Lower Body Lift Fun!

[kareyquilts 1]

Thanks for information. You are really doing well. Let me know how you like the spa treatments. Best wishes!

[kyethra 0]

what sort of frame do you have puddin? I guess if you are small or medium frame 140 would be ok (but not lower-- getting close on medium). But if you have a large frame than 140 probably isn't enough and 150 would be better esp since you probably have a lot of muscle mass and you are so physically active.

You don't want to get too thin! Thats even worse than being a little overweight as far as looks go- or so I think. Guys like women with some curves. If you become all skin and bones you'll have trouble with energy maybe and other problems.

My ideal weight is somewhere between 150 and 180 I think and you have an inch on me!

[puddin 7]

Kyethra

I'm medium-large frame. My dad has very broad shoulders and I inherited them. So broad-shouldered, but the rest of me is about medium. I'm tall, at 5'9". It's possible that 140 is too small, but in looking at pictures of myself, I think I could stand to lose around 20 pounds. People look at me funny when I tell them that (usually when they ask if I'm all "done" losing weight). Most of them say, "Where will you lose the 20 pounds???" So perhaps what I'll do is let my body decide where it wants to be. If I find that my energy levels decrease at a certain weight, I'll bring it back up again. I'll do a little energy inventory in about 10 pounds, how does that sound? I truly just want to be at optimal fitness level. It's very important to me to be able to be competitive at my sports.

I do think, though, that with your large frame at 5'8", 150-180 is definitely ideal. I always thought when I was 300+ pounds that I'd want to stop at like 185. Perhaps that's because I was around that weight in junior high/high school and was okay with it. Funny how what I used to be okay with isn't okay with me any more.

Okay, I'm going to wax therapist on you guys again. I apologize. I've been introspective lately and you guys have to pay the price for it. Heck, even my triathlon blog has become my friggin online diary. But I digress... I see patterns in this board, patterns I see in myself: We are obsessed, focused people. Maybe not all of us, but I see this pattern in a lot of us. We become very focused on something, such as eating, and we can't get it out of our heads. It's a lack of moderation, in a sense, that we sort of embrace. In my case, the lack of moderation comes in the form, now, of exercise and self-beautification. It seems to be my goal in life these days to turn the heads of all men, and then totally ignore them. WHY??? What am I trying to validate in doing that? I'll tell ya what: I'm trying to validate that I am actually attractive to men. My entire life was spent as the fat, funny, happy-go-lucky girl. No man wanted that. And it seems like I've been using men lately, too. I'll get the good-looking guy that would have never taken a second look at me before, use him, and then never respond to his calls.

So my new Quest, people of bandland, is to be the best ME that I can be - and be totally happy with it. It's funny to relate, but I reached that enlightenment about 3 days ago. My sister says that if you reach total enlightenment, beer shoots right out your nose. LOL. I don't feel the need to date the hottest guy I can spot now. Believe it or not, this is a huge step for me. I sorta stopped grieving for that lost, dysfunctional, crazy sexual relationship I had with the man who broke my heart for the 'better looking' woman. It's as if I was turning around and doing exatly what he did to me. But I think it's out of my system now, and I feel terribly for having used these men. I tried to get them to fall so hard for me just so I could say sianara.

Alright, back to my point: At what point do we learn moderation? How does one learn moderation? Are there moderation exercises out there? I've been doing NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) lately, and that's helped with many things, like getting over this guy and truly believing that I don't need a good looking man to validate me. But can NLP teach you moderation? I'm afraid that I'd become obsessed with NLP in that quest for moderation! In many respects, the lack of moderation has proved to be worth a lot to me. There are things that I'm very good at, as I suspect there are some very, very talented people on this board. Comes with the focus. So how do we learn moderation while still focusing on our goals, just not with crazy tenactiy?

Okay, I'm done introspecting on you. Anyone have comments on this or am I just spitballing?

[CP-Mike 0]

In my case, the lack of moderation comes in the form, now, of exercise and self-beautification. It seems to be my goal in life these days to turn the heads of all men, and then totally ignore them. WHY??? What am I trying to validate in doing that? I'll tell ya what: I'm trying to validate that I am actually attractive to men. My entire life was spent as the fat, funny, happy-go-lucky girl. No man wanted that. And it seems like I've been using men lately, too. I'll get the good-looking guy that would have never taken a second look at me before, use him, and then never respond to his calls.

[snip]

Alright, back to my point: At what point do we learn moderation? How does one learn moderation? Are there moderation exercises out there? I've been doing NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) lately, and that's helped with many things, like getting over this guy and truly believing that I don't need a good looking man to validate me. But can NLP teach you moderation? I'm afraid that I'd become obsessed with NLP in that Quest for moderation! In many respects, the lack of moderation has proved to be worth a lot to me. There are things that I'm very good at, as I suspect there are some very, very talented people on this board. Comes with the focus. So how do we learn moderation while still focusing on our goals, just not with crazy tenactiy?

Okay, I'm done introspecting on you. Anyone have comments on this or am I just spitballing?

Puddin,

Great post and I wonder if it might really be a great new thread to start!

I have often wondered what I would do if I could "snap my fingers and be smoking hot".. I too have always been the "big guy" in the bunch and "just like a big brother" on the dating scene. I can certainly understand the desire to be flirted with and just smile and walk away. That will be my only option now as a married man, but it'll still be fun if it happens.

I have a great wife who also recently was banded, and honestly I think she is going to start seeing a lot more attention. She disagrees as she already gets flirted with, ring and all, lol. As long as no one is crude, I am fine with it. We are both big flirts anyway.

As for using the super-hot guys and sending them packing, at the risk of being crude... BRAVO on you.. Having always been heavy too it's easy to see how pathetic and shallow so many people are, they reap what they sow. The challenge for you will be turning that on and off. You might just find that good looking guy that really is a great catch.

I don't know about you, but I have found that over the years I've developed perhaps a 6th sense about people by just looking into their eyes. I've seen such inner beauty hidden in overweight bodies. It's really cool to look around the pictures on this site because you can just see it. All sorts of great people finally shedding the weight and letting the inner beauty out.

Let us know how all the NLP work goes. It might well be something that many of us could benefit from.

[kareyquilts 1]

Puddin: I love it when you get introspective. Moderation is probably the key to a happy life and something that all of us need to learn. I don't think there is a secret to it. If there is, I hope someone will share it with us. I'm totally obsessed with losing weight right now and quickly becoming obsessed with exercise. I guess that these are good obsessions.I've been thinking lately that it would be good if I could relax a little more about food. Not relax in the sense that I would start eating a lot of sugar or carbs, but just relax when I feel hungry and know that the hunger will go away, or just relax when I am eating and enjoy the experience instead of worrying that every bite but be one to many. Does that make sense? If we could have more moderate personalities than moderation would probably be easier in every way. I am trying to remember to breath and slow down. When I'm stressed, I'm working on relaxing my whole body and mind. Taking a moment to focus and put things in perspectivie. Maybe this will help with relaxation. Your self awareness of your behaviors should certainly help, also. We have to find a way to give ourselves a break and be kind to ourselves, allowing or giving ourselves permission to make mistakes now and then. Life is not a win or lose propisition, but a learning experience. I hope this makes sense. I'm just thinking and reacting to your comments. You're a great gal and good things (and probably some bad things) are coming your way. It's earth life or as they say, "We are spiritual beings having an earthly experience."

[puddin 7]

Taking a moment to focus and put things in perspectivie. Maybe this will help with relaxation. Your self awareness of your behaviors should certainly help, also. We have to find a way to give ourselves a break and be kind to ourselves, allowing or giving ourselves permission to make mistakes now and then. Life is not a win or lose propisition, but a learning experience. I hope this makes sense. I'm just thinking and reacting to your comments. You're a great gal and good things (and probably some bad things) are coming your way. It's earth life or as they say, "We are spiritual beings having an earthly experience."

I heard that quote at institute last Thursday! Our problem is that the flesh is weak. You're right about perspective. I lose that. Sundays are the absolute worst for me and I really don't know why. I get a little sad on Sundays for some reason. Sad that I'm still alone here. Knowing that we had talked about getting married in March, and now March is here and no wedding and no man. I need to be patient! It has been a whopping 2 months. I need to remember that. So much has happened so quickly - for a lot of us! Keeping perspective is a great key to this moderation business. You helped me today, girl. Thanks!

[kyethra 0]

I'm sort of strange-- or rather, I'm not normal. I have Aspergers and stuff so I tend to think differently than the average girl. BTW though I do like NLP I first discovered it years ago and it was one of the few self help books I actually found useful. As far as other methods of therapy go I also really like REBT or rational emotive behavior therapy. Its similar to CBT or cognitive behavior therapy but they really are different. I like REBT different. One of my last classes that I took as an undergrad (my BS is in psych) was in therapy methods. And in it I learned that people in a CBT program can lose weight with it. But within six months of the completion of the program most of the people gain the weight back. Therapy tends to be very helpful for a surprising variety of conditions but weight and stuff- it can be trickier than depression. Much more so. So thats why things like the band are so sucessfull. But of course there are psychological issues involved too. How can there not be with any major body change and behavior change?

Some people go through phases or things. Some girls go through stages where they have flings (and guys too). Some prefer one night stands. Others its a series of small non serious relationships. Then they usually seem to get more mature and move on to healthier relationship patterns. Now that doesn't mean I advocate doing these things. And I certainly don't advocate doing anythign foolish risky or regrettable.

But if you need to date the cut guys now then date the cute guys. Just don't forget about the not so hot ones when you get that out of your system. Or if one of the cute ones if a potential Mr right careful not to send him packing too...

I hear good things about meditation. Personally I like my spider solitaire and majong for that purpose. Not sure if it counts... But either way its all good.

[MysticstarD 0]

Oprahs show is about weight loss surgery and what happens emotionally after.

[puddin 7]

Did anybody catch that Oprah show? I missed it! I think I replaced food addiction with exercise and sex.

Anyhow, here's a Before/After that my lower-body-lift doc took yesterday. Oh, by the way, this is 8 weeks post-op. I was a size 12 before and a size 8 now:

[lizrbit 0]

holy cow!!!

I WANT ONE! seriously? keep in touch with me, i want to go through your surgeon!

[lizrbit 0]

and i want to replace something...anything...with sex!!!

hahahaha

i jest, but seriously...

[8675309 0]

You look fabulous.

[GK2 0]

Puddin, your results look great. I also notice that you cant even see your scars from your lapband surgery. Did you do anything special? I am 3 months post op and although mine are not large they are still a bit red. If you did not do anything special how long did your scars take to lighten up? Thanks!

[ShineOn 0]

Puddin,

You are such an inspiration. Congratulations on your transformation. You look fantastic. You should be the LapBand poster girl! :-)

[puddin 7]

and i want to replace something...anything...with sex!!!

hahahaha

i jest, but seriously...

HA! It's becoming a serious problem, to be honest with you, because I'm not married. You don't want the sex addiction. It's causing a lot of internal torment. But Jacques (one of the new guys I'm dating) says whoever I marry will be one happy man because of my crazy animal drive LOL! I'm convinced it's not about low self-esteem any more. It's just about the pure physical desire for it 24/7! I knew that focused personality would come in handy one day.

Puddin, your results look great. I also notice that you cant even see your scars from your lapband surgery. Did you do anything special? I am 3 months post op and although mine are not large they are still a bit red. If you did not do anything special how long did your scars take to lighten up? Thanks!

I did nothing special. A couple of the scars were taken out during the Tummy Tuck, but the others have really faded. Took about a year for them to fade somewhat. I'm not concerned about it. I'm not going topless or wearing a bikini anyway.