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Are You Telling Anyone? If So, Who? Why?



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I have decided not to tell anyone about my surgery. Only my hubby and BF (who had it last year) will know. And the Dr. of course. My mother would have a stroke and others are so ignorant I don't want to deal with it. I am also terrifed. I have never had surgery or been on any pain meds before. I am afraid they will scare me out of it. I know my employer LOA dept will have some of the details but I have just telling my manager it's surgery.

Thoughts?

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I had a revision to my first RNY in June and I didn't tell anyone. Beside my Bestfriend, mom and husband. I only took a week off so I didn't tell my employer just took vacation.

Mine mainly out of embarrassment since I feel somewhat like a failure since this is my 2nd go round.

If a few good friends asked and I just said I was having something repaired on my stomach. I have kept it really low key.

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I didn't go out of my way to tell everyone but I chose to tell anyone who asked. BUT...I wasn't worried about anyone talking me out of it and with the exceptions of family and close friends, I wasn't too concerned about whether they "agreed" with my decision or not. I haven't had any regrets about the decision but when all is said and done, it's a personal decision. If you're most comfortable not telling anyone, then that's what you should do. You're gonna love the new you!!

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I am two months post op and the only people that know r my husband a good friend and my mom ..... i feel as this is a tool and the rest is all me i am eating right and exercising plus i don't need the whole city i live in knowing my business. I live in a very small area and if one person finds out everyone will know and i don't want to hear it. If i lived in a bigger city i might have told more people. I feel bad sometimes about not telling the whole truth to some friends but its for my own metal health to keep it to my self

Sent from my DROID RAZR using RNYTalk

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I only told my sister, BF and BFF's and a few close people at work. All were 110% supportaive. Other co-workers and accquaitences if they ask about the weight loss, I say diet and exercise !!! Its no ones business what you choose to say or not say!

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Great thread. I thought I was only one keeping it quiet. It just isn't anyone's business. I work with a lot of judgemental people and have enough to deal with. The guy who did my psych eval was even judgemental. He "passed"me but then got on soapbox about diet and excercise. Should have expected it I guess....he did have a ponytail and was wearing sandals.

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Well my mom was the one to suggest the surgery... so she knew before I did ;) . I ended up telling my cousin who lives near me because she is a nutritionist and can help me for the first few months with my food choices. The only other person I told was my sister because she is the one who is going to pick me up from the hospital and she badgered me into why I was even going to be in the hospital.

Overall though I am not going to broadcast it. I've had "friends" get on their high horse about diet and exercise and I can do it on my own... but if that was the case I would be thin/a healthy weight by now because I have been on a constant diet since I was 16 and I exercise quite a bit already.

I might change my mind about telling more people after my surgery but right now... those 3 people are more than plenty.

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Only person that knows is my wife. For some reason I don't want to feel like a failure to anyone. I felt like they would think I was taking the easy way out, which by me being 3 days post-op it is NOT the easy way out.

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I have decided not to tell anyone about my surgery. Only my hubby and BF (who had it last year) will know. And the Dr. of course. My mother would have a stroke and others are so ignorant I don't want to deal with it. I am also terrifed. I have never had surgery or been on any pain meds before. I am afraid they will scare me out of it. I know my employer LOA dept will have some of the details but I have just telling my manager it's surgery.

Thoughts?

I will tell any and everyone who asks. Im not gonna broadcast it but I have shared my journey with many people and most are very supportive. If I am asked I will be truthful. Im no Star Jones, thats for sure! LOL!

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I've told family. I personally should have kept it to myself, but they are the types that will say I'm dying of some type of disease if they saw me losing weight fast. I agree on being truthful about it, but it's ultimately my body, my choice, my decision & it's what "I" have to live with for the rest of my life.

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So far only my wife and parents know. I only told my parents because they are going to stay with us to help out with our 4yo while I recover. I'll probably tell my brother and sisters a couple of weeks after surgery. But that's about all.

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I finally told my mom last night so everyone in the world should know by now it's almost been 24h lmao other then that just my bf :)

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I've told family. I personally should have kept it to myself' date=' but they are the types that will say I'm dying of some type of disease if they saw me losing weight fast. I agree on being truthful about it, but it's ultimately my body, my choice, my decision & it's what "I" have to live with for the rest of my life.[/quote']

Sounds like we might b related lol

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I Only told my husband And Best friend at first. Once I got closer to a date I told a few more friends and my mom but that's it. I just feel like it's a private thing and no one at work or in a social setting need to know

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I go back and forth with deciding whether to say something or not. On 1 hand I think I have friends who would be supportive, but there's always a hater out there!!

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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