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crying like a baby no support at all



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Have any of ya.. feel so depressed to the point that cant hold no more the tears?? this sadness is terrible. . I had surgery on Sept 26 and I cant just stop thinking about eating normal food.. I have 5 kids and a husband so I have to cook everyday.. and this is killing me :( I have try my best but Is just to hard.. I have been praying to God for help.. because I dont got support from nobody.. my kids are to young to understand what Im going trougth.. and my partner just dont care at all.. like he could see me sad and crying and wont even say a word to me :(... I need strength ..

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I'm sorry to hear your in such a low spot! Can you reach out to your surgery center to see about joining a support group or a buddy in your area? Or talking to a therepist? You need to get some help, remember why you did this in the first place. What are you eating? Are you getting in any exercise each day, tell us more about you and your situation so others can jump in with sugguestions. Take Care!

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Sorry to hear that your partner is not supportive of you at all..do you have any bypass support groups in your area or maybe look for a TOPS group, those are usually full of wonderful people.

Having to cook for your family is something a lot of people face, are you making healthy meals that you can eat too? Since your kids are young this is a great time to instill some healthy eating habits. There are so many yummy recipes online for bypass patients that your family will love and you wont feel like your missing out!

Best of luck:)

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Have any of ya.. feel so depressed to the point that cant hold no more the tears?? this sadness is terrible. . I had surgery on Sept 26 and I cant just stop thinking about eating normal food.. I have 5 kids and a husband so I have to cook everyday.. and this is killing me <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':(' /> I have try my best but Is just to hard.. I have been praying to God for help.. because I dont got support from nobody.. my kids are to young to understand what Im going trougth.. and my partner just dont care at all.. like he could see me sad and crying and wont even say a word to me <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':(' />... I need strength ..

I have good and bad news!

Good news: you are 100% normal and everyone goes through this stage. I cried rivers during the first month.

As we lose weight our bodies are releasing hormones. Those hormones can cause all the emotions of a puberty! It does get better!

Bad news: It may get a little worse before it gets better. Your first few months can be torture for your brain. It wants things so badly. Since you are a mom think of your brain as a two year old. It wants food so bad and it will throw tantrums to get what it wants. However your stomach will dictate what you can and can not eat. This is all normal!!!

As far as your partner not being supportive. Communication is the key in this process. Please sit down and talk to him. Tell him what you need. Explain to him your feelings, fears, anxieties and so on.

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Always remember, those of us that have gone through this, we are here to support you. You are not alone, please reach out. Someone will respond.

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Oh my gosh, your post broke my heart! I wish I could reach through the computer & give you a hug! I am lucky my husband was &still is supportive, & my children are grown & are my biggest cheerleaders. All I can tell you is to keep praying &posting on here both will get you through. As far as the food goes, you have to look at it in a different way, not the stuff that could comfort you like nothing or no one else could, that's what got us all into the place we are in now. Food is there to nourish our bodies, give us fuel to get through the day & keep us healthy,it's been. 9 months since my surgery & I've lost 120lbs! I still have another 100 to go & am at a total stand still. Anyway this is about you every day is a battle & a choice just take it one day or meal at a time, think of what you'll be able to do with your children, riding bikes, chasing them trough the leaves in the fall, pushing them on the swings. All things I missed doing because I was 396lb when my kids were small , I missed all their events at school ( couldn't fit into the seats), sporting events I was to embarrassed, I was starting to miss some of the same stuff with my granddaughter, & she's the reason I did this & trust me when I tell you the first few months I thought I mad the biggest mistake of my life! I was miserable, puking all the time, having the runs, food didn't even taste the same, but somewhere down the line it changed, now it was the best , just last weekend my granddaughter wanted me to go shopping with her before I would of made an excuse,but now I was as out the door in 10minutes& had a great time. I hope something in here helped. If you need to talk I'm always here take care & be strong. Peace, Mary

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This is common. You used to find comfort in your food and your family bonding over it. Now there is a disconnect. It happens a lot.

Your partner needs to help you. But he might not know how. Talk to him. I would also recommend therapy probably someone who specializes in addiction disorders.

Things get better.

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Thanks everyone I really aprecciate your support.. ya words make me feel a lot better.. ill take the advices.. and have try talking to my partner but he just dont care.. so I dont keep wasting my time with him because it makes m feel worst.. but thanks again everyone :)

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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