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Anybody else experience guilt about having surgery?

I have lived my whole life trying to make others happy & not everybody is happy I'm having this surgery wether they say it out loud or not...

Then i think what if? What if something bad happens? My kids would be without a mom...

So i go through weak times and strong times...surgery is tomorrow!! I have to believe that all will go well and my life will be better because of it!! Ive been a big girl my entire life and its time to live my life for me!!! (And my kids)

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Guilt is such a normal feeling. I have one daughter and she is 2 I had so much fear but not for me but for her. I felt guilt that she wouldn't see me for the 2 nights 3 days in the hospital. She wouldn't understand... I skyped with her but I was so tired and discomfort I didn't talk long. Point is... Mother to mother you are the last person you think about. This is your health and it will be something you do for you. Have no fear, pray for serenity, and fast recovery to return your kiddos.

All the best tomorrow and pls keep us posted on your recovery.

You are in my prayers

Surgery 7/25/12

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Guilt is such a normal feeling. I have one daughter and she is 2 I had so much fear but not for me but for her. I felt guilt that she wouldn't see me for the 2 nights 3 days in the hospital. She wouldn't understand... I skyped with her but I was so tired and discomfort I didn't talk long. Point is... Mother to mother you are the last person you think about. This is your health and it will be something you do for you. Have no fear' date=' pray for serenity, and fast recovery to return your kiddos.

All the best tomorrow and pls keep us posted on your recovery.

You are in my prayers

Surgery 7/25/12[/quote']

Omg thank you, today is such an emotional up and down day!! I cant wait to wake up tomorrow and Be done with the surgery part of this...and yes i will update you guys!!

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Anybody else experience guilt about having surgery?

I have lived my whole life trying to make others happy & not everybody is happy I'm having this surgery wether they say it out loud or not...

Then i think what if? What if something bad happens? My kids would be without a mom...

So i go through weak times and strong times...surgery is tomorrow!! I have to believe that all will go well and my life will be better because of it!! Ive been a big girl my entire life and its time to live my life for me!!! (And my kids)

It isn't an exact comparison but today my daughter in law is going in to have breast enhancement. She dropped the kids off here and I ask if she was nervous and she said no excited and a little guilty, I said why, she said cause I won't be able to be a good mommy for a few days. Mom's just never think we deserve anything for ourselves. But what you are doing will help you be a better mom. Don't feel guilty. You are giving yourself and your family a gift. I will be praying for you and your surgery team.

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It isn't an exact comparison but today my daughter in law is going in to have breast enhancement. She dropped the kids off here and I ask if she was nervous and she said no excited and a little guilty' date=' I said why, she said cause I won't be able to be a good mommy for a few days. Mom's just never think we deserve anything for ourselves. But what you are doing will help you be a better mom. Don't feel guilty. You are giving yourself and your family a gift. I will be praying for you and your surgery team.[/quote']

Thats it both my kids are overweight... I want to teach them how to be healthy adults so they dont end Up like me but when your 300 plus plus pounds thats a bit overwhelming and how do u give them something you dont have?

I can do this!!!!! Thank you for all your prayers!!!

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All those crazy emotions right before surgery are totally normal. Please don't feel guilty, you are doing this to get healthy and be a better Mom to your kids.. why feel guilty about improving your health, you should be proud of yourself !!!! It take a lot to go thru this surgery no matter what your reasoning is. I commend you for doing it and for taking the path to a healthier you - good luck tomorrow :)

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All those crazy emotions right before surgery are totally normal. Please don't feel guilty' date=' you are doing this to get healthy and be a better Mom to your kids.. why feel guilty about improving your health, you should be proud of yourself !!!! It take a lot to go thru this surgery no matter what your reasoning is. I commend you for doing it and for taking the path to a healthier you - good luck tomorrow :)[/quote']

You are so kind...thank you...now i cant stop like cleaning and doing all those things i been wanting to do around the house but never quite got to...just to occupy my mind

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Yes but I wanted to live long & healthy and I knew it was the right decision.

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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