Introduction: Fat even when I was skinny...

[Comfy_Blue 285]

Howdy,

My name's Blue and I've always felt fat even when I was skinny. Back in high school, I weighed 140lbs (I'm 5'7), but I thought I was fat because my two best friends at the time were teeny, tiny. One wore a size 00 (Extra, Extra Small) and the other a 0 (X-Small), whereas I thought I looked like a beached whale in my size 8/10.

In addition to self esteem issues, I suffered from untreated OCD most of my life which contributed to my 100lbs weight gain over the last decade.

I know the LB is not a magical cure and the hardest part is going to be retraining my brain not to reach for food as a comfort (and not to replace food with another vice like excessive drinking, gambling, shopping, etc).

I am fearful of choosing the wrong doctor and the incision getting infected and/or having some weird complication that threatens my life or possibly kills me. HOWEVER, if I continue on the path I am now, then my own body will be my executitioner.

Right now, I am in the planning phases. I've been researching online for a LB surgeon in my area so I can get in initial consultation. One of my friends had the procedure done in another state, so I'm thinking about asking who did hers.

A little non weight stuff about me -

I'm 29 years old, a classroom teacher, and the wife of an amazing man. I'm kind of artsy-fartsy and though I can't draw very well, I appreciate art and enjoy seeing it in books, museums and exihibits. I'm always reading and want to publish a novel someday soon. I listen to a varity of music (rock and roll, alternative, punk, classical, New Age, pop, etc). I watch more t.v. than I should, am a Christian who believes heavily in karma and good vibes and I like going to the movies, dinner, road trips and shopping.

[GoingforGoal 1,734]

Hi Comfy Blue and welcome to the LBT community!

I think we can all relate to your struggles in our own way. When I look back at hs years I was probably in the 140-160 range and remember wanting to lose a mere 30 lbs. That grew to a whopping 100 years by time I got the band. Looking back 30 lbs was nothing comparatively. It's all a matter of perspective ey lol. But no more looking back, just look forward.

I am an emotional/stress eater and the band has helped me tremendously with controlling that aspect of my bad habits. Even if you 'stress eat' you'll be relieved to learn you can't overindulge and that's the key.

Preop nerves are normal. Nothing wrong with being extra careful. Do your research, get referrals and have faith that you are in good hands and all will be well.

See you on the other side Good luck

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi Blue, welcome aboard! Thanks for the great post. We have similar stats except that I am 52. Congratulations on stepping up now to do all the research to make a plan for your health. For the last twenty years I have struggled with so many different weight loss plans only to find myself a bit heavier each time. My surgery is a couple of weeks from now and I'm very excited. I started researching in June and have found this site to be a great place to learn about the band. Once in a while there are posts that create a ripple of nervousness, but by now I can spot the reasons why it hasn't worked for some people -- mainly non-compliant eating over the band or having slider foods like ice cream, etc.

Some people are not able to give up their addictions. I decided to get a therapist to make sure I am in good mental shape for this change. It's been helpful to examine the various roles food has played in my life -- soothing, anchoring, prepping for something, etc. Stress-eating, tamping down anxiety, rewarding myself or just plain old over-indulging. Of course I've read so much already and done a lot of work on myself around food, body image, etc., but in tandem with getting banded I am doing it again and this time it seems simpler. I think that's because I'm finally getting some help outside of myself and my own battles with will power. I'm having a band installed and it's going to help with the appetite issues that have come along to clobber any successful food plan I've ever been on before. It's a tool that I plan to use well to finally get this weight off!

[Allieg8tor 85]

Hi and welcome!!

I'm an artsy-type too! I put one of my drawings in my introduction post when I came here.

I had the LAP-Band on Oct. 2nd, but I started weening myself into the LAP-Band diet looong before, on July 2nd. I figured the best way to settle my nerves about everything and prepare my body for the big change was to gradually make it ahead of time! If you're super nervous about stuff like that, you might want to try that, you know?

I've never been in an 8/10, but I hope I will be one day (or somewhere close.) I'm 5'8".

Ooh, what grade do you teach?

I'm a student. I'm 23, I got my Associate's degree in art, and now I'm going for my BS in History with a minor in English (and possibly a second minor?) I recently got a job as a college tutor for Biology.

I'd be happy to be your friend and explain what I've gone through from now until whenever while I'm on this journey.

Surgery was no big deal at all. Complications with the initial surgery are pretty rare I guess and the comforting thing about the LAP-Band is that everything is reversible. I was much more nervous about the surgery than I should've been I guess. The hardest part for me was coming out of anesthetic initially, and I don't really remember too much about my first day with the LAP-Band. I walked like everyone always says and I sipped a lot of stuff. I did get a bit dehydrated, which was a bit scary, but it passed in three days and I'm fine now, absolutely fine. I could contact my doctor and his team at any point I felt I needed to and that's the most comforting thing. When they do surgery, they fill your stomach with a gas then they try to remove it all later. A little bit of that gas will probably get trapped and that's honestly the worst part of this. Walking helps, but some will move to your shoulder and be really sore, and you'll definitely want a heating pad. Gas-X strips work just about instantly and solve about 85% of the problem. Keep them on hand at all times. The gas will be completely gone by two weeks, most-likely. It is literally the worst part of the process. Infection was the post-surgery problem that I was paranoid about, so be sure to keep your incisions dry. Other than that, you'll find your worry is for naught. I hope that comforts you some. The warmest of welcomes to you!

[2muchfun 8,928]

I would strongly recommend finding a surgeon/bariatric clinic near you. Going out of state could mean you would have no local support or follow-up? It's very important to have a good surgeon but half of this journey will be aftercare with a bariatric group you have a lot of confidence in.

tmf

[kll724 3,055]

I agree with tmf. I want to add that, my testimony in the the "Big Lapband Book" can be seen, I said the same thing as you. I was part of TOPS in high school but wore a 9/11 and never hit 140, but I was "fat", because others were not! I have yoyo'd all my adult life. You need a support system as tmf stated. Good luck, Karen

[Comfy_Blue 285]

Thank you so much everyone for reaching out to me. I really appreciate the support and it's only my second post! Please, if you have any advice, want to share experiences, etc, reach out to me via the forums or pm.

@TooMuchFun: I live in the DMV (DC/MD/VA) area, so out of state for us is only a 10 - 20 minute drive depending on the area. I am considering having it done in VA because in MD, my friend (who had the band 2 years ago) said you have a 1 year waiting period, whereas in VA if you're eligible you can jump right in after a psych evaluation and other prepatory mesasures.

@Karen: Sounds like we're kindred spirits in that department! What I wouldn't give to go back in time and shake myself and say"You're not fat! You're not even a little hefty! Love yourself!"

@Alligator: I am going to private message you, but THANK YOU THANK YOU for the bit you posted. That actually makes me feel a lot better and I think I will try to start making changes now (well once I am approved for an operation) to help me get into the groove of things.

@Hazel and Bandist: I'm glad to hear that I am not alone in using food as a coping mechanism and it makes me feel better to hear that this procedure can help a food addict looking for recovery.

[MzEboni912 177]

Thank you so much everyone for reaching out to me. I really appreciate the support and it's only my second post! Please' date=' if you have any advice, want to share experiences, etc, reach out to me via the forums or pm.

@TooMuchFun: I live in the DMV (DC/MD/VA) area, so out of state for us is only a 10 - 20 minute drive depending on the area. I am considering having it done in VA because in MD, my friend (who had the band 2 years ago) said you have a 1 year waiting period, whereas in VA if you're eligible you can jump right in after a psych evaluation and other prepatory mesasures.

@Karen: Sounds like we're kindred spirits in that department! What I wouldn't give to go back in time and shake myself and say"You're not fat! You're not even a little hefty! Love yourself!"

@Alligator: I am going to private message you, but THANK YOU THANK YOU for the bit you posted. That actually makes me feel a lot better and I think I will try to start making changes now (well once I am approved for an operation) to help me get into the groove of things.

@Hazel and Bandist: I'm glad to hear that I am not alone in using food as a coping mechanism and it makes me feel better to hear that this procedure can help a food addict looking for recovery.[/quote']

Welcome Comfy Blue I was 150 almost of my HS years. I know where you are coming from. I think you should try to find a surgeon in your area. You can have more support we are all here as well. Trust yourself and everything well be alright.

[kll724 3,055]

Thank you so much everyone for reaching out to me. I really appreciate the support and it's only my second post! Please, if you have any advice, want to share experiences, etc, reach out to me via the forums or pm.

@TooMuchFun: I live in the DMV (DC/MD/VA) area, so out of state for us is only a 10 - 20 minute drive depending on the area. I am considering having it done in VA because in MD, my friend (who had the band 2 years ago) said you have a 1 year waiting period, whereas in VA if you're eligible you can jump right in after a psych evaluation and other prepatory mesasures.

@Karen: Sounds like we're kindred spirits in that department! What I wouldn't give to go back in time and shake myself and say"You're not fat! You're not even a little hefty! Love yourself!"

@Alligator: I am going to private message you, but THANK YOU THANK YOU for the bit you posted. That actually makes me feel a lot better and I think I will try to start making changes now (well once I am approved for an operation) to help me get into the groove of things.

@Hazel and Bandist: I'm glad to hear that I am not alone in using food as a coping mechanism and it makes me feel better to hear that this procedure can help a food addict looking for recovery.

Saying you live in the DC area, makes sense to go out of state! A lot of people in that area go "out of state"( I lived in Maryland for 40 years, so am aware). Go where you feel comfortable, even out of state! :wub: