Scewed Perceptions?

[Mindful 6]

So help me out, someone! I was just seriously railed against in another support forum for people who were sleeved in July of this year. The reason being, I expressed my concern about all of the comments from people who were already eating Hershey kisses, filet o fish (McDonald's), frozen yogurt, and Cookies.< /p>

Maybe I am the one missing the boat here, but that seems like very risky behavior to me. Even only if eating half the fried fish filet or only one cookie, this seems like an addict who only snorts one line of coke.

The people were very upset with me for pointing this out and expressing my concern (even though I didn't name anyone in particular). They said that they won't live their lives "counting calories" and "not enjoying their lives".

Am I missing something? I am counting every calorie of everything I eat! I am trying to analyze my behavior so I can compare it to what I was doing before surgery and learn from it.

Am I doing something wrong? Should I be happy that I can only eat 1/2 a large order of fries??? That seems crazy to me, but maybe I am being too strict and setting myself up for failure.

Someone, please help!

[soocalchic 1,087]

So help me out' date=' someone! I was just seriously railed against in another support forum for people who were sleeved in July of this year. The reason being, I expressed my concern about all of the comments from people who were already eating Hershey kisses, filet o fish (McDonald's), frozen yogurt, and Cookies.

Maybe I am the one missing the boat here, but that seems like very risky behavior to me. Even only if eating half the fried fish filet or only one cookie, this seems like an addict who only snorts one line of coke.

The people were very upset with me for pointing this out and expressing my concern (even though I didn't name anyone in particular). They said that they won't live their lives "counting calories" and "not enjoying their lives".

Am I missing something? I am counting every calorie of everything I eat! I am trying to analyze my behavior so I can compare it to what I was doing before surgery and learn from it.

Am I doing something wrong? Should I be happy that I can only eat 1/2 a large order of fries??? That seems crazy to me, but maybe I am being too strict and setting myself up for failure.

Someone, please help![/quote']

If it works for you to over analyze and track every morsel of food that goes in your mouth.. Then that works for you, don't worry about what other people are doing.. And maybe let up on being so opinionated people might not judge you as harshly as they have.. Just my two cents

[KatInFL 216]

So help me out, someone! I was just seriously railed against in another support forum for people who were sleeved in July of this year. The reason being, I expressed my concern about all of the comments from people who were already eating Hershey kisses, filet o fish (McDonald's), frozen yogurt, and Cookies.

Maybe I am the one missing the boat here, but that seems like very risky behavior to me. Even only if eating half the fried fish filet or only one cookie, this seems like an addict who only snorts one line of coke.

The people were very upset with me for pointing this out and expressing my concern (even though I didn't name anyone in particular). They said that they won't live their lives "counting calories" and "not enjoying their lives".

Am I missing something? I am counting every calorie of everything I eat! I am trying to analyze my behavior so I can compare it to what I was doing before surgery and learn from it.

Am I doing something wrong? Should I be happy that I can only eat 1/2 a large order of fries??? That seems crazy to me, but maybe I am being too strict and setting myself up for failure.

Someone, please help!

Eh, I don't think you're wrong but everyone has to work their journey in a way that works for them. Honestly, you can be concerned and express concern, but people will do what works for them in the moment. Does that mean it's what will work long term? Not necessarily. But you will hear a lot of the "I didn't do this to have to diet for the rest of my life" opinion here, too. And it just might work for them long term.

There's a website that I frequent that has the sentiment: you work your pouch/sleeve, and I'll work mine.

Sometimes, you just have to let it go...even if it comes from a place of good intentions..because people perceive you as being self-righteous.

Having said that, I'm not the girl that can eat fries and junk food and a cookie without wanting more. That doesn't mean everyone has my issue, just means that I know for *myself* that I need to keep a tighter rein on what I eat. I track everything I eat, even when it's stuff I shouldn't...it just means I build it into my day.

~Kat

[Mindful 6]

Wow. Blown away...

[Mindful 6]

Eh' date=' I don't think you're wrong but everyone has to work their journey in a way that works for them. Honestly, you can be concerned and express concern, but people will do what works for them in the moment. Does that mean it's what will work long term? Not necessarily. But you will hear a lot of the "I didn't do this to have to diet for the rest of my life" opinion here, too. And it just might work for them long term.

There's a website that I frequent that has the sentiment: you work your pouch/sleeve, and I'll work mine.

Sometimes, you just have to let it go...even if it comes from a place of good intentions..because people perceive you as being self-righteous.

Having said that, I'm not the girl that can eat fries and junk food and a cookie without wanting more. That doesn't mean everyone has my issue, just means that I know for *myself* that I need to keep a tighter rein on what I eat. I track everything I eat, even when it's stuff I shouldn't...it just means I build it into my day.

~Kat[/quote']

Thanks for your insight!

[Ms. Mannix 21]

Mindful. What a great name.

You cannot fight others' weight loss battles. Choose your battles, state your peace & move on. I'm sure they were advised eary in the game of what NOT to do.

The sleeve is a tool. Let them eat cake!

It's only failure when you set your bar too low. Stay encouraged.

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

So help me out' date=' someone! I was just seriously railed against in another support forum for people who were sleeved in July of this year. The reason being, I expressed my concern about all of the comments from people who were already eating Hershey kisses, filet o fish (McDonald's), frozen yogurt, and Cookies.

Maybe I am the one missing the boat here, but that seems like very risky behavior to me. Even only if eating half the fried fish filet or only one cookie, this seems like an addict who only snorts one line of coke.

The people were very upset with me for pointing this out and expressing my concern (even though I didn't name anyone in particular). They said that they won't live their lives "counting calories" and "not enjoying their lives".

Am I missing something? I am counting every calorie of everything I eat! I am trying to analyze my behavior so I can compare it to what I was doing before surgery and learn from it.

Am I doing something wrong? Should I be happy that I can only eat 1/2 a large order of fries??? That seems crazy to me, but maybe I am being too strict and setting myself up for failure.

Someone, please help![/quote']

Sounds like you're on the right track. You are making good choices and looking long term. Unfortunately there isn't much point in arguing with addicts; they have to reach conclusions on their own. Keep your chin up

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

No one likes a mirror held up to themselves and everything can be said - it's just all in the delivery. If you have an expressive face, like I have, I often fail in containing my horror to some things people say in real life.Consequently, I will never be in the diplomatic service! However, this is a chat room. My advice, for what it's worth? Be mindful of the fact that text can be open to interpretation and unless you're careful; timing, structure, punctuation and context is everything! If you blurt out a 'WTF?! You're eating burgers?!!' straight after someone's announced it to a room, it's going to put people's backs up. If you meant it as a more of an enquiry, as a form of self reflection for your eating preferences and restrictions; I may have couched it like this 'don't think I could stomach that at this stage. Does it sit okay in your sleeve?' If you can recognise what I did there... You'll be okay in the future. As for what you eat - it's your journey. It's your rules. Best of luck

[johnlatte 1,232]

So help me out, someone! I was just seriously railed against in another support forum for people who were sleeved in July of this year. The reason being, I expressed my concern about all of the comments from people who were already eating Hershey kisses, filet o fish (McDonald's), frozen yogurt, and Cookies.

Maybe I am the one missing the boat here, but that seems like very risky behavior to me. Even only if eating half the fried fish filet or only one cookie, this seems like an addict who only snorts one line of coke.

The people were very upset with me for pointing this out and expressing my concern (even though I didn't name anyone in particular). They said that they won't live their lives "counting calories" and "not enjoying their lives".

Am I missing something? I am counting every calorie of everything I eat! I am trying to analyze my behavior so I can compare it to what I was doing before surgery and learn from it.

Am I doing something wrong? Should I be happy that I can only eat 1/2 a large order of fries??? That seems crazy to me, but maybe I am being too strict and setting myself up for failure.

Someone, please help!

You aren't wrong at all, but there is a lesson to be learned. People take so many different approaches to this surgery and the aftermath. I no longer post here as much, simply because of posts like the one you describe. Sure, I don't want to be on a "diet" and I don't profess to be on one. I do live my life just fine without stuffing my face with junk food. If someone has equate eating junk to joy of life, then most likely they will fail at this. These are the usually the same people that post on the "Regrets" thread or come back and what to know why they have stalled for months on end. There's nothing much anyone can do to offer support to these people. They haven't made the real commitment to living a healthy lifestyle. For me, and only for me, I made the commitment to get healthy and live a healthy lifestyle. Junk food, sodas, french fries, fried fish all have no place in that lifestyle. If others want to blow it over some crappy ass food, then it isn't up to us to tell them otherwise. They'll only become butthurt like you've seen and generally it is a waste of time.. I now just sit back and watch as they b***h and moan about stalling or gaining....

[DeniseM 238]

I think that we are all different, we all had different issues coming into the sleeve process and some of us have dealt with our food demons and some of us have not. Many food issues are psychological and simply reducing the size of your stomach will not fix a psychological problem. What I choose to do for my sleeve journey is my choice. Some people might not agree, but at the end of the day, it is my choice, not theirs. That being said, I agree with you in that I see many people posting on here things that I would not personally choose to eat, but again, my choice. I try very hard not to pass judgment on anyone by commenting on their food choices, unless they are asking a specific question. If someone just ate an entire bag of chips or drank an entire bottle of wine and now they are posting about it, who am I to judge them? Their choices have no effect on me. I simply shake my head and close the thread and read the next one.

[Mindful 6]

Denise, where did you get "judgment" from? Why is asking the question equal to judging? Why is saying "I am concerned for you" judging? Of that constitutes judging then I might as well not participate in these threads anymore. It seems like the only thing I could have/should have done is personally mail the person a McDonald's gift card and tell them to have the next one on me!

[Mindful 6]

Keep in mind, I specifically said that my comment was not posted to anyone in particular. It was not in response to anyone, it was a general "I am concerned" comment to my specific, small group of sleevers.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Mindful, Congrats on being open and giving your opinion. I rather fall in the same opinion as you. I also know that a lot of the people that return to his/her old eating habits will gain his/her weight back too. So I choose to eat healthy 90% of the time. They will cause an uproar because they struggle with the choices they make. It is important that someone does challenge them because that gives them something to think about. If they get upset and attack you, remind yourself that you were honest and upfront and on the right page to getting a healthier you. So congrats on healthier thinking!

[Sydney Susan 333]

Mindful, analysing why people got defensive/annoyed and whether you should have said what you did or not is probably not a fruitful exercise. The truth is you said x about y and the result was z. It probably always will be. It's not right or wrong it just "is".

Perhaps some privately thought about what you wrote and changed behaviour... who knows? If that was your intention then may be you'll feel it was worthwhile and repeat the process, but don't expect the outcome on the forum to be any different.

[Mindful 6]

Mindful' date=' analysing why people got defensive/annoyed and whether you should have said what you did or not is probably not a fruitful exercise. The truth is you said x about y and the result was z. It probably always will be. It's not right or wrong it just "is".

Perhaps some privately thought about what you wrote and changed behaviour... who knows? If that was your intention then may be you'll feel it was worthwhile and repeat the process, but don't expect the outcome on the forum to be any different.[/quote']

Cute response and very appropriate considering the screen name I chose here! (Do you know what I mean?). Anyway, your response was right on. Thanks!