Mediocrity and Teenagers

[bitteroldhag 0]

I had my first classes today and was doing my usual pep rally about success. I usually have them repeat the word "success" three times. This one kid wouldn't join in, so I asked him if wanted to be a success, and he said he'd rather be mediocre. This is the 2nd student who has preferred mediocrity this year. The first one flunked my course so he's well on the road to mediocrity, but I'm wondering if those of you who are in touch with teenagers outside the classroom have heard them mention that they want to be mediocre. Is this some sort of pessimistic new fad? Inquiring minds want to know.

[GayleTX 1]

As a counselor, I have witnessed a lot of that - only I call it "fear of success." It's frightening to be successful and to be outstanding when you've never been anywhere near there - it's way out of your comfort zone! And if people find out you are capable of performing at a high level, then they expect it of you all the time.....bummer!!

Fear of success is complicated and harder to deal with than fear of failure. It's probably one of the things that keeps us from losing weight as certain times of our lives....and the reason many of us regain the weight we've lost.

[anonemouse 1]

I think that it has been around for a while. I can remember in elementary school and high school that a lot of people wouldn't put any effort into their work just because they didn't want to appear smart. There is this belief that you can't be very smart and be popular at the same time. I have run into it in college and as an instructor, as well. I see all these people who apparently believe that popularity and being first in your class are mutually exclusive. You know, the ones that would rather sit around and joke with their fraternity brothers than pay attention in class. But really, I think it is ingrained in a lot of the students from high school that you somehow can't be popular and be the most successful (classwork-wise) at the same time. And unfortunately, most of them choose acceptance over success.

[skyeblu79 0]

I think some of it has to do w/laziness. It's easier to be a "C" student. If no one knows you have the potential to do better they probably won't exspect much out of you.

I don't necessarily think it's a fad. Even on tv, the most popular kids are usually not the smartest ones. It was like that when I was in high school.

I think a lot of it comes from home too. Some people's parents don't really stress school.....

[Nathalie 4]

Like skyeblu said, I blame the parents. My parent never accepted us to be mediocre. You learn as children what your potential is, primarily though being successful in what you do, and the messages your parents/teachers, etc. provide. If the kid's parents don't care if the kid is average, then you're going to have a hard time making the kid a success. I can tell you this: it won't be my child.

[Wheetsin 714]

First, was the kid even serious, or was he being a smartass? I ask because, when I was that age, if someone had made me do that, I would have been thinking "LAME" and probably would have given a similar answer just because I wasn't digging the activity.

If he was serious...

I don't think it's a fad. Nor do I think it's limited to younger generations. I see lots of older people all around me who are OK with mediocrity. You have your drivers/reds/As/whatever you want to call them who will be compelled to always push for that next step. That's me. Then there's your blues/amicables/whatever you want to call them who will always be happy to have what's handed to them and don't see a need to strive or push for more. That's my husband, to a degree. Of course you have degrees in between.

But none of that is "teenagers", it's "people". My parents always pushed me, his parents did not push him. I had friends who were pushed and friends who were not. Same with their parents. Same with the kids in school now.

[Carlene 12]

I had my first classes today and was doing my usual pep rally about success. I usually have them repeat the word "success" three times. This one kid wouldn't join in, so I asked him if wanted to be a success, and he said he'd rather be mediocre. This is the 2nd student who has preferred mediocrity this year. The first one flunked my course so he's well on the road to mediocrity, but I'm wondering if those of you who are in touch with teenagers outside the classroom have heard them mention that they want to be mediocre. Is this some sort of pessimistic new fad? Inquiring minds want to know.

I have 4 (grown) children, all born in the 70's, plus I am raising a grandchild born in 1992. They all have an amazing number of things in common....attitude sucks, room looks like New Orleans after Katrina, "old" is 35, and more than anything, they just want to fit in. If you are an outstanding student, you "stand out", obviously. They don't want to stand out. They are Lemmings.

PS....like everything else, there ARE exceptions to this mindset - like the Goths. But even still, all the Goths look alike, so even they aren't very original.

[Bullwinkle 1]

I usually have them repeat the word "success" three times.

Wow. I wouldn't have repeated it the first time, let alone the second or third time, and I'm 45 years old and far from mediocre.

I'm just not the "pep rally" type. If I DO wanna join in and chant with a crowd, it hasta be MY choice, and not because someone is telling me that if I don't say "success" three times in an hour-long class, that I'm gonna be a failure.

I'd feel the same way if I were in a church class, a college class, or a sporting event. If I don't feel like chanting along with the cheerleader (priest or teacher), then I ain't gonna.

Leave the kid alone and let him learn and succeed at his own pace, in his own way.

[anonemouse 1]

Leave the kid alone and let him learn and succeed at his own pace, in his own way.

You can't really do that in college. At some point, they have to keep up with the class or fail. And I think letting people learn at their own pace earlier in their life is probably contributing to the problem. Yes, it seems like a nice idea, but when do people learn that they can't really succeed at their own pace in the real world? If you tell your boss that you will be getting your work done on your schedule instead of trying to meet his deadline, what do you think he'll do? He'd probably think you were joking and then fire you when he realized you weren't.

I noticed the propensity of the school system to "dumb down" the curricula when I was in school. I could literally coast through all of my classes in high school without studying more than 5 minutes before a test and still get As and Bs. Did that help me? Hell no. I had a rude wake-up call in college when I realized that the professors aren't required to make you pass and don't dumb down their curricula to the nth degree. I struggled with my classes and ruined my GPA for the first 3 semesters. I still struggle with studying, even though I should have learned how at this point in my academic career (I'm getting a Master's in biology.) Teachers and school administrators are so afraid to push students and potentially make them feel or look "stupid" that they are making the majority of the students mediocre.

[Carlene 12]

You can't really do that in college. At some point, they have to keep up with the class or fail.

I never had a college-level instructor who CARED if I passed or failed. That was the biggest difference between high school and college (for me). Well, that and the dress code.

[Marimaru 7]

I don't think the issue is that the kid wouldn't *say* success 3 times... I think the issue is that when asked about it he *said* he wants to be mediocre...

I don't know what it is. At the same time, I have friends who have grand plans, who're working retail because they wont do the work required to get what they want, they just expect it will fall into their lap (even though nothing ever has, ever).

[skyeblu79 0]

I didn't really think about it that way. I probably wouldn't have wanted to do it either. What grade are these kids in?

I know you are meaning well, but I don't know. I taught 11th grade history for a very short stint and I know sometimes once a kid does something it's hard to shake that thought of them. I was always making kids my special projects though. Being that this rally is important to you, I am thinking you probably had a negative opinion of student.

Also, since this is a new class, are you a high school teacher on the block schedule or a college professor?

[carolel 0]

Oh Nathalie (in Michigan! !!!!!

Don't say it won't be your kids!!!! We never know what our kids will do and how they'll act. I'm a teacher of special education at the elem. level. I've taught kids in all grades - K-12 with and without disabilities. It's all the same..some want to strivefor good/outstanding grades and others could care less. Mediocre is fine for them. they have other things on their minds that are mre important to them at the time. I have a son who is 21, in college and becomes upset with a b. Then I have a 15 year old in 9th grade who cares only about football. B's and C's are just fine with him. He's perfectly capable of A's but doesn't want to put forth the effort and sees no need in busting his butt for an A when a B or C is sufficient to pass. But it's a differnt story when it comes to sports. he strives to excel in that area and does. I assure you...we have instilled the same quality in both boys......to try to be their best.....they have just chosen different avenues to do their best in. Yes...it bothers me that my 9th grader doesn't care about his grades. it bothers me more than it would alot of others since I'm a teacher but we have given both of them our best shot in raising them and instilling values. Kids are different.

But yes, mediocre seems to be just fine for many of our students today. It's sad because we currently have the best education available ever in the US. There's many different reasons for the mediocre attitudes though. It's not just the faults of parents and teachers. It's our environment and cultures as well.

Please NEVER say NEVER when it comes to your children.

[Wheetsin 714]

Marimaru - not sure if you're responding to me or not, but I didn't mean it was about the kid not saying it. I just meant -- something like that, something "pep rally", especially at that age, would really irritate me and while granted, I would have probably been one of the ones refusing to say it out loud, I would also have given an antagonistic answer (e.g. "mediocrity") when asked the question. Just because I would have thought the activity was lame. From the few facts I know, I can completely relate to that kid and completely see myself having done the same thing at that age... so I guess I just see it from a different perspective. Doesn't mean I would have truly believed I'm fine with mediocrity... just means I'm in a bad mood, or think "this" is stupid.

[anonemouse 1]

I never had a college-level instructor who CARED if I passed or failed.

Exactly, and I think it is like that in most of the real world. You don't get to say, "Wait, I'm just slower than everyone else!" You either keep up or you don't.