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People and their opinions.....



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Today in class I was speaking with a classmate whom had the Lap Band surgery a year ago. As we were going back in forth in conversation talking about weight gain, bariatric surgery and other stuff...meanwhile some others were listening in on our convo.(Noseyasses). One particular person asked us what the criteria was in order to be considered for surgery.. we told her and she was like "oh, okay cool..." So this person asked me what surgery was I looking into,I said,"RNY"... the whole dag'gone class turned their heads at me and stared.. as if I said that Jesus wasn't real or something else!!!! People frown on RNY..they say stuff like,

"Wow, thats too drastic", " I'm not doing all that", or "I'll just walk and exercise to get my weight off".

Anyways... everybody started giving there opinions about it... how people get sick or die or vomit or get infections or lose their hair or whatever else they could think of...smdh. Not to mention the classmate who had the Lap Band surgery started going on and on about how Lap Band is reversible or whatever..and the reason she chose it. She said it in such a tone though, like her decision was the better one.

Beware people! Choosing baratric surgery is like choosing a gang.. if you don't choose their gang they will argue you down and try to make their decision or choice seem as if it's the rational one... and believe me they are passionate about their beliefs.

So be strong. lol

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This is the first time that I've read of a situation quite like this. It isn't surprising that folks have strong feelings about their personal choices but some of the comments are at best quite uncalled for, at worst just plain misinformation. In some cases the choice of which surgery is dictated by medical reasons (for example the sleeve or band are usually not recommended for folks who already have problems with reflux). Beyond medical considerations, I believe the most important question we all have to answer is what surgery will be the most effective. RNY has the longest track record of any of the surgeries and is the single most effective treatment known to medical science for type 2 diabetes. It also has the best record for losing the most weight (followed closely by the sleeve). And almost every day new studies are showing it to be the surgery with the best record for long-term success (again followed closely by the sleeve). Effectiveness is, or at least in my opinion should be, the key.

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I wonder if your superior friend there has ever read anything about why there are so many banded people getting revisions to RNY. I have gotten mostly supportive comments about the decision to have an RYN, with the exception of one "what the hell are you doing that for?" and yesterday's "You'll lose so fast you'll get hanging skin." People are both stupid and opinionated when it comes to the issue of obesity and its treatment, even the obese can be that way!

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When I decided to have my surgery I got the same reponse from my family and friends. Thats why when i had my surgery my husband and a few close friends were the only ones who knew about it. Now when I pop up to family events their jaws drop to the floor. My point is do whatever you feel is right for yourself, do what makes you happy.:-)

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I hear these comments all the time!

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I agree everyone has opinions, thats the reason i did not tell/discuss my surgery with anyone..... Its sad but true.....

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Yeah,I really didn't want my class to know about it, It just so happens I was offering an ear to the "Lap Band" girl.. people are a mess anyways. They talk about you whether you're doing good or bad. Some people hate so much that you have means to change something about yourself.Instead of being happy for you or offering a prayer they'll say things they know nothing about.

The people who are uninformed usually have the most strongest opinions or speak the loudest... So I ignore them.

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Dave.. So eloquent as usual... Good to see you back on the boards!!!

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I love that - "choosing a surgery is like joining a gang". I had a similar experience with a friend of mine, and couldn't explain to my husand why it was such a big deal. I love the way you summed it up!

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One of my requirements was to go to two support groups. I already knew that I was going to do RNY. When they asked what surgery I was considering and I said RNY, I got the SAME reaction- every head turned and it was an instant chorus of "No!! You don't want to do that!" Then they tried to say how horrible it is based on some other people's horror stories, etc. It was wild!! So I feel you on that one. Needless to say, my second support group at a different place accepted everyone of all surgery types. :-)

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The first support meeting I went to, there was a woman who was 5 or 6 years post op. She had a lot of horror stories to tell. I was happy to see her not there the next month, but now there is a guy who lost 300lbs, and is many years post op. He has taken her place, only more graphically so AND the facilitator chimes in with her hernia tale of terror. Dude, I really, really don't want to know how bad your gas smells. I guess that is what happens in these groups, in small towns.

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To be put under the microscope like that in front of the whole class must have been awful especially when you had nothing but good intentions trying to help lap-band girl…..And I agree with many of the others responses I only tell those that really need to know kind of thing otherwise I’m gonna get 10 different opinions from Tom, Dick and Harry and then you have some that no matter what you do or say it isn’t ever gonna be ok. So my new motto after having RnY is as long as the man upstairs and I are good all is good in the neighborhood :D

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Only 1 person knows about my surgery because I refuse to engage in the almost guaranteed negativity, jealousy, and ignorance surrounding the procedure and its use as a medical tool for weight loss-not an easy way out. My family, co-workers, friends, etc. would not/do not get it. Aside from work, people will only know (after the fact) I had a hernia repaired, which will happen at the same time.

I'm sure I may get questions later, but if so I'll deal with that when the time comes and respond with an honest, "I'm eating less and healthier". B)

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Self-empowerment intimidates others. I can only suggest to use that self-empowerment to transcend the power of others' opinions. As you become more self-empowered, other people will learn to keep their mouths shut. It takes time, but human beings can be trained.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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