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I'm so frustrated, I feel like I'm not getting any support from my boyfriend or my family, no one gets that the transition post op is very difficult on me. I know people can eat and live however they want but I was told there would always be food in this house I can have and there isn't; instead there is a carvel ice cream cake shaped like a football, 4lbs of chicken wings, and cheesecake. Lately all I do is lay in my bed and cry because I don't want to even look at the food in my kitchen and I don't have enough money to buy anything myself this week. I don't know if this was worth it I'm down 33lbs but I don't look different and I just feel like no one cares at all.

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I'm so sorry u have to go through this. I couldn't imagine not having support from my loved ones. Have u tried talking to them? I hope everything works out

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Well I know I felt like that too, trust me it gets better, dont eat what you shouldnt, I find it is a common problem, unless you have had the surgery the ones around you dont completely understand how you feel, Just stay strong...Look for support on here. We all have one thing in common we are all going through the same experience.

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I'm sorry you are going through that with your family, I actually am feeling a level of frustration too ESP. Today! I just want to eat, I'm visiting family and I'm getting psyched out by their big portions. Not to mention the 30 min rule, my bag full of meds ugh. When I'm home I'm not tempted because I live alone, this is hard!

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sorry you are having to deal with this. I have a different problem with my food.... I buy things that I can eat and the kids see it as snack food. (deli chicken, cheese sticks, yogurt, etc...) It's fine if I am home, but when I have to leave and am not able to monitor the kitchen they go bonkers on MY food.

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Everyone gets frustrated... We did this to ourselves... We made ourselves fat... You are looking different and better... Peel the skin off the wings there is some good moist meat under there. The mourning of not being able to eat happens to all of us... The sooner you deal with this demon the better your frame of mind will be. No one twisted your arm to have the surgery... Deal with the hand you dealt yourself... You got this!!!

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We have all been there at one time or another. It's hard, I know. It's just as new for them as it is for you. My husband still struggles with it and I'm 6 months out. If you need to stay in your room and cry and mourn food do it. I watched the food network after surgery just to have a putty party.

Eat what you can and trust you made the right/ best decision.

Hugs.

.::SurgeryDate 7/25/12::.

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I had my husband come to all the doctor appointments and Nutrician classes with me so that he learned as I did. He is a skinny dude who can eat whatever he wants and never gains weight. I explained to him what it feels like to be heavy all the emotional social things. He is a great support. He even sold two of his favorite things, a pistol and a rifle, in order to get the final money we needed for me to have surgery. In ten years of marriage he never once said anything derogatory about my weight. My advice is try and talk to them, really explain your feelings to them and let them know how critical it is for you to get proper Nutrician.

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I'm sorry UR goin thru this try n drink UR Protein Shakes if u have fruit cups with Water add that too it do u have any Snacks like apple's bananas. I no how it feels to want to eat n no cash to get what u want. Prayer changes things n never keep UR emotions bottled up tell UR family how u r feelin I'm sure they don't understand so u need to make them. Have faith n no this is only for a short time we are all here for support

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sorry you are having to deal with this. I have a different problem with my food.... I buy things that I can eat and the kids see it as snack food. (deli chicken, cheese sticks, yogurt, etc...) It's fine if I am home, but when I have to leave and am not able to monitor the kitchen they go bonkers on MY food.

I have the same problem......

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They probably are behind you... But it's Super Bowl. They didnt have this surgery. We did. Their lives haven't changed, ours have. Look at yourself in the mirror... All those foods in the fridge got you to where you are. You don't want those foods. Eat the good stuff- the Protein and leave the rest. Take 10$ and buy shredded deli meat and a pack of cheese. It'll feed you for days.

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Try keepin stuff for you in UR room like Snacks drinks that's y I do n I have a lock on my bedroom door so my kids no when I'm.not home UR not welcome in my room n the things n there belong to me

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My advise is to sit down and talk with them about this. For example : before surgery my hubby (who has always been skinny) and I talked about the major life changes about to occur. I opened up to him for the first time about my weight and thing that had happened when I was doing really good on a diet he would come home with sweets. He always said you have to have the will power to say no to things. I always felt like he was sabotaging me and my efforts. He said he was sorry and we talked about how after the surgery things would be different. I would not be able to eat those things and did not want the temptation.

About 1 month post op my husband who had been a rock and helped me with everything came home from the store with a chocolate cream pie. He very proudly said I bought this for you. It is soft and creamy so it will be easy on your tummy. I got upset and went into my room. I normally would let that fester and fester before saying something, but not this time. This was too important! I went to him and said remember we talked about you sabotaging me. I said that is what that pie represents, but this time if I eat that I throw up. It was like a light bulb went off in his head. We then talked about how he still wanted to eat sweets at night, and we came to a compromise about what he could bring in the house.

My point to the story is you must talk to your family. They may not understand how you are feeling. It needs to be a calm discussion and not pointing fingers or yelling, but simply you said you would support me and the foods that are here are not supporting me. However be ready for a compromise. Everyone is right we choose the surgery not them. For my hubby and I - we agreed to coconut cream pie for him to eat because I hate the taste of coconut. There are solutions out there, but you have to be ready to make them work.

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Its a hard situation.....I would for sure tell them what you are feeling. When money is tight for me, I eat oatmeal with Protein Powder. Or the whole grain cream of wheat . We are the lucky ones to be able to have this tool. A lot of people can't afford it . My surgery was before Christmas so I found everyone was eating all this yummy food and I was on liquids. I was angry, but then decided that I can make this hard for me or not . It has gotten tons easier with time. And the pounds coming off feels great. Good luck!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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