I'm pre-op , pretty confident with my body but I just can't get in the mood sometimes I feel like I've gotten to big but not always. I've noticed that when I look at my boyfriend his body isn't what I like to see , and doesn't turn me on and he claims to be on a diet but never really works out. What in the world should I do ? Does your sex drive change after surgery? What do I tell my boyfriend who clearly wants to have sex but I just can't?

Please help !

Hmm.. Maybe you're a bit preoccupied with all the other things going on in your life at the moment to really 'get into your groove'? Obviously, if your libido is low, then your outlook is going to be impacted upon. That might include how you view your partner. However, has the downturn in your lustful feelings towards him been a recent thing, or has it been bubbling for a while?

I might put it down to being a bit preoccupied.. But only you know whether this is true, or whether it is symptomatic of something deeper and more significant?

What I will say about libido and being post op; for me, it comes in waves. And generally, when i've got enough nutrition in. If I haven't eaten enough, the first thing to be knocked out is that. Consequently, my recent advice to my partner was 'if you want me feeling 'fruity' - make sure you've fed me!'

Wishing you the best of luck and hoping you find your groove again x

Hmm.. Maybe you're a bit preoccupied with all the other things going on in your life at the moment to really 'get into your groove'? Obviously' date=' if your libido is low, then your outlook is going to be impacted upon. That might include how you view your partner. However, has the downturn in your lustful feelings towards him been a recent thing, or has it been bubbling for a while?

I might put it down to being a bit preoccupied.. But only you know whether this is true, or whether it is symptomatic of something deeper and more significant?

What I will say about libido and being post op; for me, it comes in waves. And generally, when i've got enough nutrition in. If I haven't eaten enough, the first thing to be knocked out is that. Consequently, my recent advice to my partner was 'if you want me feeling 'fruity' - make sure you've fed me!'

Wishing you the best of luck and hoping you find your groove again x[/quote']

Pre-occupied is definitely one of the reasons.. between all these appointments, and being a full time college student. Also I look at it like if I'm trying to change my life to be healthy (I'm nearing 300 pounds) why can't you (he's over 300, not by much but still) . I just want him to get healthy and because a part of me isn't feeling how he looks..

Oh, honey.. this very issue has been discussed at length on this site.. Sadly, it goes back to the adage 'you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink'... If he doesn't want to, then he's not going to. Nor, really, should he have to. However and you never know.. When he sees you succeeding - he might get motivated. In the meantime, you either tell him as it is.. Or you blame it on being preoccupied with school... Either way, the truth will out sooner or later. Never easy and I don't envy you your position. x