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Hubby Thinking Its The "easy Way"



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Cookier224 that's exactly how my hubby is and would be! Congrats on ur loss ! He will NEVER be onboard I know for sure! If I can get approved for surgery and get healthy that's all I'm worried about..it would help for support tho !

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I am not married, but I have a big family. Some of my family members are very encouraging and supportive... Others not so much. My uncle actually told me, he that I was stupid if I had this done. All I needed to do was eat right and exercise, surgery was a cop out. It made me feel like crap, but bottom lie I am doing this for me. I don't think anything about this surgery or the process had been or will be easy. I hope your husband will understand that some things you need to do for you. Good luck with everything!

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So even this forum has spam?? Ughh seriously ?

It's been reported. We don't need that here!

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I wish skinny people would learn before they open their mouths and say some thing STUPID. Think this is the easy way out try eating what I eat try feeling the way I feel at times. Try working out till you want to cry from the pain but know you can't quite. Try being scared to fail so you can say see I told you so. Think this is easy try walking in my shoes before you pass judgement. After that then you can have your opinion till then SHUT UP and SUPPORT ME

Surgery Anniversary 7/30/12

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It isn't a question of easy. The question is what is effective. Obesity is a progressive, degenerative disease that is the number two cause of preventable death in the U.S. So again, the question is what is effective. And the answer to that question is that bariatric surgery is the most effective treatment known to medical science for the treatment of obesity. AND more than 20 obesity related co-morbidities including type 2 diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnea and heart disease.

Those who see the surgery as the easy way out usually, sooner or later, get around to the whole "diet and exercise" thing. Especially when you're talking to a person that has never suffered from obesity. They believe "eat less, move more" is the answer because it works for them. But the fact is that the statistical failure rate of diet and exercise for anyone with a BMI of 30 or greater is almost 100%. It does not work. It never has.

People who care about us are worried. Not only perfectly understandable but a great expression of caring. Our challenge is to help them understand that the surgery is safer and more effective than any other option. And that includes doing nothing which, in the long run, is a sure formula for disaster.

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DL I agree! I have dieted my whole life while I dont have as much to loose as many on here ..I do need to loose a good bit of weight. I have been a yoyo dieter since I was a teen! I loose 10 I gain 15-20... I want to use this surgery as a tool to get healthy ..sadly I have just started my journey and my diet will not be finished until late springish..my insurance requires a 6 month diet with 7 documented drs visits consecutively /:

I think he sees it as somewhat "barbaric" and I understand really I do but it's my body my life! I think the reason my family would never approve is because I have an aunt who had the surgery 10 years ago and she went to the extreme got down to a girls 14 @ onetime probably a 2 /4 now.. And she wouldn't do what the surgeon told her to ..she told me the other day she "refuses" to live off of Protein Shakes and eat that way.shes scared to gain a pound I think..and that I understand also but I just want to be healthy not be a size 2 ...I understand the worries I just get disheartened by the snide comments and the I don't wanna hear about it.i am supportive of anything he does and it kinda hurts.

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Knowledge is the key we all need to share,and help those that don't know or understand.

Surgery Anniversary 7/30/12

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I think that anyone who has never struggled with their weight seems to be the most "judgmental".the only people who know I going to do this is my hubby &my oldest daughter ' date='I am a mom of 4.my daughter is super supportive.My dad would flip..due to worry,my in laws would just tell me how stupid I was..and just lose it naturally..easy comming from a mom n law who has been tiny her whole life.i am 5'8 and never know what it was like to be in her shoes..I just want to be happy and healthy in my own skin without worrying about people's comments ..this is why I have chosen to be selective about who I tell![/quote']

I am 5'8 too And started at 249....think God my husband has been supportive through this butts I'm very close to my sisters and my 1 sister says this is the easy way out she's overweight herself and is jealous that I had the surgery everyday I struggle with this decision I made to have the surgery I'm 6 weeks out and lost almost 40 pounds but it truly is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I am nauseous all the time and I rather not eat so it's hard to get my Protein in. Also watching everyone eat around you start head hunger..... Plus I never realized how many advertisements there are in our lives for food. I think about my sister saying that I took the easy way out and all I wanna do is cry. This is not the easy way out. I hope that you and your husband can get on board with the surgery because it has truly help me having my husband support. I didn't tell everyone either I only told my mom, my 2 sisters , my husband, my daughter, and my coworkers. I don't want anyone else knowing. My sister says why because you're ashamed and you're going to lie to people and my response to that is I eat less I drink Water only and I workout that's the truth. Good luck....

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Mytime....I have heard tht you go thru a time after surgery where u question your decision ..hang in there! Also I am hoping after I have the surgery which will be springish he will realize its ok!

He just doesn't get it & that's ok..I won't tell anyone other than him & my oldest daughter because I don't want to deal with the pressure to not have the surgery.after its done its done then it won't matter.im not telling my dad because he just lost my mom in January & the thought of me doing this would worry him.good luck with ur journey!! And God bless!

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Joyaskins mentioned "snide comments" from skinny folks who dont approve of bariatric surgery-- well dont we all experience the snide comments and judgement of others before we lose this weight anyway? Just today i was in the vegetable section at safeway and a young male stockboy says loudly, "looks like the circus is in town" and the female stockboy cackled loud and high and long- ( i turned so red- and me in my new nice summer dress after losing 30 pounds before surgery) So $&@#~! them all.

Fat people are the last acceptable group to ridicule. Gay bashing is a hate crime, why not fat bashing too??

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Joyaskins mentioned "snide comments" from skinny folks who dont approve of bariatric surgery-- well dont we all experience the snide comments and judgement of others before we lose this weight anyway? Just today i was in the vegetable section at safeway and a young male stockboy says loudly' date=' "looks like the circus is in town" and the female stockboy cackled loud and high and long- ( i turned so red- and me in my new nice summer dress after losing 30 pounds before surgery) So &@#~! them all.

Fat people are the last acceptable group to ridicule. Gay bashing is a hate crime, why not fat bashing too??[/quote']

True I know I mention gay somewhere but I wasn't with bad I tensions but was to let the poster. Know the guy didn't know anything about woman. Maybe homosexual sounds better? I don't want to offend anyone. I'm not against sex age color or anything.

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Hope i didnt offend anyone, i was upset about being made fun of once again. Must have said it wrong. Still ticked off about those bratty stockpersons.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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