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What to do with the negAtive nellies and Nay sayers



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It is amazing how everyone has an opinion on weight loss surgery. At the same time, a large portion of the population (that is not overweight) will look down on or ridicule those of us who are. It is one of the last acceptable forms of discrimination. I have been extremely fortunate in the fact that everyone I have told about this has been positive and supportive. ( except one person and she is a hateful person in general-lol) I have also shared with my Facebook friends, and I haven't had any negative responses yet. I am sure there are those who worry about it. But the people who know me know the struggles I have faced due to my weight. They all know losing the weight is my best option and if this is how it happens, well so be it. I am very educated on the sleeve and everything that it entails. The whole reason I joined this website was to get "insider information", to hear it from those who really know. Yes, there will be those who are against WLS for no really good reason. You will never be able to change their minds. At the same time do NOT allow them to change yours! If you know this is what is right for you, then follow your heart. It is your body and your life. And as I have said before...I wish all of us a healthy and happy future!

I love your comment about it being the last form of acceptable discrimination I dont beleive that will ever change. If more people would just stop and think about putting themselves in someone elses shoes the world would be a much better place. There are those that do but most do not!

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There is always going to be someone who has that mind set. I had my fair share. But when we come to this decision it's typically been well thought out . I know me for example I tried EVERYTHING under the sun with multiple doctors, to b-12 shots, to Water pills, to medical supervised diets. Nothing worked...it wasn't my thyroid... food was killing me.. and I can either let it continue to steal my life away from me or do something that would be permanent. Something that would MAKE me change my ways. Something that when I wanted to give up and binge...I couldn't because it won't allow me to. A tool that I need in my life to save me from myself. So let them say what they need say. But remind them that this is your choice and you are choosing to do what you feel is best. People are quick to judge us and tell us what they think is best for us. Hard to have a fulfilling life when you feel trapped and limited to your body. Carrying all that weight on your body is not a better alternative because that leads to just as scary stuff if not worse. Good luck and stay strong and focused on your choices :)

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I also have a few people close to me who don't understand what or why I'm doing this. I'm on day 11 of my pre-op diet ( My Dr's is Protein Shakes and non-starchy veggies only) I've lost 10 lbs so far. One relative says, "Why don't you just keep doing what you're doing?" I just laugh.

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I am so thankful for each response! It is MY choice! Y'all are the best! Have a great day!

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I have had my Mum try to talk me out of it because she was uninformed and just scared really. I explained the surgery and made her somewhat more comfortable with the idea.

Annoyingly however, I have had a few people ask if I will be able to stick with the eating plan afterwards. That basically makes me feel like they doubt me even before I've had the surgery. :( I try not to let them get me down but it's difficult!

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There are certainly those who worry about our having the surgery because they fear for us. There's another group that worry that it will affect our relationship with them in a negative way (usually the spouse).

The last group are those who have taken a secret comfort in the fact that we're fatter than them and don't want that to change. Some don't even realise it. I would imagine that sometimes it forces others to confront their own fear and procrastination about their own health when they see a friend or family member take this step.

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I have told my mom, sister, a couple of my coworkers but that's it. I don't plan on telling that many. I dread telling my dad because he is against it 100% but he fusses about a lot and very old fashioned so I don't let it bother me. I don't want to tell him, and won't until the last minute (bc he's my boss and I live with him too).

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I'm not telling anyone but you all out there (who get it), my god, and the angels that get me through each day.

Everyone else and their opinions can suck it.

I'm tired of living my life for other people.

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Do you have any co morbidities? I had 3, and I led every conversation with those 3. The one that was the most effective was the fact that due to my out of control diabetes, I was losing the feeling in my feet and was in danger of losing them in a few years if I didn't do something now. That usually shut up any naysayers.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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