Were you fat as a kid?

[Wheetsin 714]

I find it interesting too that I feel wonderful now at 80 kg odd, yet when I weighed this at 16 I thought I was enormous.

My initial goal is anything under 200 lbs. My eventual goal is 180. When I last weighed 180, I wanted to lose about 30 lbs, which seemed like an impossibly large amount of weight. When I see pictures of myself at 180, I'm like "What was I thinking?! I look fine!"

I'm tall, just a smidge under 6 foot, and I know that at ~240 I wear a loose 20/taut 18. Or I did, at least. I would be thrilled with a 12 or 14, which for me is about 180. And 180 is the last weight that I felt comfortable about myself at.

The bulk of my weight now is sitting in the area below my waist and above my knees. Hell, I can feel my vertebra now, and my shoulderblades, and have the "sunken stomach" look when I lay down -- which is just creepy. But that mid-section weight isn't budging. So I've become rather disproportionate -- about 2 or 3 sizes smaller on top than on bottom. I joke that I have a "diamond" shape (versus pear or ball), but it's really not much of a joke. And it's weird, because the one time I gained weight & lost it all I gained proportionately, and lost it proportionately. And when I gained before going on Atkins I gained proportionately and then lost proportionately. But this damn time my hips aren't going anywhere.

[ousooner 1]

Neal, it's interesting you say that. Through my local support group I've met two other women close to my age that "hang out" on occasion. Two of us were normal weight until later in life. The other was overweight for most of her life. We've had conversations about how the weightloss experience is different for us... from our perspective, we're getting our bodies back. We know what we *should* look like, we just haven't seen it in a while. From the perspective of the third lady, she's never seen herself thin. She has no idea what her "average" body looks like - whether or not she's hippy, the shape of her legs, what styles of clothing compliment her, etc. When you're wearing women's clothing as a child, I can see how you'd never know these things, and that has to be more than a little strange.

You are so right and I understand what the 3rd lady is going through. I am nomally not a vein person, but I find myself staring at myself in the mirror a lot looking at the new me. One I have never seen before. You mention clothing. I am struggling with that too. I have always worn what I could find and now I have to figure out what style I like and want to wear. Its fun and scary at the same time!

[Isabella 4]

yup i'm a chubby kid lol until i get my band filled on March 6th...

[Wheetsin 714]

You are so right and I understand what the 3rd lady is going through. I am nomally not a vein person, but I find myself staring at myself in the mirror a lot looking at the new me. One I have never seen before. You mention clothing. I am struggling with that too. I have always worn what I could find and now I have to figure out what style I like and want to wear. Its fun and scary at the same time!

Ok, apologies, but I'm going to veer OT for a second, because I'm truly curious about this. When you dream, are you fat or thin in your dreams? And when you picture yourself (e.g. put on an outfit and picture what it looks like), are you picturing fat you or thin you?

I ask because - in my dreams, I'm always thin me, never fat me. And when I put something on and picture it, it's often thin me that I picture, at least for a second. And that's part of what makes this all such a miserable reality check... I can get it in my head that I look one way, and then see a picture of bit of video that acts like a slap in the face.

[ousooner 1]

Ok, apologies, but I'm going to veer OT for a second, because I'm truly curious about this. When you dream, are you fat or thin in your dreams? And when you picture yourself (e.g. put on an outfit and picture what it looks like), are you picturing fat you or thin you?

I ask because - in my dreams, I'm always thin me, never fat me. And when I put something on and picture it, it's often thin me that I picture, at least for a second. And that's part of what makes this all such a miserable reality check... I can get it in my head that I look one way, and then see a picture of bit of video that acts like a slap in the face.

No apologies I don't know about the dream thing as I can't remember a dream with me in it. Kinda weird. When I try on clothes. I still see the fat guy. Its really hard to see myself otherwise. When I see pics, I see the real me, but the mirror is a different story. And when I look at my new clothes, I think that I can't fit in those, but I can. Hope that helps. :Banane43:

[TheCascadian 1]

Ok, apologies, but I'm going to veer OT for a second, because I'm truly curious about this. When you dream, are you fat or thin in your dreams? And when you picture yourself (e.g. put on an outfit and picture what it looks like), are you picturing fat you or thin you?

This is an awesome question!

As I said, I've never been thin.

However, I am ALWAYS thin in my dreams, unless the dream is somehow a horrible one about my weight.

My dream-self is a tall and average build with lean muscle.

My real shape is a pear with a pear-shaped head. Think GRIMACE from the Mcdonalds adverts! LOL.

I don't know if I'll look like my dream-self or not, but I'll keep you updated.

[TheCascadian 1]

yup i'm a chubby kid lol until i get my band filled on March 6th...

Omigosh... So young.

Quick, MODERATORS!!! Gotta lock up the Lounge, man! Start carding at the door! :Banane43:

Seriously though, good luck with your band! I'm actually relieved to know that you are starting to fight it now. I wish I'd been more proactive at an even younger age.

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I was the EXACT opposite of fat growing up! I was always a VERY skinny girl, and at 12 got into modeling where you can NEVER be skinny enough. I developed Bulima there, and my problems with food began....

[demsvmejm 5]

Since early elementary I've been considered chubby. Mom always shopped in the JCPenney catalog because they had "chubby" sized school uniform clothes.

I remember why I started my first "diet" in 6th grade. I was so excited to wear my new dress to school and a boy asked me if I was pregnant! I cried all day long. I thought I looked wonderful and he basically said you look fat.

Looking back, I was around 10-20 lbs overweight on and off throughout adolescence, but when your short it looks like more. (4'11" now)

Kids are cruel. I always felt like "blubber" like in the Judy Blume book....(the women would know!)

[Isabella 4]

Omigosh... So young.

Quick, MODERATORS!!! Gotta lock up the Lounge, man! Start carding at the door!

Seriously though, good luck with your band! I'm actually relieved to know that you are starting to fight it now. I wish I'd been more proactive at an even younger age.

Well geee, you're nice... lol jk. Thanks- i can't wait until i get my first fill

[Boo 3]

I was NEVER fat in my life, until about 8 years ago. BUT!!! I remember feeling terrified of becoming fat at age 6. I was keenly aware how unacceptable it was to overeat. And I felt an intense appetite that needed to be harnassed.

My first food journal was started at age 9. My first diet at 10. I would write my mother letters asking for her help when I was 5'1" and my weight rose to 95 pounds. The curvy, feminine shape was confusing to me and I thought it was chunky.

As an adult, many of my jobs revolved around my body (not prostitution or anything like that). Even though I was rewarded many opportunities and a great income for having an amazing shape, I was the most critical.

Finally, my greatest fear caught up with me and became my reality.

Becoming obese taught me to nurture and appreciate other qualities and strengths. Now I value myself in a completely different way. Even when I reach my goal, I doubt I will ever go back to a world that is only valued by appearance.

[wootsie73 0]

I just found this thread, so I'm going to answer both the original question and the dream question. I was a premature baby, so I was very small at birth. My mom was always having me checked by my doctor because I was so thin. I start becoming "chubby" when I hit puberty at the early age of 9. I was not really heavy until I became a freshman in high school. Between 9th and 10th grade, I lost my weight, by taking diet pills my mother got for me, and I stayed thin until I was out of high school. I gained about 40 lbs when I had my daughter, but lost it many times over. I didn't really start gaining a large amount of weight until I was involved in several bad relationships. I guess you could say my weight has always been my parka to protect me from being hurt again. I'm not banded and I won't be until at least a year from now, due to medical problems, but I do know what I looked like thin and I have to say that I was above average in looks. Not just my opinion either. LOL So, I am going to try and lose my weight without the band, or at least a large part of it, since I can't get it for a year.

The dream question is interesting. I don't see myself in my dreams. It's like I'm the outsider looking in on the dream, so I never actually know which me is there.

~Joan~

[2boys2cute 0]

No, I was a thin child growing up and did some work for Ford-Modeling also. I was thin until about age 30 then gained, a lot after each child I had and it has been hard the past several years but I do want to lose the weight for my health and to be here for my children in years to come. I lost my dad early due to heart issues and so I don't want to follow in the same path so trying to do what I can now to be healthy again! And if I end up still looking good again after I lose the weight, well thats a plus. And so it just goes to show you anyone can be thin and anyone can gain alot of weight also.

[laralynn86 0]

I have a sister who's 14 months older than me. In all of our younger pictures our outfits are interchangeable (there's actually one picture of her wearing the top and me wearing the bottoms to one outfit). So at age two and a half, I was wearing the same size as my sister who was almost four. I try to accept blame for my weight issues now, but at a year or two old - it's not something personally controlled.

I remember this same sister explaining to me around age 5 or 6 "you're too old to still have baby fat, now you're just fat" (aren't siblings just fabulous?). We started our periods within a week of each other (me first) and I wore a bra before she did.

I really wasn't a particularly large child, but compared to this sister (compared to all five of my sister's actually), I was enormous. And to make matters so much better, this sister ate constantly (and still does - and she's as small as ever). I guarantee she's consumed 15-times more food than I have in our lifetimes. A year ago or so I realized I had to get over the bitterness that life's unfair cause I was stuck with the crappy metabolism. I'm still trying.

My goal is listed at 145, which is my "ideal weight" but honestly - I'd give both my legs to weigh under 200. I weighed 175 in highschool and, like everyone else, thought I was GIGANTIC. I look back at pictures now and think, what the heck - I looked great.

[sleepyjean 0]

From childhood all the way up through college, I was always chubby - ten or 20 pounds heavier than I should've been. It wasn't until after college that I experienced the true joys of obesity and yo-yo dieting. I can't imagine ever being thin. I would love it, but I think I'll probably wind up back where I was, with an extra 15 pounds or so standing between me and "thin".