upset Melt Down!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Last night was my first melt down since I had this surgery.....I told my husband I did not want to do this anymore...I felt so under pressure this past week.....4 times I went places that have dealt with me as a customer and no one recognized me...It was fun the first couple of times but then it started to get annoying.

Then I was in a shop with my daughter and she lost me, I was almost standing right in front of her and she did not recognize me....

This past week, my daughter would not stop staring at me....She kept making comments about how proud she is of me....That's okay....But everyone watched how much I ate and watched me eat....I was made to try on clothes which I hate doing and found that some of them I can't wear because I missed them..oops...

My husband said oh, I can't believe you ate that much fish..Would not have thought you could fit it in your sleeve.....I looked at him and asked if he thought I was eating too much...He said no..I am just surprised!....This set me off....As that night I decided I was only eating fish for dinner.< /p>

Last night I told him that the pressure is getting too much that people who are supporting me are smothering me and watching everything I do!

This is all strange to me as well as it is for them....I am not used to becoming a smaller me.....

I just want to do this for me and it is like what ever they say or do is driving me up the wall......

[elisa123 31]

thats really interesting > I am wondering if that is how im going to feel. I haven't told anyone except my husband and kids. I told everyone else I am going on a medifast diet.When I had the band I didn't tell anyone and it didn't work for me. I am afraid the sleeve wont work so I haven't told anyone because they will watch everything too. I go in tomorrow for the sleeve!

[TES 858]

These all sound like good things to me! Maybe your head is just having trouble catching up with your body? Have you gone to any counseling or support group. Hang in there--and congratulations on your success.

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

It's definitely hard feeling like you're under a microscope all the time! Perhaps when you're not in meltdown mode you could let hubby and daughter know that though you appreciate all their support, sometimes it would be better if they just left comments in their head

[No game 14,436]

Wow I can relate to everyone being in your business about what you eat.. At first it was how much have you lost now EVERYDAY!

But know its stuff like OMG you just ate the whole thing! Yes I measured out 4oz of chicken and a cup of salad and I ate it all kill me.

I'm sorry, but yes I can eat a whole banana.

I know what I'm doing.

I even had a friend tell me while I was eating sashimi "shouldn't you slow down?"

[Brighteyes 237]

I had huge issues before when I lost weight that stemmed from a previous trauma. Any comments about my weight, well intentioned as they might be, would send me into a tailspin and I would completely sabotage my efforts. The best thing I ever did for myself was to start seeing a therapist who does EMDR therapy. It worked wonders to help me with my anxiety and cope better itch these kinds of situations. Maybe consider therapy just to help you through this patch and find a way to communicate with your family a little better. Don't be so hard on yourself either and maybe set some boundaries between you and your family. Hope things get better for you!

[NoneYa 380]

Although I am by no means where you are I can easily see why you would feel the way you do. People don't mean to hurt or upset you but that doesn't take away from the fact that they have.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Thank you for all your comments...I am in therapy.....For the real reasons I became addicted to food.....This was out of the ordinary for me......I looked up at the dinner table and everyone was watching me eat my dinner.....They were not eating theirs....It made me feel like I did something wrong.....My hubby sees every inch or lb gone and my daughter is beside herself with pride in me..

Like the person said before.....What if I screw this up like so many other things in my life......I just get really scared!!!!!!!!

[NoneYa 380]

You won't screw it up.