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Relationships after--pre surgery anger



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Yeah, I really appreciate everyone's input. I've decided not to date him. We've known each other for 7 years and lived together for a month while I waited for dorms to open. He knows me inside and out. If he didn't want me while I'm fat, that's fine. Not everybody digs my figure. However, I want someone who loves me for me no matter what. I'm a beautiful person inside and out so--nope. He gets no play. Lol!!

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I meet my husband while I was still thin in high school. We just celebrated our 5 year anniversary last week. He has been very supportive of my weight gain and my decisions to have surgery. It sucks because he is 6' 175lbs and can easy anything! I feel that people have to have an initial physical attraction in order to be interested in getting to know you in a romantic way. I do feel my husband may not have hit on me if I had started at this weight before he knew me.

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Star - u r such a good catch!!! It won't be long for someone else comes along and snatch you up!! I meet my husband while I was bigger. I weighed about 220 when we met. I gained a lot if weight and several medical issues. I was able to get back to 230 when we got married 7 years later. Yesterday we celebrated our Anniversary of knowing each other for 13 years at my smallest weight ever 185. Now - I've truly held up my vows for thick and thin - lol!!!

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

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Yes thank you. I'm not afraid I will never meet anyone. I was angry because someone I've known for YEARS suddenly wants to show interest now that I'm going through this preop process and I just found it to be really aggravating. Of course initial attraction is important but after 7 years, you know me and if you still didn't want it, trust me, you're not getting it now that you think I'm good enough. I was always good enough, you just didn't want to bang me lol. But I'm over it now, I feel much better, much more confident in just telling him no. He wasted too much time on looks ad that's not my problem.

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That is a good mindset to have :)

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If he didn't want you at your worse, he doesn't deserve you at your best! No worries chica! My paperwork is in the process of being out together and sent into my insurance so I hope to hear back from great news! My husband has been behind me 100% with the surgery and people often ask him if he's a little worried I'll change after my surgery and he always replies, "No worries, I know the love is genuine - big or small." Hope the best for you on your journey! <3

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

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@padlrd...that was my husband and he had me in tears at that meeting. Thank you so much for acknowledging that beautiful moment.

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He had just about everyone in the room in tears SO does he have any friends like him we talked about at a class last week

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I wish he did. He definately is a rare find. If one happens to show up, I will send him your way. Ha Ha.

I read him what you wrote about him and he was very honored that you remembered what he said. So sweet.

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I like your confidence!

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This was a very caring man that loved his wife a spoke from his heart that big or small he trolley loved and supported his wife

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This was a very caring man that loved his wife a spoke from his heart that big or small he trolley loved and supported his wife

that's a beautiful story and Jerzigirl is one lucky woman! Having unconditional love and a great support system is terrific! So when you do find that special someone you hold on to them!

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I understand where everyone is coming from. Maybe I'm wrong but what's wrong with giving him a chance? Maybe it's not about the weight. Maybe it's just about timing? If u really care for him and he could b there for u through everything, y not give him a chance?

And when ur skinny or when ur over it, move on and let him go. Just a thought.

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I understand where everyone is coming from. Maybe I'm wrong but what's wrong with giving him a chance? Maybe it's not about the weight. Maybe it's just about timing? If u really care for him and he could b there for u through everything' date=' y not give him a chance?

And when ur skinny or when ur over it, move on and let him go. Just a thought.[/quote']

That's another way of looking at it!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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