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Work Dinner- 3 weeks Post-op- Yikes!



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I have a small problem, and while in theory it's a great problem to have, if anyone has any thoughts I would appreciate it.

I have worked for a company for the past 10 years and I have been blessed with an opportunity to move on- my last day is next week. I have a really amazing boss who is taking our entire office out to dinner this Friday to Celebrate my time with the business. The dinner is at a very, very nice steakhouse and there will be an expectation of at least a little bit of alcohol consumption. So outside of the fact that I'm a little concerned about not being able to eat much, there is also the wine issue. I've never been a big drinker, but I feel like it's rude to not at least take a few sips and to heartily enjoy what will likely be a very expensive meal.

Also...no one at work has any idea I had this surgery and I am currently at 3.5 weeks post-op. My three best friends are aware that I've had it (none of these people work with me), but past that I have no intention of anyone else ever finding out.

I don't want to appear unappreciative or ungrateful, but there is no way that I would tell anyone at work the real reason why I can't eat and drink. Also, while I feel comfortable with what I can and cannot nibble on, I have not had any alcohol since surgery and before that I was already kind of a lightweight. Will a sip or five of wine be ok or is this one of those things (like chicken and bread for me) that is going to make me instantly sick?

Any thoughts you all have on this would be appreciated.

Thank-you!

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The wine will probably make you feel sick so early on post-op and be very irritating to your stomach. I think you should inform your boss, or whoever is the host of the dinner, that you can't eat very much and can only have a sip or two of wine. Telling him or her why is up to you. I definitely couldn't eat steak at three weeks out and still have trouble with it at 7 months post op. You can probably eat a little Soup at the dinner and maybe shrimp or a little fish but be very careful or you might get the slimes which would be very embarrassing. Good luck!

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I would avoid wine or any kind of alcohol entirely. If anyone looks at you funny just say, "sorry, I can't drink right now, doctor's orders!" Unless your boss and co-workers were raised by wolves, they'll respect that and let it drop. If you have a great time and are friendly and happy with everyone, they aren't going to think you are being rude or ungrateful.

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If I were in your position, I would not make an issue, raise your glass when the times comes to give you the toast and then put the glass up to your lips, and pretend to take a sip :-D good luck! !

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The task is to enjoy and appreciate! Do not drink: alcohol will affect you much more potently with the sleeve. You might have to fake it, or find a potted plant like in the movies. Other ideas: eat before you go, clear broth Soup, cut up your food and push it around your plate, or how about just going around the table like a bride and chat/reminisce with each person, then have them box up your dinner?

Congratulations! Let us know how you did!

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I'd fake it. Order Soup or fish for your meal and push the food around your plate, lift the glass to your lips and be merry. Doubt anyone will notice. Enjoy the evening!

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Thank-you everyone for the suggestions! I think I'll probably just fake it and hope that everyone else is having too much fun to notice my lack of food and beverage, lol. Fingers crossed that tomorrow goes well!

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you could always say you're on antibiotics for the reason why you can't drink if you're not comfortable with telling people about the surgery. and then just order softer foods like fish.

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Ahhhh...antibiotics is a great reason! I actually have a tooth issue that they all know about and they all know I am legitimately on antibiotics in preparation for a root canal (joy). I forgot that you're not supposed to drink when you're taking them.

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Since there will be toasting, you need something in your hand ...Ask the bartender to fix a still Water with a twist of lime or lemon for you

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How did it go?

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It went well, thankfully. :) I had a few nibbles of everything and a few sips of champagne. I skipped the first selection of wine, so the waiter took my glass which really worked out well. My boss did ask why if I wasn't hungry and I used the antibiotic excuse, in that I wasn't sure how drinking and food would affect my stomach since I seemed to be a little sensitive to the antibiotics. Everyone knew I was on antibiotics for my tooth, so it worked out great. I also made my half a glass of champagne last the entire night so I was able to toast to everything without actually drinking anything.

In the end I had a few bites of appetizer, a few pieces of Pasta, a few bites of salmon, and about a spoon of creme brulee. I felt a bit sick after dessert, but nothing unmanageable. I was very relieved to know I can pass myself off as eating like an almost-normal person in public even at only a few weeks post-op.

Thank-you to everyone for your suggestions- it was much appreciated!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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