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Mother is sick every night



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I'm posting this in the hopes that someone can help me with my mother. She has had the band for 3 years. She initially lost 65 pounds. Since my father passed away, 2-1/2 years ago, she has let herself eat anything she wants. She is to the point now where I'm afraid she's becoming bulemic. She'll eat some food, go to the bathroom and throw up, then come back and finish her meal. She also eats foods she knows she's not supposed to - lots of breads, rice, etc. At night, she has been coughing horribly and doesn't feel well at all lately. She has been checked out by her regular internist and is fine. Do you think she needs to have the band removed completely since she is not abiding by the rules, or should she just have the fill reduced? Thanks for any input.

~Nancy

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Big hugs to you Nancy :)

No, I don't think she needs it removed but she should go get checked out incase she has done any damage.

IMHO is sounds like she is struggling with depression and the only way she is dealing with your Dad's passing is eating. I did the same thing when my sister suddenly passed away. Took me 7 years and a gain of 100 lbs to realize I needed serious help.

I believe she needs to grieve and go to counceling.

Hugs and Kisses to you and your Mom.

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Instead of having the band removed, she could have it unfilled for now while she deals with her issues.

Stress can cause the band to tighten up, so I think she needs to have some counseling with her grief.

I am so sorry for you and your mother's loss.

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She may not be making herself vomit like a bulemic would but simply vomitting from eating things she shouldn't. Sounds like she needs some grief counselling and probably an unfill too so she can deal with her emotions without harming the band.

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I had the same symptoms your mother is having. I had them for 4 months and decided to go to the doctor and it turned out that my esophagus has expanded and formed a small stomache and this caused my not to digest my food and at nights I always had reflux, coughing, nearly shoking and throwing up. The doctor opened my band and put me on liquid diet for 15 days and this coming Thursday I will see if my esophagus is back to its normal size and begin the band adjustment again. This happens for eating more than you should and forcing food that we know can't be eaten.

I'm posting this in the hopes that someone can help me with my mother. She has had the band for 3 years. She initially lost 65 pounds. Since my father passed away, 2-1/2 years ago, she has let herself eat anything she wants. She is to the point now where I'm afraid she's becoming bulemic. She'll eat some food, go to the bathroom and throw up, then come back and finish her meal. She also eats foods she knows she's not supposed to - lots of breads, rice, etc. At night, she has been coughing horribly and doesn't feel well at all lately. She has been checked out by her regular internist and is fine. Do you think she needs to have the band removed completely since she is not abiding by the rules, or should she just have the fill reduced? Thanks for any input.

~Nancy

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Nancy - I have been banded since October 06. I have had 2 fills and I throw up often also. I am a pharmacist, so, I am always worried about developing an eating disorder. I can relate EXACTLY to what your mother is going through. She enjoys food; so she eats; she realizes she has eaten too much and it starts to hurt ..... it is easy to throw up .... the food is not gross when it is thrown up .... so, it's no biggie! I can then go back and eat the rest of my meal. She needs to chill out and find another way to express her grief! If she wants to talk to me about throwing up a lot have her email me at rosehickson@yahoo.com I am 41 years old and I would understand.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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