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My husband is having surgery tomorrow (2/14) and I admit to being nervous. I have not found anywhere for partners to discuss concerns/issues so while this might not be the correct forum, I have enjoyed reading the posting and looking throughout the website. If anyone can point me in another direction, I would appreciate it.

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You can jump right in anywhere. Basically, we love a concerned spouse. Any specific questions?

Welcome and congrats on your Spouse's little Valentine's present.

:]

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I love how supportive my husband has been through this whole thing. He's been my knight in shining armor! The very best thing you can do for him is to be supportive, and understanding! You are SO welcome here! Any concerns you have, just ask away!

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My biggest concern at this point is of course the surgery and the risk involved with that but I also wonder about "life after". I am in complete agreement that this surgery is necessary for him but I also know that my son and I will have to continue to eat. Can anyone tell me how life at home and meals changed after......

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After the initial healing phase, the food will be all up to your DH (dear husband).

Initial healing generally last for 4-6 weeks.

Most docs put patients on Clear Liquids for a week (broth, Water, juice, clear Protein supplements)

then full liquids for a week (milk, milky Protein supplements, blended soups)

Then mushies (refried Beans, mashed potatoes, etc) for a week

and soft foods for a week (scrambled eggs - mac & cheese, etc)

You should have chewable Gas meds, a few servings of clear Liquid Protein, some broth, some chewable tylenol, and some juice on hand for the next couple of days. Clear liquid Proteins can be found at GNC or your local vitamin/supplement shop. Everything else you can find at your local grocery.

Your doc should give you explicit instructions prior to or immediately after the surgery.

After your DH moves to regular foods - what he eats will be up to him, and he will probably be able to eat with you and your son most of the time. You will just need to focus on being sure there is plenty of protein and some veggies at every meal. Bandsters eat protein first, then veggies, then complex carbs if there is any room.

SOME bandsters have foods that are more difficult to tolerate.... foods that get stuck - but that is highly individual. Some bands won't tolerate chicken, some won't deal with rice, or bread. Some will take anything. Just keep the meats tender and moist, and you will be fine.

Good Luck!!

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I was only banded on January 18th so not sure if I'm equipped to help you yet but am gonna put my 2 cents in! My husband was fantastic....just be there for them, look the other way if the mental part of this life changing surgery hits home....I had a couple days that I was saying what the HE## did I do? That was during liquid and mushie stage right after surgery! Now to answer your question...I can eat anything my family (11 year old son and 7 year old twin boys and hubby of course!!) eats. Last night they had spaghetti and cheese toast...I had 1/2 cup spaghetti and the inside part of the cheese and toast. From what I'm told, in a couple weeks when I get the first fill that might change a bit. Got a friend who eats anything her family eats just a whole lot more of it! Make sure and take measurements and pictures....the weight loss itself will stall out at some point and it's nice to see or have proof that he's losing inches instead of weight. For example...I haven't lost any weight for 2 weeks, but I put on a swimming suit that last year I wouldn't have left the bedroom in and was parading around in it like a model!!!

Just be supportive and go with the flow! Good luck and if you have any other questions you can just ask away.

Lisa.

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I think you have found a great place to get support! I can not think of a better place to discuss your concerns then with the folks that have gone through it. Good luck with DH.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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