Posted

For the past 2 yrs my brother has been battling colon cancer, for a few months he was in remission until a few wks ago when he had a PET scan done and they found a tumor behind his belly button. They started aggressive chemo which made him very sick and of course unable to work. Well today, today starts out with a call from my mom's sister to let us know that she gets a call from her dr to let her know that her biopsy came back as colon cancer then the dreaded call from my brother came later after he had another scan today. His tumor has gotten bigger instead of shrinking. Dr's don't want to operate at this time, not sure why, don't know if I'm being guarded as the little sister and not being told or if they really don't know. He was referred to another hospital in Nashville to a specialist to start a different kind of chemo that takes 8 to 10 hrs of chemo at a time. I literally don't know how much more his body can hold up, he is already worn out and weak and sick. For the first time in my life I didn't turn to food, I didn't want to eat today. Honestly I don't know how my mom is holding up thru all this worry. Of course many of you know we live together since my divorce so I'm here to keep her company.

I just feel like dr's are just trying to prolong his life and there is no hope, I hate to say that but it coming back in a different place is not good. We are a strong Christian family and the power of prayer is strong and mighty. Thanks for listening.

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Bandista    7,466

Bandista
Posted

Dear Donna, my thoughts are with you and your family. Being able to stay present, even when that is an emotionally devastating place, and not use food as an escape, is something you should be very proud of. Don't forget to take extra special care of yourself during this time.

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☠carolinagirl☠    18,722

☠carolinagirl☠
Posted

sorry to read this...my thoughts to you and your family

i do know in times if extreme stress/situations, turning to food was an option..it just made me feel better briefly and then id get mad at myself for having no control...donna, you may not be able to control some things, but you just proved/showed yourself that yes you can control what you can/cant eat.....hang in there

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Maddy1    55

Maddy1
Posted

So sorry to hear your terrible news. You are being very strong. May God hold your family extra close........

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Debbie3sons    1,936

Debbie3sons
Posted

You have learned through this journey of what to not and what to do I am sorry that your family is not doing well but remember you are finally taking care of you as we do forget to take time and care for ourselves cause we want to take care of everybody else first , , it is great to hear though that you did not turn to what we know is our real comfort (food) so it is good just keep yourself busy and you won't be thinking of food just make sure to get your drinks and Protein and do what is good for you, and your family.

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dawalsh    919

dawalsh
Posted

So sorry to hear of your situation. Thoughts and prayers are being sent to you and your family. Godspeed to your brother:-)

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gowalking    10,790

gowalking
Posted

So sorry to hear of your troubles Donna. Just know that there are many in this community and on this forum who are thinking of you and your family and wishing you all the best.

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MistyfortheMountain    119

MistyfortheMountain
Posted

So sorry to hear of your families troubles. Sending prayers your way.

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chasingadream    1,311

chasingadream
Posted

Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Good job on hanging tough and not turning to the one thing that can sabotage all of your hard work.

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donna12    742

donna12
Posted

thank you all so very much for your hearfelt prayers and well wishes. I am at a plateau right now and have been for 2 to 3 months now. Went out with a very dear fellow band friend tonight for dinner, it was good to get out and talk and get away, she is special to our family and to be able to talk about our bands was helpful too and our daily struggles with it. Lord knows I've had mine, whew. lol. I did treat myself to some ice cream at Chick fil A after we ate, had been months since I had had ice cream, boy was it good. You guys are like family too, you care so much.

I live an hour and half away from my brother and its so hard for all of us to get together. With him starting this new chemo treatments that lasts all day I'm sure he will not be up to traveling our way so it will be up to mom and I to travel to south Nashville. I hope to make this Christmas a very special one with him. He means the world to me, he is such a joker and makes people laugh even now, with all this going on, he will say it is what it is and life must go on, live life everyone. He has a good attitude and stays positive and has the most wonderful wife a guy could ask for. She works full time and 99% of the time he is up sick during the night and she stays up with him and then goes on to work, I certainly don't know how she keeps up but she will tell you, she loves him. I couldn't ask for a better sister n law to take care of him like she does.

I will share this before I shut up, 2 weeks ago they vacationed in Destin Fla. When my brother called the woman with the condo for rates and avail, she asked if he was flexible and he told her he had cancer and on his good week (when he felt good) that would be the week they would need to come and she replied I tell ya what, you guys come ahead and stay in my condo for free for the week, enjoy yourselves, relax, enjoy the beach, seafood, get your mind off of your sickness and refresh and my brother said to her I didn't tell you that to get a free week and she said I know, I just feel compelled to do this for you. They enjoyed 8 days in Destin to say the least and thanks to the kindness of this random woman that owned a condo. wow...there are still good people in this world.

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cjackie391    11

cjackie391
Posted

Praying for you and your family! I lost my sister 3 years ago on October 27 in a tragic car accident just after finding out she had stage 4 pancreatic cancer:( my heart ache for you and your family

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donna12    742

donna12
Posted

Praying for you and your family! I lost my sister 3 years ago on October 27 in a tragic car accident just after finding out she had stage 4 pancreatic cancer:( my heart ache for you and your family

Praying for you and your family! I lost my sister 3 years ago on October 27 in a tragic car accident just after finding out she had stage 4 pancreatic cancer:( my heart ache for you and your family

Thank you so much, my heart aches for you as well.

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SandyM    1,956

SandyM
Posted

You and your family are in my prayers.

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Go To Topic Listing POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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