Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

He Knew All The Wrong Things To Say!



Recommended Posts

I briefly dated a guy last month that was EXTREMELY handsome. He tried to be modest about his looks, but modesty was not one of his strong points. Anyway, I told him about the weight loss journey that I was about to embark and he made the stupidest comment to me. "Wow, when you lose all that weight, you're going to have to swat the guys off!" Now I know that many people would take this as a compliment, but not me! I've been every size between 8 & 20, and not once has my confidence or beauty waned! My beauty comes from within and spills over into my outside appearance. I've never had a problem with attracting "males"! Never a shortage! But as we could see with "Mr. EXTREMELY handsome", I am not always attracting "MEN". Big difference! I would forego attracting males for the rest of my life, just to have the right MAN be attracted to me!

Anyhoo, my comment back to him? "Just like you approached me and asked for my number, another guy is going to do it again within the next 20 minutes! This is 300 lbs of "pure" chocolaty goodness! Who I am now, is who I will be later...Just in a better wrapper!" lol...

I know I've just rambled on, but what I want to get across is that you have to love yourself no matter what size you are! No man, woman or child is going to take away the love that I have for myself! I've been single for a year and a half now, and this has been the best time of my life because I'm not pouring my all into another individual. I'm working on my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Until you love yourself, how can you truly love or be loved?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love the way you think. What else did he say? It's all true you do have to love your self before others. That's also one of the reason why I need to leave my marriage I'm loving my self & my kids and I don't want someone making me feel bad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I briefly dated a guy last month that was EXTREMELY handsome. He tried to be modest about his looks' date=' but modesty was not one of his strong points. Anyway, I told him about the weight loss journey that I was about to embark and he made the stupidest comment to me. "Wow, when you lose all that weight, you're going to have to swat the guys off!" Now I know that many people would take this as a compliment, but not me! I've been every size between 8 & 20, and not once has my confidence or beauty waned! My beauty comes from within and spills over into my outside appearance. I've never had a problem with attracting "males"! Never a shortage! But as we could see with "Mr. EXTREMELY handsome", I am not always attracting "MEN". Big difference! I would forego attracting males for the rest of my life, just to have the right MAN be attracted to me!

Anyhoo, my comment back to him? "Just like you approached me and asked for my number, another guy is going to do it again within the next 20 minutes! This is 300 lbs of "pure" chocolaty goodness! Who I am now, is who I will be later...Just in a better wrapper!" lol...

I know I've just rambled on, but what I want to get across is that you have to love yourself no matter what size you are! No man, woman or child is going to take away the love that I have for myself! I've been single for a year and a half now, and this has been the best time of my life because I'm not pouring my all into another individual. I'm working on my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Until you love yourself, how can you truly love or be loved?[/quote']

Preach sistah! Lol!

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

God I love your confidence! One of my goals is to start being ok with myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I briefly dated a guy last month that was EXTREMELY handsome. He tried to be modest about his looks' date=' but modesty was not one of his strong points. Anyway, I told him about the weight loss journey that I was about to embark and he made the stupidest comment to me. "Wow, when you lose all that weight, you're going to have to swat the guys off!" Now I know that many people would take this as a compliment, but not me! I've been every size between 8 & 20, and not once has my confidence or beauty waned! My beauty comes from within and spills over into my outside appearance. I've never had a problem with attracting "males"! Never a shortage! But as we could see with "Mr. EXTREMELY handsome", I am not always attracting "MEN". Big difference! I would forego attracting males for the rest of my life, just to have the right MAN be attracted to me!

Anyhoo, my comment back to him? "Just like you approached me and asked for my number, another guy is going to do it again within the next 20 minutes! This is 300 lbs of "pure" chocolaty goodness! Who I am now, is who I will be later...Just in a better wrapper!" lol...

I know I've just rambled on, but what I want to get across is that you have to love yourself no matter what size you are! No man, woman or child is going to take away the love that I have for myself! I've been single for a year and a half now, and this has been the best time of my life because I'm not pouring my all into another individual. I'm working on my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Until you love yourself, how can you truly love or be loved?[/quote']

I like your thinking ! We feel quite the same ! Never had a problem with men, and now that I am dating this guy, he says, "damn girl , you gone be fine as hell and dodging people left and right" .. I looked at him and said, " yeah your right and as of now I am dodging you . You don't deserve me and instead of making comments about my outer appearance, you could of said that I will be slot healthier !" needless to say, this is a relationship I will not be taking a long with my journey !

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Amen!!! my husband loves me for who I am :) I am doing this for MY health and for my fertility so we can have more kids.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you ladies! I was married at the age of 19 and divorced at 28. I am now 33. He was someone that I put my "all" into and had gotten nothing in return. I lost myself in him, gained way over 100 lbs, developed panic disorder from his jealousy, and lost many friendships. For years we'd tried to have children and couldn't because my weight made me infertile. One day he just stopped coming home. He called me and told me he'd been cheating. After a week of why me's and swollen, water-tapped dry eye's, I decided to tell him we could work it out. He told me she was pregnant. After a brief "Waiting to Exhale" moment, I lost what was left of me for over 2 years. My mother was afraid for my safety. One day, I just decided it was enough. People don't recognize me today because I am a far cry from the person I was. I am now an extremely extroverted DIVA!!! I am no longer allowing anyone to take what is meant for me. My self-esteem, self-worth, is meant for MY-SELF and no one else! Last year, my ex-husband came by my house and after small talk, asked if we could date. I looked at him with the most sexiest smile I could muster and replied "I would LOVE to!". A second or two when I noticed he was extremely excited, I said, "Oh, you meant date each other....That's not gonna happen!" LOL. Petty, yes! But I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT! In that small moment, I conquered a demon. (6'2, 230, light-skinned, if you see him...RUN GIRL!!!)

I've been in a relationship since then, it didn't work. The person who've I've "graduated" into takes the time to smell the roses, and the B.S. that someone fertilizes them with. I am sooo single by choice! The one person who I haven't come up with the right thing to say to is my father. When that situation was going on with my marriage, he told me it happened because I'd gotten fat, and I needed to lose the weight and rub it in his face.....WHaaaaaat!?!?! Really dad?

Oh, and an update on the ex, they are now married with 3 children. He has a total of 5 and she has a total of 4. I heard from his family that they were having problems for a minute there because she'd left him for her first child's father.....Hey,that's what he get's for shopping at K-mart....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are a mess. I love it

Sent from my iPad using RNYTalk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love your attitude. I have been over weight most of my adult life but I've never had a self esteem problem love me for who I am or don't claim you love me at all. I am so proud of you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you ladies! I was married at the age of 19 and divorced at 28. I am now 33. He was someone that I put my "all" into and had gotten nothing in return. I lost myself in him' date=' gained way over 100 lbs, developed panic disorder from his jealousy, and lost many friendships. For years we'd tried to have children and couldn't because my weight made me infertile. One day he just stopped coming home. He called me and told me he'd been cheating. After a week of why me's and swollen, water-tapped dry eye's, I decided to tell him we could work it out. He told me she was pregnant. After a brief "Waiting to Exhale" moment, I lost what was left of me for over 2 years. My mother was afraid for my safety. One day, I just decided it was enough. People don't recognize me today because I am a far cry from the person I was. I am now an extremely extroverted DIVA!!! I am no longer allowing anyone to take what is meant for me. My self-esteem, self-worth, is meant for MY-SELF and no one else! Last year, my ex-husband came by my house and after small talk, asked if we could date. I looked at him with the most sexiest smile I could muster and replied "I would LOVE to!". A second or two when I noticed he was extremely excited, I said, "Oh, you meant date each other....That's not gonna happen!" LOL. Petty, yes! But I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT! In that small moment, I conquered a demon. (6'2, 230, light-skinned, if you see him...RUN GIRL!!!)

I've been in a relationship since then, it didn't work. The person who've I've "graduated" into takes the time to smell the roses, and the B.S. that someone fertilizes them with. I am sooo single by choice! The one person who I haven't come up with the right thing to say to is my father. When that situation was going on with my marriage, he told me it happened because I'd gotten fat, and I needed to lose the weight and rub it in his face.....WHaaaaaat!?!?! Really dad?

Oh, and an update on the ex, they are now married with 3 children. He has a total of 5 and she has a total of 4. I heard from his family that they were having problems for a minute there because she'd left him for her first child's father.....Hey,that's what he get's for shopping at K-mart....[/quote']

Hey girl read every line & love you even more. You are a strong woman & I'm mad at your dad he has some nerves. When ppl do you wrong it comes right back to you.

Your are too much laughing at "shopping at k-mart".. I would had said the dollar store LMFAO... Yeah I'm mean sometimes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×