My biggest dilemma is that I have to take medicine in the morning. I don't want to eat until around 11 am because I like to have a late night snack of 100 calorie pack of cocoa dusted almonds. I've been putting off taking my medicine but the one I can't put off is an anti biotic.

I guess I can share this ,lol. I have to take an antibiotic before have sex or I will get a UTI.I have to take it with food.

I guess half of a Greek Yogurt would be 50 calories. I need to look up string cheese and baby bell light.

How about you? Is the 5:2 plan working with your life? I also don't like working out with my trainer on an empty stomach.

Will this not work if you have 11 hours in between instead of 12? There must be some reason you have to have 12 hours off.

And I don't think I know A sleeve4me - I rarely visit the rest of the board anymore - just our group. I am fine with new folks if everyone else is.

Good Job Kelly!

ASleeve4me? Im not sure who that is... do you have a link to her profile? I would like to check her out first....

Florinda, where are you I want to know how the new job is going and what the new job is.

Denise I don't recall seeing posts from asleevee4me though there are only a couple of areas of the website that I post and lurk around so I don't know her (him?). I hope that your current course of antibiotics does the trick and that you start feeling better in yourself soon.

It sounds like we are all trying to have a good go at the 5:2 but of course life gets in the way. One thing I do like about it though is that I feel in control especially if I have a good fast day. We can only but try, it's when we stop trying that those nasty lbs sneak on.

 I did a member search for asleevee4me, and and came up with nothing. Did s/he ask you directly or through the 5:2 group?

I did a member search for asleevee4me, and and came up with nothing. Did s/he ask you directly or through the 5:2 group?

I work at Amazon HQ in Seattle and it is mentally exhausting. My anxiety is rising rapidly, which means that my desire to self-medicate with food is also ratcheting upward. I already effed up this morning and ate a pain au chocolate - this also happens when I am not able to take my daily antacid - does anyone else notice a need for carbs to assuage the burning?

I effing HATE being fat again, my psychology is really suffering, my sense of worth, all of it. Yet, in my depression I don't do anything to make myself feel better except to eat, and I HATE the eating .... v_v

And this job is impressive, or at least working for this company is impressive, but I'm not saving lives, I'm not fighting the good fight, I'm not making a difference and I want to be back in the field, I want to be in the refugee camps, I want to be hiding from the enemy with a knife in my hand. It's complex.

I work at Amazon HQ in Seattle and it is mentally exhausting. My anxiety is rising rapidly, which means that my desire to self-medicate with food is also ratcheting upward. I already effed up this morning and ate a pain au chocolate - this also happens when I am not able to take my daily antacid - does anyone else notice a need for carbs to assuage the burning?

I effing HATE being fat again, my psychology is really suffering, my sense of worth, all of it. Yet, in my depression I don't do anything to make myself feel better except to eat, and I HATE the eating .... v_v

And this job is impressive, or at least working for this company is impressive, but I'm not saving lives, I'm not fighting the good fight, I'm not making a difference and I want to be back in the field, I want to be in the refugee camps, I want to be hiding from the enemy with a knife in my hand. It's complex.

Posted in error

Edited January 26, 201511 yr by UK Cathy

Florinda, when i was banded and lacked education on the subject, I often got an acidy burning tummy. I am convinced this caused my frozen yogurt/ice cream addiction. I swear, a soft cone from DQ or McD was the best way to soothe the fire. I luckily (haha) had a decade of experiencing that, so I am very tuned into acid feeling like hunger. It sucks and the best thing you can do is recognize it and control it otherwise I do think it drives you to eat - or not eat sometimes. DGL Licorce, found at health food stores is a more natural soother. I don't take a PPI, but I do take the DGL sometimes. I bite it up, and but it between lip and gums to let it dissolve slowly and coat my esophogus and tummy. It was one of the things that got me eating again last year when i had no appetite.

I was thinking about your lack of satisfaction with your job. I think it is a little bit of a harsh reality for most of us that we are not saving the world.... One thing to think about is your own personal life goals. I think I recall you dream of kids and marriage - is that still n the radar? Then there is the caring for your own physical and emotional well being... From a life satisfaction point of view, I think putting those thoughts and timelines on the radar is a very effective way to balance your own needs versus the dreams of making a difference.

When I was early 20s, I had big dreams career wise. In some ways I did not meet them, in other ways I exceeded them. I do believe in having big goals, but I wish that all those years ago I had a bit more thought into MY needs and wants and how to live a full and healthy life over some of these goals I had. I wanted it all - and I did have the husband, kids, a nice house, lots of world travel, feeling self important at my job etc but it was sending me to an early grave/obesity. I was looking at pics of myself from the flying high years and I looked like hell. I am younger and healthier looking now.

I joke that it is because i am a Gemini, but I have a restless soul. I am often wanting to do, try, experience, see, feel new things. That restless spirit is sometimes a great strength as I have much energy, curiousity and it has contributed to some big career successes - I often don't see things the way some others do which opens doors.

Flip side, that restlessness hasn't always helped me feel content in life. i have been going through that big time myself. Like, my day to day life is excellent and outstanding... and yet I often feel like I am not doing enough, I am not accomplishing anything, I am not serving or caring for anyone, I am a bit purposeless. Turns out lots of people's lives are like that and they don't seem to let it bother them... hmmmm. Example, I recently met some people who seem quite content working ho hum jobs, working out (like alot of working out, serious athletes) and maybe a few glasses of wine at a happy hour from time to time.

I had a thought the other day to foster some rescue dogs because I am an animal lover and I have friends that do all that and the need is huge. Then it hit me, that is not my path. I am not destined to age into the "cat lady" or "puppy lady"...anymore than I am destined to be the gym rat. I still don't exactly know my path because i am having a hard time accepting that I may very well be single forever... and it is so ingrained in me that my life path is deeply intertwined with a man/partner.

I talk with alot of single ladies and I notice that many of them LOVE the freedom and choices this life gives them. I do too.... but i still feel that "missing" and I notice some of my single lady friends feel that way too. I am not sure if it is bad messaging from our childhood rearing its ugly head or if it is really our "truth." I feel at some level, more complete when I am in a true relationship.

I work at Amazon HQ in Seattle and it is mentally exhausting. My anxiety is rising rapidly, which means that my desire to self-medicate with food is also ratcheting upward. I already effed up this morning and ate a pain au chocolate - this also happens when I am not able to take my daily antacid - does anyone else notice a need for carbs to assuage the burning?

I effing HATE being fat again, my psychology is really suffering, my sense of worth, all of it.  Yet, in my depression I don't do anything to make myself feel better except to eat, and I HATE the eating .... v_v

And this job is impressive, or at least working for this company is impressive, but I'm not saving lives, I'm not fighting the good fight, I'm not making a difference and I want to be back in the field, I want to be in the refugee camps, I want to be hiding from the enemy with a knife in my hand.  It's complex.

I have chosen to spend my money making life at a "save the world" job. I love my job, but make crap for a paycheck. I have no retirement through the job, do not make enough to save. But I do love it. I tell myself that 2/3rds of the value of my work is strictly volunteered, and 1/3rd I am paid for. I also love exotic travel and the inner journey as well. There are ways to get your fix... working or volunteering in a field that needs your skill set for the betterment of others.  I ask you to go back in our forum posts here, to the time you were at work in the middle east... you were excited, but not happy.... and your health really suffered. I think you can figure out something that will scratch the itch, and not make you sick. I bet its close to your home there too... or in the Peace corps or something like that if you want to take it out of the US.

I was already in the Peace Corps, and I am excluded from ever doing it again, due to my recent overseas work.

Two weird things... I have been exercising, active, working hard and eating healthy. My weight has actually gone up a few pounds. i think i am retaining water ... and I just need to stay the course! It isn't very motivating except I am feeling so good working out hard.

I loved kickboxing, but did zumba last night. Zumba was easy, but my knee started bothering me, too much lateral... crud. i need to get a knee brace.

Second... I am having laser hair removal by someone who works out of my surgical practice. She did not know me as obese. I mentioned that i am a solid 15 (or more) pounds over my lightest. Her reaction was "you must have been too thin". I said, i weighed 160 this morning (that water gain pushed me back up) and she was shocked. She said i look like I weigh a lot less.

I went on to Zumba where I spent an hour watching myself and others in the big ass huge mirror. I wasn't the thinnest for sure, i wasn't the most voluptous for sure, but i was surely the thinnest woman with a shape (boobs and defined waist). It really hit me that I didn't actually look like I need to lose those 15 pounds except for my inner thighs - where I still have excess skin so losing weight won't help.

It was an eye opener. I still prefer to weigh more like 145 - but, it was interesting.

here's what I found, Kim.  Don't know her. 

You know, Sheryl, the more I think about it the more I am realizing that I MIGHT be wanting to "snack" graze all the time is because I feel HUNGRY all the time which I have interpreted from a sorta "burning" stomach feeling.  I should have probably realized sooner that this might be acid since I'm four 1/2 years out!  Ha!  But I've NEVER had reflux or gastric acid issues before and totally am ignorant of symptoms but it makes sense now.  Gonna try the old Omeprazole the Dr. gave me (PCP) who told me was a believer that everybody should take a low dose of something everyday as we age.    Especially if we take any meds (which I don't now). 

 

I'm going to try it - cant hurt.  I simply couldn't/cant understand why I felt hungry ALL THE TIME now!  

 

I truly want to lose this regain and learn to LIVE at 145-150.  I feel so much better physically and emotionally.  I'm like you - others think I "look fabulous" and cant tell any gain etc but I know how I feel and I like my size 8s which I can't fit into most of now. 

 

Florinda!  Amazon!  Sounds like it would be an awesome job/company.  I, for one, am a true Amazon fanatic.  Now, that's on the retail side!  Ha!  Like Kim said, maybe you need to explore opportunities that would allow you to "invest" yourself in something truly worthwhile and help get your mind in a better place while earning a living at this great opportunity in Seattle.  Just a thought.  Just to want to see you happier mentally and I believe, the physical will follow.  Hugs to you!

 

How's everybody else doing this week?  Denise?  Sarah (where art thou?) Cathy, Coops, Dee, Sheila, Dorrie, Lynda (where are you too?), Brown, Chimera?  Check in time!

 

I need a much better week since yesterday was an absolute disaster calorie-wise!   Today is fast day #1. 

My left eyelid hasn't stopped twitching in weeks. This morning at 4am I was awakened by what can only be described as an actual pain in the ass - it was bad enough that I went online and researched, I came up with levator ani syndrome which, of course, is brought on primarily by stress. sigh.

I just want to starve myself, yet I keep effing eating. I am so EFFING SICK OF ALWAYS BEING THE FATTEST EFFING PERSON IN THE ROOM. and now I have to deal with the fact that now I am the OLD AND FAT one, it being a tech company it is composed of mostly tiny asian children. (if you aren't old enough to buy a scotch, you are a child).