My biggest dilemma is that I have to take medicine in the morning. I don't want to eat until around 11 am because I like to have a late night snack of 100 calorie pack of cocoa dusted almonds. I've been putting off taking my medicine but the one I can't put off is an anti biotic.

I guess I can share this ,lol. I have to take an antibiotic before have sex or I will get a UTI.I have to take it with food.

I guess half of a Greek Yogurt would be 50 calories. I need to look up string cheese and baby bell light.

How about you? Is the 5:2 plan working with your life? I also don't like working out with my trainer on an empty stomach.

Will this not work if you have 11 hours in between instead of 12? There must be some reason you have to have 12 hours off.

Oh yes guys Madison has been to a psychiatrist and has been on and off meds for some years..

We can not force her to take them so she has been off everything for a couple of years now..

I tried to give my children the kind of stable home life I did not have. But at some point I realized that isn't even enough for some people.

You know that hole? The one I fill with food..

I think for me part of it was definitely nurture so I did for my kids the "right things" but in seeing my daughter I realize that part of it is nature.. It's a hole my mom filled with drugs alcohol and men and I filled with food. And my daughter is trying to fill too.

Dorrie, wow we are on the same rough path with our daughters right now.. Yes, I hope that for the both of us some time and distance will heal things some with our girls.. I'm sure that when your daughter starts her married life on her own she will be able to see that she has a take responsibility in the outcomes of poor communication with people...

Ok someone said happy Saturday!! Let's do this thing!

Oh and yes globe, she did mention Germany..

I remember last time she was transported there she wasn't able to communicate with us for weeks!! I'm thinking she must be there again??

Dee your before and after look amazing. You must be so proud of yourself! And I love that outfit. WOW! U look great.

This is going to be perfect for your beautiful daughter. She will learn a lot and you are a really good mom. It is important to always work on our relationship with our children.... Heck, I will be sitting my daughter down and having a long talk with her too. But her moving is going to be very helpful for her in the long run....painful......but an eye opener.....

Wow! Thanks guys! It feels so good to get this off my chest.
I'm feeling hopeful that she and I can mend some things.. She is a great kid in so many ways..
And is trying to find her path. She goes in for basic training in June so she will be gone for several months at least. I think the army is going to be good for her.

Jane, the date sounds like fun! Lol I've never heard that name before, I mean besides the character on the show. Have you asked how it came about? His parents naming him that?
Your a better woman than me! I only wear heels for funerals and weddings!

Rough day over here, I am totally procrastinating again. I have so much to do, yet, I feel anxious and sad. So I am sitting here trying to numb these feelings with kit kat bars and reeses peanut butter cups. I don't even know how many I have eaten. I just keep putting them in my mouth. It's like I'm stuck and I can't move and I don't want to feel anything. It's as though I'm stuck and I see the whole world moving around me and I can't get up and go...

I'm usually not a procrastinator, usually I just do things and get them done so I don't have to think about them anymore but, lately I just don't want to do anything!

Just wanted to write out how I am feeling. I will be fine.

The holiday season is tough for a lot of us, wish it didn't have to be this way.

Blah...

Rough day over here, I am totally procrastinating again. I have so much to do, yet, I feel anxious and sad. So I am sitting here trying to numb these feelings with kit kat bars and reeses peanut butter cups. I don't even know how many I have eaten. I just keep putting them in my mouth. It's like I'm stuck and I can't move and I don't want to feel anything. It's as though I'm stuck and I see the whole world moving around me and I can't get up and go... I'm usually not a procrastinator, usually I just do things and get them done so I don't have to think about them anymore but, lately I just don't want to do anything! Just wanted to write out how I am feeling. I will be fine. The holiday season is tough for a lot of us, wish it didn't have to be this way. Blah...

Do you have any idea why you are feeling sad??

I know that feeling so well, paralyzed.

Girl after last night I have no right to tell anyone to step away from the food..

But, step away from the food!!!

We nned to get up! Yes me too. I've got things to do. I hate this, but I'm going to make a list of things that have to get done this weekend.

Would that help you to do that to?

Sar I am sorry you feel bad but thank you for sharing. I have online horsey friends I have known for 10 years, met in real life and felt so close to until recently. Whenever I post something genuine like that,well they seem to think weight loss has made me crazy and sad. No, crawling out from under the fat and no longer abusing food means I FEEL things so much now. Like a deaf person who can suddenly hear,sometimes it is too loud and too much...but I am much happier and better now it just doesn't always look that way. I feel like you all understand and don't leap to judge. I hope you all feel that from me too, I think you are all amazing ladies even with the ups and downs.

Edited December 14, 201312 yr by CowgirlJane

Rough day over here, I am totally procrastinating again. I have so much to do, yet, I feel anxious and sad. So I am sitting here trying to numb these feelings with kit kat bars and reeses peanut butter cups. I don't even know how many I have eaten. I just keep putting them in my mouth. It's like I'm stuck and I can't move and I don't want to feel anything. It's as though I'm stuck and I see the whole world moving around me and I can't get up and go... I'm usually not a procrastinator, usually I just do things and get them done so I don't have to think about them anymore but, lately I just don't want to do anything! Just wanted to write out how I am feeling. I will be fine. The holiday season is tough for a lot of us, wish it didn't have to be this way. Blah...

Do you have any idea why you are feeling sad??

I know that feeling so well, paralyzed.

Girl after last night I have no right to tell anyone to step away from the food..

But, step away from the food!!!

We nned to get up! Yes me too. I've got things to do. I hate this, but I'm going to make a list of things that have to get done this weekend.

Would that help you to do that to?

Yup, different stuff with the holidays and family that makes me sad. It's like the holiday season is when I really see how messed up my extended family is and my husband's for that matter. It just brings me down every year. It's like I try to put a smile on my face and keep going for the kids but deep down inside I hurt because I wish it could be different.

I got away from the candy and started cleaning and doing sheets. Then, I decided to turn our Tempurpedic mattress around on our bed, king size, I was laughing at myself, trying to turn that crazy thing around!

It just feels good to be able to type out my feelings...thanks for listening.

Yes, I have a list.

We can do this!!!

Sar I am sorry you feel bad but thank you for sharing. I have online horsey friends I have known for 10 years, met in real life and felt so close to until recently. Whenever I post something genuine like that,well they seem to think weight loss has made me crazy and sad. No, crawling out from under the fat and no longer abusing food means I FEEL things so much now. Like a deaf person who can suddenly hear,sometimes it is too loud and too much...but I am much happier and better now it just doesn't always look that way. I feel like you all understand and don't leap to judge. I hope you all feel that from me too, I think you are all amazing ladies even with the ups and downs.

Yes!!! I have to feel now that I try not to shove food inside me so I don't feel.

I know all of you here get that feeling and know just where I'm coming from!

I am also much happier now, even though I will still have my sad times. Now I just have to learn to get out the feelings and move on from there and not get stuck! For the most part I am doing that, but it's still hard at times.

So happy I have all of you in my crazy life!

Yup, different stuff with the holidays and family that makes me sad. It's like the holiday season is when I really see how messed up my extended family is and my husband's for that matter. It just brings me down every year. It's like I try to put a smile on my face and keep going for the kids but deep down inside I hurt because I wish it could be different. I got away from the candy and started cleaning and doing sheets. Then, I decided to turn our Tempurpedic mattress around on our bed, king size, I was laughing at myself, trying to turn that crazy thing around! It just feels good to be able to type out my feelings...thanks for listening. Yes, I have a list. We can do this!!!

Wow yes holidays! When crazy comes knocking on your front door with a smile and bearing gifts...

Lol I'm just hoping we all can get through it!

One year I just want to go away on a trip during Christmas... But family doesn't understand that

WHY would we want to be away from family??

Lol king sized anything verses your little tiny self would be funny

Yes, a trip! I would love that. I was trying to talk the hubs into going to Disney for Xmas. That didn't fly with him but only because he didn't want to spend the money. Maybe next year we will rent a cabin in the mountains somewhere.

There you go! Yes if you go away for the holiday it insures a good time and a nice excuse not to spend a day(s) with toxic family members!

Ok my daughter wants to go out somewhere with me (shopping) wish us luck

It's weird but I spanked her once (yes only once)

When she was way younger at the urging of a friend that couldn't take it anymore one day and said "laura you need to spank her now!"

The funny thing, I hated spanking by the way it felt like such a methodical thing to do..

She was so sweet and well behaved??

She's acting the same way now..

There you go! Yes if you go away for the holiday it insures a good time and a nice excuse not to spend a day(s) with toxic family members!

Ok my daughter wants to go out somewhere with me (shopping) wish us luck

It's weird but I spanked her once (yes only once)

When she was way younger at the urging of a friend that couldn't take it anymore one day and said "laura you need to spank her now!"

The funny thing, I hated spanking by the way it felt like such a methodical thing to do..

She was so sweet and well behaved??

She's acting the same way now..

Wow It sounds like your daughter feels a lot better too. You set some boundaries and told her things she needed to hear. Perhaps you need to just be up front and honest with her all the time.... That's pure progress. hope you had fun shopping.

I really have a hard time with Christmas too. It makes me down and I really don't care if we have a tree or not. My husband and daughter are the ones who put it up and I have to fight to take it down... Today I am very thankful that the conflict between my daughter and myself is over. She has a lot of feelings of insecurity going on under the surface. I went to her work (Pet Smart) and took cookies for her associates. She was side swiped and we both cried and told each other how we've been feeling. It's amazing how when we finally reach this point......we went to lunch and had a long talk. It was a relief..

I proceeded to go to Tuesday morning on a mission to buy some piraline wafers thankfully they didn't have any. I got a truck with Santa claus in it for 25% off and then asked for an additional discount and they gave me 20% more due to it needing a little bit of glue. What a great deal. It just made my day..

Ahh let the healing begin! Sounds like we all had rough few days. Everyone stEp. Away from the food and do something constructive. I will start wrapping gifts and not wait till Christmas Eve which is exhausting.

LOL...my name has been in my footer all along! Yes, Dee is me... Holy crap, I got busy at work ("busy" = "INSANE") and didn't catch up for a couple of days...SIX new pages of posts! LOL, you guys are having a party without me...but that's okay cos there are so many work parties, I'm just dying to live through the next week and then REEEELLLLLLAAAAAX for a couple of weeks... /takes deep breaths... http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gsoEZSS3edo/UqW8njHEQaI/AAAAAAAAAcg/g3m_TgsczII/s1600/CherryCon-me-today.jpg That is a link to a before/after photo of me. The before is about six months pre-op (and admittedly is a HORRENDOUS photo LOL), and the after was like in March 2013? That skirt and top are a little looser on me now, though I haven't (still!) lost any weight... I am still reading to catch up. xoxoxo

Love this!! You are so pretty!

Yes Jane, I need to grow a pair! I'm not going to be a doormat and I've spent the last week letting them know that. Brown, I love that story! It's makes it even better that it had such a positive impact on your son. You handled that situation and teaching moment just right. Ladies I binged bad last night.. When I first started to write this I was going to say I don't even know why.. But I think stress and funny enough relief played a part.. My daughter and I fought again last night.. But I was able to be brutally honest and purge some things to her.. She has people believing I'm a horrible cold person that is verbally abusive. In fact one of her friends moms is supposed to contact me this weekend to "talk" according to her.. She comes at me with "what kind of mom is counting the days until her daughter is 18 to kick her out" so the fighting began. I let her know I feel like I've been living under siege by her for years she is violent and if I enter her room or get close to her she starts blindly swinging we've to tackle her several times my husband and me helping restrain her as he is trying to pin her down she literally goes crazy and even sounds like an animal and starts smashing things and swinging blindly. I'm scared of her on some level. I know that if she feels I'm in her face she will hit me (it's her strange defense mechanism) she almost goes into a fugue state.. Yes jane many years of counseling for her, it's helped some.. Especially when she was younger. But she refuses to go anymore. Last year it got really bad. We found someone who was supposed to be the best around it was an emergency situation and my husband called in some favors to contact this man. OMG he charged 300 dollars an hour! Not covered by insurance! He met us and her. She even kinda seemed to like him the first day. he had two sessions with her and on the third she was pissed that I was interrupting her life to do this (he only had appointments right after school so she had to come straight home) he came out afterwards and said they would not be going forward.. Wtf??? She refuses counseling now and we can't force her.. I let it all out last night. Told her she is abusing me, that I'm scared of my own daughter.. That I refuse to live like this anymore and that's why I count the days. I just want peace in my life.. So the relief? It felt good just to be honest (and sometimes it wasn't nice what I was saying but honest) And we at some point stopped fighting and spent the rest of the night together.. But I BINGED! I ate so much I can't even remember it all... I stayed up until almost 2 am eating.. I ate things like peanut butter, protein cookies (350 calories worth) a protein bar a granola bar, some chips, and this was after saying screw it at dinner and eating chicken tortilla soup and some cornbread. Sorry I needed to purge this and get it off my chest. It is done, I am done, Going to consider this all spewed out and I will move in from here. Thank you for listening.

Bless your heart, Sweetie. I fully understand. Went through years of it with my son. Unless you've been through it with a child it is hard for others to comprehend and others tend to think since we are the adults that we HAD to have caused it! Good for you on the honesty with her. I lived many years With guilt thinking they're MUST have been something I could have done to change things. Sometimes there is simply NOT. some kids only learn by the road of hard knocks. And we suffer along with them because we would gladly take it if we could to help them be okay! I agree that you need to care for YOU and in Doing so will be better able to help your daughter. Take care. Good thoughts and prayers your way!!