Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Best and worst "compliments"



Recommended Posts

I do my best to listen to the TONE instead of the WORDS that are being said. A friend who says excitedly, "You are shrinking down to nothing!!" with a smile and a hug means something much differently than a "friend" who says, "You are shrinking down to nothing" with a bit of a sneer and a sideways eyeball.

I also know that I take things differently from people who I don't care much for than I do from people I love. I know I brace myself for insults from people who never have nothing nice to say and even when they do, I may hear it differently than they intend.

We can't control what other people say or do, but we can totally control how we react. I am choosing to take every word as a great compliment because I am riding high on excitement with my emerging new self and NO ONE can take that away from me. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rudest: wow you lost all that weight and it found me. (Yes I am now responsible for others weight gain)

I have to say that it's my opinion that you are totally overreacting on this one. I HIGHLY doubt anyone is stupid enough to think you are RESPONSIBLE for their weight gain. (Well, my husband might blame me a bit because after my three bite, I put my leftovers on his plate. HA!)

I think this is a way of complimenting YOU while putting themselves down. I can't imagine they think your fat particles are flying through the air and landing on them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Best compliment has come from my niece, a very tall, model-thin and beautiful young woman who said "wow! You're almost as skinny as me!"

My Mom, who is the queen of the left-handed compliment said to me, when I was about 3 months post-op, "well, I guess it looks like you've lost a little weight." I always have to remind myself that she's 83, has no filter and means no harm.

The worst for me is when people I think would have encouraging words, like the trainers at the gym, say nothing at all.

pre-surgery weight 325; surgery date 2/28/2013; surgery weight 307; 8 weeks past-op weight 281.4; 12 weeks post-op 274; 4 month post-op 266.2; 5 month post-op 262.6; 6 month post-op 253.2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Best: "wow where is the rest of you!"

Worst: "you know after losing all that weight your going to have tons of extra skin"

Weirdest/awkward: my friend said to her husband "look how much weight Jess lost!!" he looks me up and down and smiles at me and my friend said "wait, did you just check out my best friend!?" Lol!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Now THAT one deserves a punch to the junk.

Yup! Good thing my kid was there or I probably would have flew off the handle lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a very nice compliment from my brother in law, he just said hey your looking skinnier! , and then my wonderful manager at work, she asks me just about everyday, soooo how much have you lost, well I'm working on my second stall already and I don't need to be reminded of it!!! I think the most simple compliments are the best

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to say that it's my opinion that you are totally overreacting on this one. I HIGHLY doubt anyone is stupid enough to think you are RESPONSIBLE for their weight gain. (Well' date=' my husband might blame me a bit because after my three bite, I put my leftovers on his plate. HA!)

I think this is a way of complimenting YOU while putting themselves down. I can't imagine they think your fat particles are flying through the air and landing on them.[/quote']

And you're right about consider the source because it happened to come from someone I don't care for, and also who is very skinny herself so has no extra weight. But you are correct, if anyone else said that I wouldn't have given it a second thought.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to say that it's my opinion that you are totally overreacting on this one. I HIGHLY doubt anyone is stupid enough to think you are RESPONSIBLE for their weight gain. (Well' date=' my husband might blame me a bit because after my three bite, I put my leftovers on his plate. HA!)

I think this is a way of complimenting YOU while putting themselves down. I can't imagine they think your fat particles are flying through the air and landing on them.[/quote']

You're correct about considering the source. This one came from someone who I don't really like and also came from someone who's a size 2 so the compliment seems kind of weird. But I'm sure it would have been appreciated had it come from someone else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And you're right about consider the source because it happened to come from someone I don't care for' date=' and also who is very skinny herself so has no extra weight. But you are correct, if anyone else said that I wouldn't have given it a second thought.[/quote']

Sorry for the repeat lipstick my phone timed out

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Best: "wow where is the rest of you!"

Worst: "you know after losing all that weight your going to have tons of extra skin"

Weirdest/awkward: my friend said to her husband "look how much weight Jess lost!!" he looks me up and down and smiles at me and my friend said "wait' date=' did you just check out my best friend!?" Lol![/quote']

Ouch! But funny about your friends husband! So cute!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got called a skinny b***h last week. I took it as a compliment!

Love it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't had my surgery yet' date=' but I am in nov with a girlfriend of mine. We were talking about it to another friend of ours who is currently on another diet and she said, "so what, am I the only one that's going to donut the hard way?" We easily have over 100lbs on her. I love her, but that posses me off.[/quote']

This is definitely not the easy way!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a great thread.. Here in the UK' date=' people seem so reserved to just say.. Wow you've lost weight so what they say is 'wow, you look well!!' At first it annoyed me they couldn't just acknowledge my weightloss.. Hey I know I was super fat before.. But now I'm getting used to it, and take it as the compliment it was meant to be! I'm far from skinny and still have at least 100lbs to loose but one of my friends called me 'skinny mini' that was a massive compliment. Other compliments that spur me on are just generally how I'm looking healthier, smaller, half my size.. And then the encouragement to keep going!! Weirdest comment was my dad.. Cringe.. You've lost your boobs!! Yes dad, I know they were enormous but just keep the thought to yourself!! Happy Monday all <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />[/quote']

Haha about your Dad! I love the nice simple general compliments too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh man. I just said this a few months ago to someone intending to compliment her. Sigh.

No it's probably just me being over sensitive because I didn't like the person who said it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×