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Pastafarians UNITE!!! Worship his noodly appendage!

Sunta

By Sunta, in Rants & Raves

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Sunta    4

Sunta
Posted

If you don't believe in the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, you will be damned!!!

Through his noodly appendage, ALL things are possible!

I am here to SPREAD THE WORD of his noodly goodness!

EXCERPT from the Church Website:

We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

...

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

piratesarecool4.jpg

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BJean    16

BJean
Posted

Oh geez. I'm so glad you explained all that. I've been wondering for the longest time why your signature line had reference to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I knew it had something to do with religion but I couldn't find the reference to prove it.

Thank goodness that you have revealed the REAL TRUTH about how humans came into being. And you can prove it! That's the best part!

I hope you are still fortunate enough to find some unsuspecting souls to jump in and debate this subject with you, because you have so much proof!

This is gonna be fun to watch. I just hope that no one accuses you of attacking them through the use of freshly slung spaghetti sauce.

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BJean    16

BJean
Posted

Oops, I almost forgot--God Bless.

I say that because God likes it when I command him to bestow his blessings at my bidding.

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BJean    16

BJean
Posted

Serious! Great observation. I wouldn't want to have to spend the time to take Sunta to task on her spelling! In some threads, that could develop into a person's life's work.

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Tired_Old_Man    1

Tired_Old_Man
Posted

T_O_M: That may be true, but that doesn't make it incorrect. Them guys at South Park is geniuses.
I didn't say it was incorrect, I just wanted credit given to the boys over at South Park.:D

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Sunta    4

Sunta
Posted

As you know, South Park makes fun of many religions, and pastafarianism/Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is no exception. It's outrageous that anyone would even question the absolute truth of FSM, and to do so is blasphemy!!! Blasphemy I say!

I am here to spread the living WORD of FSM and to warn all who don't believe that they are on the WRONG PATH!!!

It's up to YOU to ACCEPT of REJECT FSM. Find out for yourself! Have you done you homework? Or are you simply dismissing FSM out of hand without doing your research???

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