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They want to eat WHAT?!



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Ok, I don't normally do this but I need to have a little rant...

My BF's bday was yesterday & we are meeting his family for a BBQ tomorrow. Except they have now decided that having a BBQ is too much work (after I already bought the meat for everyone else, & shrimp to skewer for me), and they want to just do deli meat sandwiches, Walmart dessert (i.e., Little Debbies or something)...(after I already prepared a gluten-free, low sugar, Protein added spice cake bc a few of them are diabetic & I thought I might try a nibble), and they are OFFENDED that I (& my BF) still want to bring our BBQ food & don't want to eat lunch meat!

I mean honestly, IDC what anyone else wants to put in their body, but #1: I simply cannot eat a sandwich...bread is forbidden (& Frank-my sleeve- doesn't like it anyway), & deli meat, even if it didn't make Frank cranky & cause vomiting, is disgusting & not healthy anyway. And #2: I'm not asking for special privilege here, or even understanding, just don't call ME snobby bc I want REAL FOOD that DOESN'T HURT MY GUTS...while I continue to not care what they eat, why do they care what I nibble on?

I'm so hurt that I'm being made out to be the heavy here, when I had nothing to do with the planning of the BBQ, or the change in plans, or anything at all...I've just complied all along & getting bored of their indifference towards me when I put so much thought into these events of theirs.

Ugh. ::end rant::

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Y'all enjoy BBQ while they watch with sandwiches in their hands!!

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I agree, I have brought my own food twice now to "cookouts" and family get togethers. I also brought my own food to a kids birthday party, it was at chuck e cheese, and I knew there was nothing on the menu for me. I bought a small chicken salad and some strawberry yogurt.

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Cook your BBQ at home and bring your picnic with you. They can eat their deli sandwiches and you eat what you want. If they give you trouble tell them you didn't want the food to go bad so you cooked it. Bring the cake they will eat it............guaranteed!! This will begin to show them you are serious about your diet and it is important to you.

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I'm glad I'm not alone! Lol :)

I had to bring my own stuff to Easter (it was 4 days post-op, so...yeah lol), Memorial Day & a bday party, so I'm not sure why they're making such a huge deal out of THIS. We even offered to do the actual cooking, so it's not like they're going to have extra work... I'm still taking my shrimp! ;)

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Totally, what a PITA! It is likely that they feel (incorrectly) judged, both by your desire to bring your own food and that somehow what they are doing to Celebrate your BFs birthday isn't "good enough for you", and even though you aren't raising an eyebrow at what they will eat, it is easier for some people to keep their blinders on about their food choices if everyone else is eating the same.

Hopefully your BF can let his family know that given your current dietary restrictions (and because you'd already bought the food) you guys are going to keep with your original plan for food at tomorrow's gathering, but they should proceed with menu of their choosing for everyone else.

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I don't eat bread, and I cannot stand lunch meat, so I feel you on this one. I think that they should understand that with your surgery comes certain restrictions, but it is very easy to work around those restrictions. Seems to me that your BF should talk to his family about being more understanding and supportive of you, and the least they can do is not be offended if you bring your own food! You are not asking them to make anything special for you or to change their plans for you- the point of a family get together is to spend time together, not to get mad if someone is eating something different.

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seems inconsiderate to change plans after people have already prepared food.< /p>

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I say ditto to all above :)

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You had nothing to do with the planning or anything but you bought all the meat? Was it assigned to you? Did it maybe seem to them that they were planning something and you took it over? I personally would be thrilled if someone brought the meat and a cake , just wondering why they are being so weird.

If they dont like you bringing your own food- too bad. You have to make sure you are taken care of.

I hope you still have a nice get together.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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