gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

I don't know how to block people either. I know it can be done but not sure how. PM Alex, if the person you want to block can see posts in the host forum.

Next week we are going to Second City. It's like Saturday Night Live. In fact, a lot of people on Sat. Night live started at Second City. I love going there. I am doing my best at thinking of activities that don't require a lot of walking. We went on a scenic boat ride today.

i talked to my husband's cousin who also had a fusion in his back at L4 and L5. He said he was glad he did it and is out of pain now. That made me feel a lot better.

Bill has been doing a really great job of taking care of my house which makes me feel a lot better. There have been robberies in my neighborhood, and people keep telling me that I was stupid to announce my vacation on Facebook and now people know my house is empty. Bill has been staying there part of the time.

[Chimera 644]

Glad you are enjoying Chicago - that is the land of my peoples - well the boonies 40 miles outside of Chicago to be more exact, in the land of corn Beautiful but far too humid for me.

Florinda, I am sad you are angry - I get that way too - but it quickly goes to "poor old me" - have been working on snapping out of that madness more quickly and it seems to help.

I love my husband dearly, more than anything, but if anything happened to him I do not know if I would be interested in marrying again - we have been together over 15 years, met when I was 35 and we get along swimmingly, we got into an altercation yesterday (which happens every few years) and it was about the frequency of sex - we can hump like rabbits and he still thinks it isn't enough at times, then he gets his feelings hurt if he gets turned down (like wanting sex at 3:30 in the morning when he gets up for work when I am in deep rem sleep - I'm lucky when I can even get to sleep these days) - this happened yesterday and he fumed all day and when he got home basically let me know that he feels that he is a chore to me...wont go into it, but I am very lovely dovey but he can be a spoiled brat sometimes lol. Get over I say. If he spent half the time worried about my pleasure that he does with his own - things might be different! Okay, Rant over - I really hope folks cant read this board other than our own group members.

Good news - the scale is down - I need to go confirm the exact number but its 5-7 lbs. My Aria scale is finally far enough away from hubbies weight that it doesn't confuse us and ask me which one of us is on the scale - that means I am at least 8 lbs away from him - i'll take it

I've been doing my best to try and reign in the carbs, haven't been eating any bread - and have switched from vanilla latte's to cappuccinos - been eating Protein Shakes, lots of hard-boiled eggs, and ground turkey and feeling good. As always working on the hydration, which can be better. And so can the Vitamins, and waiting to drink after meals lol - working on those post rules that are so easy to break when one is far out.

[UK Cathy 977]

Talking of live music I saw Tom Jones in concert last night. Went to horse racing in York ( came out ahead!) then Tom Jones had a concert on the race course. It was really good and approx 40,000 people there. Tom is older but still great performer and of course Coops he is Welsh!!

Weight is up a bit ???????? but I'm drinking too many of my calories.

Going to Oxford tomorrow as my sons graduation is Monday. Proud Mum.

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

Kelly, I didn't know you're from the Chicago area! I love Chicago. If it weren't for the really miserable winters, I would have stayed here. I love Lake Michigan. My entire life would have been completely different if I hadn't left when I was 20 years old to go to live somewhere that never sees snow.

I do love Oregon but I wish when we moved all those years ago, we had moved to Portland. I am really stuck on the coast bc of my daughter's divorce. She can't live more than 50 miles away unless she wants to give up custody of my grandson. Now she has my adorable one year old granddaughter.

I hear ya with men and sex. It really sucks when they still want to do it and can't. Bill has tried cialis viagria, etc. ( He would kill me if he knew I told you guys this stuff) and they don't work for him. That doesn't mean he doesn't want to try constantly.

I am assured by Alex that nobody but us can read in here.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

The obsession with pills and hard ons really ticks me off - it just goes to show how utterly greedy and callous most men really are and any claims they make in the beginning are just a means to an end - their end, of satisfying themselves. The point being, that most women wouldn't give a rat's behind if their man had an unreliable boner - HE'S GOT FINGERS AND A TONGUE, HASN'T HE?? So when men complain about not having good sex lives, it is the height of self absorption. hmmph.

Unfortunately (for me) the only generous lover I have ever had, I have zero attraction to (now) and find incredibly irritating. :/

[coops 1,790]

I just love the length and breath of the topics we talk about on here...

Florinda, I love Macklemore - wel-jel you saw him live - I love going to concerts too haven't been to one in years, the last one was Take That with my hero Robbie! That was freaking awesome!

And Cathy! Mr Jones! That is too cool for school...again, wel-jel. He might be older but he can still belt out those anthems... love it. And enjoy your son's graduation and your proud mam moment.

It is horrid to read everyone's troubles - and I wish I could just give you all a big welsh cwtch! I agree with Sheryl, there isn't enough affection and it really does help... so a cyber cwtch to you all.

If I ever win the lottery, once I've bought my dream home, I would fly over and give you all a cwtch in person and then buy coffee!

[coops 1,790]

School's summer holidays have started... we are a week into it already - no break for me yet - went into school Mon,Tue, and Weds. Thursday I had a dentist appointment - two fillings - grrrr! In the evening I cut my son's hair, my friend's hair and cut and coloured her daughter's hair. Then Friday I cut my dad's hair and cut and permed my mam's hair! No rest for the wicked eh?

All week the weather has been sh"te - rain rain rain, but yesterday it was sunny. Yes! Sun in Wales... so I took advantage. In the morning we had to run the kids around... Hywel was training first thing (you should see the physic on this teenager... my! I am so proud but slightly envious of his muscle...lol) and Betty was working, so Steve and I met up and had some Breakfast out! That was lovely and something we don't do normally. In the afternoon - the sun was still out - we sat outside, with our books and read in the sun... did I say the sun was out...lol. That was a great feeling. I love reading and I love the sun, so a perfect afternoon was had. In the evening I went to the pub, it is my friends birthday, and we drank plenty of cider, had a lil dance and laughed a lot... yesterday was a good day.

Whilst I was out I was talking to my friend's mates - two guys. The one is a runner and has been for many years. We started chatting about how I never 'got the hang' of running, even though I really wanted to but because I felt I could never get the distance up I felt I had failed at it. He found this odd. He said that I should just do what I can do... walk -run, run - run, walk - walk; whatever is right for me... and that is not failing. It put a whole new perspective on it for me. I need to reignite my fitness - I know I keep saying it, but I really do... can't find my mojo but thinking about what he said has helped. He also said that perhaps I need new goals; that made sense too because even though I haven't reached my weight loss goal, I've reached and maintained my size goal.

Perhaps that is why I have stalled with the weight loss - might be a subconscious thing. I am certainly feeling and acting a little complacent about my size. I am at the very top end of my bounce now, and would like to get back down. I think after my holiday - we go away in 10 days! I will sort my head out... holiday time often leads to reflection for me so I am going to use it wisely!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

216.2 this morning. I feel worthless. Just one day of carbs in the 50g - the "indulgence" of some salted cashews and a pumpkin coconut flour muffin (that I baked) - and I gain 4 pounds.

And what is the point in going to an endocrinologist, they won't believe me, you know the drill...

Also, remember I had the extreme intestinal anguish last week? During that time and continuing, I have also had oddly placed abdominal pains. The intestinal thing was lower intestine and was 4 days of diarrhea (sorry). But this has been just at/under the bottom line of my right side ribcage, very much like the pains I used to get when I had a gallbladder and it was going bad. In fact a lot of similarity is going on with this pain and my pre-cholysystectomy pain. WTF?

Tomorrow is 60 days of this, after 60 days of similar effort last year, I had lost 19 pounds. This time - 6.

I feel like I have wasted my life. I have never found love, I have not had children, I have not contributed to the world, I have not become good at something. And now I am .... just worthless.

[UK Cathy 977]

Florinda, please don't say your worthless. That's not true. You may feel that way at times but you are worth a lot, especially to us here.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

It's my birthday next month, I am middle-aged with nothing to show for it.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

It's my birthday next month, I am middle-aged with nothing to show for it.

Don't forget, your worth is not based on your size, your marital status or income. Not your REAL worth.  You are the first person to strike down anyone who would judge solely on superficial qualities (or quantities!) Please be as kind to yourself. Find out who you really are if you don't already know! Maybe investing time in those personal qualities will bring you up again.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Florinda, we have all been there. I think you must know that our worth isn't about the kids we have or the number on the scale. Easy for me to say, I know. But I think you also know it is true.

I finally got my mammogram with follow up ultrasound. great news - no sign of cancer. Bad news, need MR next. I feel like a piece of crap that I have to be sedated to handle an MR without freaking out. Most likely implant needs to be replaced which frankly is NOt the end of the world but I feel pretty low right now, right this minute.

I think on an emotional level, i want my lifetime of obesity to be BEHIND me, but it isn't. Between this, needing hip replacement and my knees killing me it is like a constant reminder of all that history that is still my present reality.

sorry to be so depressing.

On the fun front, did a partial weekend away with Dan - I had a great time. He has a loving personality and as I mentioned I value that alot even though i am not "in love". It is nice to be with someone who genuinely feels compassion and caring to me as well as thinking I am cute.

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

I' m glad to hear that Sheryl. You need someone in your life who lifts you up, not brings you down.

 

I decided Bill was bringing me down. He's always so needy and negative. I'm trying to visit my brother and his wife and his constant texting and calling was driving me nuts. I told him not to call me anymore. Then I wrote out a very well thought out email and explained to him why this was not working for me and said I didn't think there was anything more to say. I erased his voice message without listening to it.

 

I am going to have surgery. I don't want him around if he is just going to be negative and bring me down and I told him so.

 

I am sure tomorrow there will be a book length email for me to read in response but I may delete it without reading it. I'm just so tired of it all.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

214.6 today, for no reason.

Denise, Bill has been a drain on you since you got him.

Cheryl, you need to see Trainwreck, it is so good!!!!

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

Oh yeah, that was one of the texts he sent me. We were supposed to go and see Trainwreck together so he texted me and told me he was going to go and see it

with "susan" Like I give a shit.

 

I blocked him on email and unfriended him on Facebook as well as blocking him on there so he can't send messages. I have to download an ap to block him on my phone but as soon as I can get wifi then I will do that. I can't seem to pick up a good signal here. My laptop remembers the wifi password from last week but it won't work on my phone.