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The worst best night of my life



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So one of my co-workers calls me at the last minute with free stage tickets to one of the best jazz festival our city has had in a very long time. Now I almost declined because I had nothing to wear, my hair ain't done, and all the other many reasons fat girls make excuses not to go somewhere. Mind you I'm als

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Sorry hit the send button accidentally.

So, mind you I'm 6 days into my pre-op. But who turns down free stage tickets to see Fantasia, Kem, Morris Day and the Time and Leela James. So I went.

I was miserable the whole night. I only had 30 minutes to get dress, so I'm not at my best. I'm drained from not eating. We had to walk what seemed to be a Marathon to get there. We finally get to the stage and they are taking pictures for the paper. Someone shows me a picture of myself and words can't express how I felt but I'm sure many been there. I really could not enjoy myself. I had the opportunity to meet the stars but I turned it down. Like who does that. And at one point I felt like R Kelly was singing to me lol but I quickly looked the other way. Any other time I would have been trying to get on that stage. Then the walk back to the car was excruciatingly. I had to turn down the offer to go clubbing cause my feet are numb and I don't know if I can drink on this pre-op diet.

This was an opportunity of a life time to enjoy and all I can think about was I wish this was the same time next year or I wished I never let myself get like this. I use to be the life of the party. I use to be the motivator. I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK!!! Sorry, just had to vent.

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OK, so take your life back. It seems as if you are doing so, but it takes more'n a half hour. So you are fat? Stay on your program and you won't be, but remember the sleeve can't fix other things and we ALL have 'other things' (often in our heads). Go put some music on and crank it up, and PS, you look cute now so imagine what you'll look like in 6 months...

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Thanks so much for that Art137. Most of the time I try to stay positive. I guest I let last night get the best of me. And your right, I just need to brush my shoulders off and keep it moving. Today is a new day and I thank God for waking me up this morning. Sore bod and all. Thank him for getting me through this pre-op diet. And thank him for this tool to help me through this weight lost journey. I'm going to take your advice and crank up that music and snap back. And thx for the compliment. I needed that. Have a good day.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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