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So, I'm getting sleeved on the 22 of this month. My husband is now analyzing everything I say since telling him the surgery date.

Last night we watched restaurant commercial...and I said that before I go in on the 22nd, I'd like to go have a full meal there because afterwords, it just won't make sense for me to even do take out. I'd have two bites and be full.

He turns and says..."sounds like your breaking up with an old friend.."

I had to contain laughter, I was honestly pretty amused by him saying that. I told him he was reading too much into what I said.

Anyone else dealing with a clueless spouse that thinks their being helpful but just aren't?!

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Well ... hate to say it, but in a way, he is absolutely correct. He may be a little more clued in than you think, or are willing to admit.

Why don't you think you will be able to go out afterwards? I go out to dinner all the time. Went to a restaurant the day after surgery, as a matter of fact. Had the broth from French Onion Soup. When I go out with my wife now, we split a meal and usually have a doggy bag.

You will still be able to do the things you used to do. Your breakup from restaurants won't last long.

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I was sleeved on 9/11. My husband has been beyond supportive of me.

--That being said, he has no clue. But, I realize now that he may NEVER really understand lol

If you think about it, this surgery is extremely complicated and takes over every aspect of your life, and for someone not going through it...how can they truly understand??? I don't even understand some of the time and I went through it lol

Love your spouse, and know they are just looking out for you. They want to see you succeed and be happy and healthy. These boards are helping me tremendously with relating to others. I'd say if you want understanding...you're stuck with Internet boards unless you go to support groups. Best of luck on your surgery next week.

And P.S. I went to a few of my fave. restaurants before surgery as well ;)

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When I first started down this path and talked to my husband about my inability to lose weight, he made some statements about just going to the gym and pushing yourself away from the table.

One day we were walking and he said, "You know you never see a fat roofer." I was like, "Yep, I've never seen a fat window washer or rodeo clown either, what's your point?"

After many discussions and his own research, he now understands that it's more than just going to the gym and pushing myself away from the table. I can't diet and go to the gym enough to lose this weight and if I did, it would not be unsustainable.

I think it's a lot of about education...

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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