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Best and worst "compliments"

Healthier2day1227

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LipstickLady    25,682

LipstickLady
Posted

I do my best to listen to the TONE instead of the WORDS that are being said. A friend who says excitedly, "You are shrinking down to nothing!!" with a smile and a hug means something much differently than a "friend" who says, "You are shrinking down to nothing" with a bit of a sneer and a sideways eyeball.

I also know that I take things differently from people who I don't care much for than I do from people I love. I know I brace myself for insults from people who never have nothing nice to say and even when they do, I may hear it differently than they intend.

We can't control what other people say or do, but we can totally control how we react. I am choosing to take every word as a great compliment because I am riding high on excitement with my emerging new self and NO ONE can take that away from me. :D

back2barb78, jensjoy28, Carmen1963 and 12 others reacted to this

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LipstickLady    25,682

LipstickLady
Posted

Rudest: wow you lost all that weight and it found me. (Yes I am now responsible for others weight gain)

I have to say that it's my opinion that you are totally overreacting on this one. I HIGHLY doubt anyone is stupid enough to think you are RESPONSIBLE for their weight gain. (Well, my husband might blame me a bit because after my three bite, I put my leftovers on his plate. HA!)

I think this is a way of complimenting YOU while putting themselves down. I can't imagine they think your fat particles are flying through the air and landing on them.

bonniefide, NJ mom of 4, kwigillingok and 4 others reacted to this

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Chelenka    827

Chelenka
Posted

Best compliment has come from my niece, a very tall, model-thin and beautiful young woman who said "wow! You're almost as skinny as me!"

My Mom, who is the queen of the left-handed compliment said to me, when I was about 3 months post-op, "well, I guess it looks like you've lost a little weight." I always have to remind myself that she's 83, has no filter and means no harm.

The worst for me is when people I think would have encouraging words, like the trainers at the gym, say nothing at all.

pre-surgery weight 325; surgery date 2/28/2013; surgery weight 307; 8 weeks past-op weight 281.4; 12 weeks post-op 274; 4 month post-op 266.2; 5 month post-op 262.6; 6 month post-op 253.2

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JessicaAnn    564

JessicaAnn
Posted

Best: "wow where is the rest of you!"

Worst: "you know after losing all that weight your going to have tons of extra skin"

Weirdest/awkward: my friend said to her husband "look how much weight Jess lost!!" he looks me up and down and smiles at me and my friend said "wait, did you just check out my best friend!?" Lol!

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JessicaAnn    564

JessicaAnn
Posted

Now THAT one deserves a punch to the junk.

Yup! Good thing my kid was there or I probably would have flew off the handle lol

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adargie    159

adargie
Posted

I had a very nice compliment from my brother in law, he just said hey your looking skinnier! , and then my wonderful manager at work, she asks me just about everyday, soooo how much have you lost, well I'm working on my second stall already and I don't need to be reminded of it!!! I think the most simple compliments are the best

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Healthier2day1227    326

Healthier2day1227
Posted

I have to say that it's my opinion that you are totally overreacting on this one. I HIGHLY doubt anyone is stupid enough to think you are RESPONSIBLE for their weight gain. (Well' date=' my husband might blame me a bit because after my three bite, I put my leftovers on his plate. HA!)

I think this is a way of complimenting YOU while putting themselves down. I can't imagine they think your fat particles are flying through the air and landing on them.[/quote']

And you're right about consider the source because it happened to come from someone I don't care for, and also who is very skinny herself so has no extra weight. But you are correct, if anyone else said that I wouldn't have given it a second thought.

NJ mom of 4 and LipstickLady reacted to this

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Healthier2day1227    326

Healthier2day1227
Posted

I have to say that it's my opinion that you are totally overreacting on this one. I HIGHLY doubt anyone is stupid enough to think you are RESPONSIBLE for their weight gain. (Well' date=' my husband might blame me a bit because after my three bite, I put my leftovers on his plate. HA!)

I think this is a way of complimenting YOU while putting themselves down. I can't imagine they think your fat particles are flying through the air and landing on them.[/quote']

You're correct about considering the source. This one came from someone who I don't really like and also came from someone who's a size 2 so the compliment seems kind of weird. But I'm sure it would have been appreciated had it come from someone else.

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Healthier2day1227    326

Healthier2day1227
Posted

And you're right about consider the source because it happened to come from someone I don't care for' date=' and also who is very skinny herself so has no extra weight. But you are correct, if anyone else said that I wouldn't have given it a second thought.[/quote']

Sorry for the repeat lipstick my phone timed out

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Healthier2day1227    326

Healthier2day1227
Posted

Best: "wow where is the rest of you!"

Worst: "you know after losing all that weight your going to have tons of extra skin"

Weirdest/awkward: my friend said to her husband "look how much weight Jess lost!!" he looks me up and down and smiles at me and my friend said "wait' date=' did you just check out my best friend!?" Lol![/quote']

Ouch! But funny about your friends husband! So cute!

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Healthier2day1227    326

Healthier2day1227
Posted

I got called a skinny b***h last week. I took it as a compliment!

Love it!

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Healthier2day1227    326

Healthier2day1227
Posted

I haven't had my surgery yet' date=' but I am in nov with a girlfriend of mine. We were talking about it to another friend of ours who is currently on another diet and she said, "so what, am I the only one that's going to donut the hard way?" We easily have over 100lbs on her. I love her, but that posses me off.[/quote']

This is definitely not the easy way!

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Healthier2day1227    326

Healthier2day1227
Posted

This is a great thread.. Here in the UK' date=' people seem so reserved to just say.. Wow you've lost weight so what they say is 'wow, you look well!!' At first it annoyed me they couldn't just acknowledge my weightloss.. Hey I know I was super fat before.. But now I'm getting used to it, and take it as the compliment it was meant to be! I'm far from skinny and still have at least 100lbs to loose but one of my friends called me 'skinny mini' that was a massive compliment. Other compliments that spur me on are just generally how I'm looking healthier, smaller, half my size.. And then the encouragement to keep going!! Weirdest comment was my dad.. Cringe.. You've lost your boobs!! Yes dad, I know they were enormous but just keep the thought to yourself!! Happy Monday all <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />[/quote']

Haha about your Dad! I love the nice simple general compliments too.

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Healthier2day1227    326

Healthier2day1227
Posted

Oh man. I just said this a few months ago to someone intending to compliment her. Sigh.

No it's probably just me being over sensitive because I didn't like the person who said it.

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