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Wife doesn't want me to get surgery

kinggrichard

By kinggrichard, in The Guys’ Room

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DaveR    0

DaveR
Posted

My wife and daughter are totally against me having RNY surgery. They are giving me no support. They feel I can lose weight on my own. I just wasn't trying all those other times I dieted. I'm still pressing on and doing everything to get the surgery no matter what.

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JW3    5

JW3
Posted

I had a friend get a lap band and he had lost a 100 lbs. I spent about an hour talking to him about it. I went home and asked my wife what she thought. Right away she told me she would support my decsion if I wanted to go ahead with the surgery. Duenoing the workups to the sugery she found people that we knew that had the surgery and hooked me up with them so I cold ask questions. Based on my discusion with those people and my surgeon, Dr Shadle (Sacramento, CA) I had thevertical sleeve sugery.

So my experience is completely the opposite of what you are ging through.

However, hind sight being 20/20 don't let anyone get in your way. I am 3 months post op and have lost 75 lbs, I don't take blood pressure medicine anymore, my jpoints don't hurt and I feel great.

Find a good surgeon to help you decide which proceedurte is right for you and go for it! It is your life and your decision to make.

Good luck

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James Marusek    5,244

James Marusek
Posted

My wife was the one who urged me to undergo this operation and she has been supportive. The only person who has not been supportive has been my mother. She is somewhat dependent on me and is more focused on anything that might interfere with that support.

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micmt    120

micmt
Posted

I wanted to get started in January. Had the first appt scheduled but my wife was very against it so I canceled it. Then I needed a colonoscopy or two and 50 precancerous polyps were removed. Blew through my max out of pocket nuttin flat. Told her its now free and I want to do it. She still thinks one more diet is all I need. But she knows I really want it.

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micmt    120

micmt
Posted

I'm on my first day of liquid diet. My surgery date is nov 4. My wife knows I really want it done and she has come around mostly. She is worried of course but she is ok with it.

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Mayaresearchmom    104

Mayaresearchmom
Posted

I'm on my first day of liquid diet. My surgery date is nov 4. My wife knows I really want it done and she has come around mostly. She is worried of course but she is ok with it.

Congrats on taking control of your life. Hope all is well after your surgery.

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    • LeighaTR

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      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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