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Hi Everyone! I'm scheduled for my banding on April 3rd. I have lots of questions that I stil haven't found answers for. I've been reading about how my relationship with food will change. Giving up certain foods for good, eating much smaller portions, not going to restuarants? Is this true of most of you? I'm not afraid of the surgery, but I want to be very prepared for the post-opt period. Any advice will be taken seriously. :omg:

The quantity of food definitely changes. You can't eat big portions. You will have to order good foods from the menu but take them home. YOu also have to be careful with your food selection as to not PB. I can do Pasta for example but only 1/2 of cup. I can do bread but then it ruins my meal. That is what you have to watch out for. Good luck.

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I love to cook, I truly, truly love it. Though I usually only cook when we are up at a house we have farther up in the state (Michigan) because it has a big kitchen with lots of counter space and it is bright. When I'm there it is a pleasure to cook and I carefully plan my meals. For whatever reason they are made with fresher ingredients and are usually a more complicated recipe.

Faith, I envy you in many ways. I sincerely hate cooking. Probably because it is so expensive. I ruin large appliances when I cook. I'm not kidding.

Want to hear an amusing story? I swear on my band, this is a true story.

We have lived in this house for about 9 years. A couple of years ago I was trying to do really deep cleaning.

Well, you know that metal strip along the front of your oven? I was trying to scrub that strip. I was using q-tips and anything I could find to make it shine all the way to the back. Finally I tried pulling and tugging to pull as much of that little strip out as I could so I could clean the back of it with a q-tip and alcohol.

You'll understand my surprise when I pulled the whole damn thing out and a drawer came out! I landed on my butt and was totally in shock that there was a drawer in my oven! I looked at that drawer for the longest time and was totally impressed as that is *such* a good idea to put a drawer in there!

I ran around to all my other large appliances such as the Water heater, etc., looking for more drawers. I didn't find any but that doesn't mean they aren't there!

I was actually banned from a cooking forum once because they thought I was a troll making up stupid questions about cooking. Truth is, I wasn't a troll and the questions were sincere. Now THAT is just pathetic!

I once made a T-Day turkey at the last minute. I'm not much into meat and I don't typically eat turkey. But the old guy behind us does eat meat, it was Thanksgiving Eve and he had no place to go for dinner. He was too old and frail to cook the entire dinner himself so the night before the big day I went looking for a turkey.

The only one left was a FROZEN turkey.

Next day the darn thing still was frozen so I was holding it up in the shower trying to make it thaw a bit. Finally got it "mostly" thawed and tried to put it in a cooking bag. I'm here to tell you that turkeys can indeed fly regardless of what the experts claim. It went flying through the cooking bag all the way through the other end and landed on the floor. Back to the shower we went. I was standing on the edge of the tub trying to hang this turkey in the shower while my hubby was laughing at me. Suffice it to say we traded places and HE stood there giving the turkey a shower.

I finally found a recipe for a turkey. You put it breast DOWN for extra flavor.

Yeah, the lady that gave me the recipe for breast down turkeys failed to mention that when the last turkey in the grocery store is a 28# turkey, you can't do breast down. That was designed for a 12# turkey. Well, I say you can. It's tricky turning a 28# turkey over in a cooking bag (those bags come two in a pack, thankfully) the last hour of baking but it can be done.

Do you know that hard boiled eggs explode if you don't put enough Water in the pan? They sound like someone is shooting a shotgun as they blow up and dress your ceiling in egg bits.

Metal pans will start a fire when you are boiling a bone for the dog to chew on. You MUST put enough water in there.

I'll bet you didn't know that one clove of garlic is not the same as a whole garlic thing. There is no recipe on God's green earth that calls for 4 garlic things.

Ohhhh.. there is big sugar and little sugar. If you try to make frosting with 5# of big sugar it will burn out your Kitchen Aid Mixer.

Suffice it to say, I could go on and on yet people who know me STILL wonder why I used to eat at Mickey D's. Heh... and they call *me* stupid!

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OMG BB, I'm laughing my considerably huge a$$ off, here!

I agree, you sure can do a 28lber breast down, it *does* take some creativity (which you certainly seem to have), but it can be done! And it's wonderful! I'll be the old guy behind you was so grateful for your efforts he wouldnt have complained about a thing.

:welldoneclap:

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Fun thread!

I agree with Jack. I don't miss that monkey on my back. I have such a different attitude towards food i could swear they did a little brain surgery too! lol

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OMG BB, I'm laughing my considerably huge a$$ off, here!

I agree, you sure can do a 28lber breast down, it *does* take some creativity (which you certainly seem to have), but it can be done! And it's wonderful! I'll be the old guy behind you was so grateful for your efforts he wouldnt have complained about a thing.

:mad:

He didn't, he didn't complain about a thing. We gave him the rest of the turkey and he was thrilled. Had food for a month. But he wasn't overly impressed with the sides. He never said a word, but I'm pretty sure he was gagging with the rest of us. Mom died before she told me how much a "smidgon" is. I'm here to tell you that when you are making potato salad a "smidgon" is not a quarter cup of celery salt.

Had to take a ham to function once. I went to the cooking forum I was eventually banned from and asked if it isn't true that all hams come cooked. I thought they were. Turns out, mine was RAW!

They gave me extra specific directions and I followed them to a "T". Got the stupid ham done, went to put it on the counter and it went rolling off and landed on the floor. Did you know ham comes in different colors? It does!! And it broke. My ham broke. They were no longer sandwich size pieces that I could slice since I had to cut all the edges off that touched the floor so I made it into cubes and stuck toothpicks in the cubes. Didn't work very well for sandwiches but the dummies should have known better than to have ME cook a ham.

Made another turkey once and nobody told me the parts are in a bag inside the turkey. Recipe called for stuffing apples, oranges, or onions up there. I didn't know which one to use to I crammed them all up there. What a surprise to pull those out after it's done cooking to find a bag of crap. Liver crap, kidney crap, and heart crap. All raw. That was my first clue.

Did you know there is a difference between instant oatmeal and the other kind? Yeah, I didn't.

I'm just not a cook.

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Btw, I changed ID's on that cooking forum I was banned from and merely from my questions they figured out who I am. However, now they believe me. The mod apologized for banning me and said I NEED to be reading that forum.

Go figure.

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Bubble, I love to cook and I am willing to help you as much as I can. Feel free to PM me with any questions you may have or if there is something you want to learn about let me know. I will do what I can. Cooking can be fun and relaxing. ~Mandy

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Bubble, I love to cook and I am willing to help you as much as I can. Feel free to PM me with any questions you may have or if there is something you want to learn about let me know. I will do what I can. Cooking can be fun and relaxing. ~Mandy

Thanks, Mandy. I will do that.

I currently have an eggplant that I bought but everyone thinks it is a bad idea to make eggplant chips (thin sliced, baked until crisp, spices like a potato chip).

Any clue what to do with it now?

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BubbleButt, I just read your story about T-day and garlic and etc, etc. Please don't be offended BUT you are not allowed in my kitchen...EVER, lol.

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BubbleButt, I just read your story about T-day and garlic and etc, etc. Please don't be offended BUT you are not allowed in my kitchen...EVER, lol.

Yeah, and I'll bet you think you are the first person to say that to me! I'll have you know, I've been thrown out of really GREAT kitchens!

Well, really great forums anyway.

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LOL...I bet there are many kitchens that have your pic posted with the warning: If you see this person, she is armed with a spatula and very dangerous. Back away slowly and dial 911.

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Hey, I finally learned my lesson about turkeys and last year I got the smoked kind from the grocery store.

Did you know smoked turkeys have a pinkish colors? I didn't. I thought it wasn't done yet so I cooked it until the pink went away. Of course, I served turkey Jerky on the bone last year but *I* didn't cook it! I merely finished it.

I really hate to cook.

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Thanks, Mandy. I will do that.

I currently have an eggplant that I bought but everyone thinks it is a bad idea to make eggplant chips (thin sliced, baked until crisp, spices like a potato chip).

Any clue what to do with it now?

I'm not a huge fan of eggplant but this is a good way to prepare it.

1 pound eggplant, stems and ends removed, cut into 1/4-inch thick half moons

1 cup flour

2 eggs, beaten

1 cup bread crumbs

4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon butter

2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

Salt and pepper, to taste

Dredge the eggplant in the flour and bat against hand to remove excess. Dip in the egg, turning to completely coat. Dip in the bread crumbs, coating completely.

In a 12 to 14-inch saute pan, heat the olive oil until just smoking. Add the butter and heat until it foams and subsides. Cook the eggplant in the pan, turning so that both sides are uniformly dark golden brown. Remove from the pan, season with salt and pepper and drain briefly on a plate lined with paper towels. Drizzle with the balsamic vinegar and serve immediately

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I really hate to cook.

__________________

BubbleButt, I sure wish we were neighbors, cause we could sure keep our spouses on their toes every day. They would be scared to go to work and leave us alone together for fear they would have no place to come home to after work. My hubby is glad I have no close neighbors who like to get together for coffee and cake, or anything else you have to concoct in the kitchen. He has told folks our appliances are for decoration only, non functional in hopes I will not try to turn them on. I feel so much better than I am not the only one!!!!!!MIZBOO

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