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Busy day here... I was gonna fast but that didn't happen.

Anyhoo - Hubby has had his knee op and I've seen him tonight. He's ok just drowsy and feeling a bit sick. We'll know more tomo once he's seen the surgeon and had the full conversation about the state of play and what will happen next. He has terrible arthritis - too young for it, I blame years and years of footy!!

I've gotta say, my hot flashes are getting worse and worse. I've ordered progesterone cream and I'm waiting for it to be delivered... I hope it works cos I don't know how much more of this I can cope with... it is really debilitating. Last night, I woke up at 2.15am, covered in sweat, heart racing and a pounding headache. By 2.39am I had had constant flushes and felt quiet sick. I got up and had a cuppa...I just felt so awful.

There must be some way to get around these symptoms!

I've got my year check up with my TT surgeon tomo and I am bit nervous... I am going to mention the lip over my scar, but I have the feeling he will say he can 'fix' it if I pay... and I can't afford that (if I had the money I would get my bat wings done!).

On a side note I had an interesting conversation with a close friend who I work with.. she is one of the few that knows about my sleeve...anyway, she said I was looking fab and lately looking a lot smaller, she asked me how much more weight I had lost and was surprised when I said I hadn't lost much in the last year, about 8lbs. Anyway, she asked me how I felt about it all and I said that I was getting there. She said she wasn't sure that I was as somedays in work, I dress like I was still fat! This really took me back. She couldn't remember what outfit it was but she does remember it being recently. She promised to point out the fat outfit next time I wear it. How strange - I thought I was doing ok...lol!

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I've been accused of that too. My daughter always tells me I dress like I am still fat. I don't like skin tight clothes. She had my get a pair of skinny jeans but she said I bought them a size too big.

I don't want anyone to think Bill is not a great guy. He is. He's so funny, and articulate. The men in this area are all hicks with no up bringing. He has wonderful manners, dresses very well, and I do love being with him. He has plenty to do at his house, so it's not a problem if I run around all day long. It's night time. He wants us to spend the night at his house or my house as long as we spend the night together. I like to sleep alone. That is what he just does not understand. I am going to talk to him again about sleeping separately more nights. I've already talked to him about my need to see my friends and family.,

In April, we are going to San Francisco. That's going to be a lot of fun.

I am at the top end of where I want to be, so I need to get closer back to 5:2

I was 134 this morning and I'd rather be closer to 130. I'm afraid he's going to cause weight gain. He loves to go out to eat in nice restaraunts.

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Daisy, I think Bill sounds cool - to be honest he reminds me of a teenager - he sounds besotted with you! Lucky you! And he is just what you wanted. Good luck with the chat, I am sure he will understand. And don't stress about those couple of pounds - he is worth it!!

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Oh Sue thanks for the update on your man, I was wondering how he was doing. I hope he's done getting his knees fixed for a while.

Florinda, love love love Shel. Nice quote and a good reminder...

Denise, I think Bill sounds great too...any new relationship is bound to have little pushes and pulls until you settle into a groove with each other. Like Sue said he does sound wonderful/attentive to you. You deserve that!

Sheryl if you go this weekend we need pics!

We are missing some of our gals around here...how long has it been since Dorrie posted? There are others MIA (Kelly?) too but I think maybe she hasn't checked in for a long time. Hope she is ok.

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No Venice is Sinking ball this weekend - I am actually a little relieved. I have so much to get done... David's client meeting wound up being Saturday so he gives me this "he'll call me and make plans at some point". Well, I don't mean to difficult, but I also am not that available. I think Saturday I am gonna spend working on the farm and getting caught up on life.

I did go see Roseann Cash in concert last night. Very good! I am very tired today though... i just can't do these weeknight things

EX came by yesterday (planned). everything was fine but just being around him triggered some feelings of anxiety for not particular reason, but it does remind me that the more we are apart, the better i seem to be feeling.

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Denise I am so happy you have found a compatible person. I think what is funny is that when i was young I would have loved all that attention.... funny how life changes you. I love to be paid attention to, but then i need space to breathe.

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Cheri put in a request to join which I approved but she has not posted in here either.

I am down one pound today but now Bill wants to go down the coast today to the CA border. There's cute little tourist towns there. He just wants to get out of town.

His C Pap machine really bothers me and just has to understand that after sleeping alone since I was 35, it's really dificult for me to have another person in my bed . I am such a light sleeper.

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Hi guys,

Just got caught up reading - sorry I have been MIA, seems like the story of my life with the board - one more place I will try not to make myself feel guilty (I thought you guys might think I am a bad group member due to my long absences and lack of posting - that I would be asked to leave even.)

 

Weight has been decent, but I am ready for the scale to move down a bit. Glad that the sun has come out a bit -  it really makes a big difference for us up here in the NW - but many of you know that as you live here :)

 

Work is an utter sh**storm - so many politics and seismic changes occurring that I have started taking my heavy duty PTSD meds just to go in to work on teaching days (this semester I am overloaded on classes/contact hours so I am not often around to read here). Here is a recent article in a local paper that can give you guys a hint of the stress level.

 

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/cornishandmdashseattles-preeminent-art-schoolandmdashrisks-it-all/Content?oid=18915113

 

The woman who wrote that is definitely a bit sour grapes and it shows - she picked up teaching Art History classes for a minute because a core faculty member lost her battle with cancer. She should not be so sour grapes as she does not have the credentials to teach the subject in the first place - which is generally a PhD. in the discipline.

 

Even though I am supposedly considered one of the 'golden' ones slotted to be part of this new era in teaching for the college - I am struggling with how long standing respected members of our faculty team have been being treated - it is utterly outrageous, and it is outside what I consider ethical. The atmosphere feels like poison when dealing with administration - when I shut that door and am with my students, thankfully the BS all fades away.

So this semester will be my last and I am grateful to have had the opportunity - honestly, leaving work at the end of the day feels like I am escaping a burning building. How two people can come in and dismantle a 100 year old beloved arts institution in such a short amount of time is unbelievable - even writing about it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

 

I realize that I need to do quite a bit of mental digesting before I speak or write - so please accept my apologies once again for being so absent, I do think of our group often and am always inspired by everyone's honesty, resilience, and kindness.

 

Basically just trying to keep my nose above the Water line right now and asking myself how I really want to spend my days - torn up with politics or creating beauty, love, peace....I think you guys might have an inkling which choice one I am leaning towards.

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Hi guys,

Just got caught up reading - sorry I have been MIA, seems like the story of my life with the board - one more place I will try not to make myself feel guilty (I thought you guys might think I am a bad group member due to my long absences and lack of posting - that I would be asked to leave even.)

Weight has been decent, but I am ready for the scale to move down a bit. Glad that the sun has come out a bit - it really makes a big difference for us up here in the NW - but many of you know that as you live here :)

Work is an utter sh**storm - so many politics and seismic changes occurring that I have started taking my heavy duty PTSD meds just to go in to work on teaching days (this semester I am overloaded on classes/contact hours so I am not often around to read here). Here is a recent article in a local paper that can give you guys a hint of the stress level.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/cornishandmdashseattles-preeminent-art-schoolandmdashrisks-it-all/Content?oid=18915113

The woman who wrote that is definitely a bit sour grapes and it shows - she picked up teaching Art History classes for a minute because a core faculty member lost her battle with cancer. She should not be so sour grapes as she does not have the credentials to teach the subject in the first place - which is generally a PhD. in the discipline.

Even though I am supposedly considered one of the 'golden' ones slotted to be part of this new era in teaching for the college - I am struggling with how long standing respected members of our faculty team have been being treated - it is utterly outrageous, and it is outside what I consider ethical. The atmosphere feels like poison when dealing with administration - when I shut that door and am with my students, thankfully the BS all fades away.

So this semester will be my last and I am grateful to have had the opportunity - honestly, leaving work at the end of the day feels like I am escaping a burning building. How two people can come in and dismantle a 100 year old beloved arts institution in such a short amount of time is unbelievable - even writing about it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

I realize that I need to do quite a bit of mental digesting before I speak or write - so please accept my apologies once again for being so absent, I do think of our group often and am always inspired by everyone's honesty, resilience, and kindness.

Basically just trying to keep my nose above the Water line right now and asking myself how I really want to spend my days - torn up with politics or creating beauty, love, peace....I think you guys might have an inkling which choice one I am leaning towards.

Nice to hear from you, what a mess! The workers at my job are currently organizing. Do you have Union representation? We saw so much disrespect and decline in our program, we didn't see any other way to go. We are voting in 20 days.

Just read the article... YIKES! What a stresser that must be!

Edited by feedyoureye

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Okay, I just got berated by my entire office for my eating habits, or lack of eating rather. The chastized me but good, demanding that I eat more - at LEAST 1600 calories! I'm not "out" to my colleagues, so I had to restrain my tongue and just smile and nod but it frustrates me. They don't understand, my body only loses weight when I eat 600 calories a day.

Oh BTW - My scale arrived yesterday. I popped fresh batteries in, jumped on and ......

same weight I was 36 days ago :/

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Globe the good news is no gain! If you've only been eating 600 calories a day you were expecting some loss. Only u know your body. I have no insight to keep the scale moving down. I also have lowered the calories with smaller meals and low low carbs like under 50. I expect to see loss. So frustrating!

 

Hey. No scale for over a month and there was no gain that's a big plus

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Florinda, me and you are sooo on the same page - I think our scales are ganging up against us!

 

I have been weighed and measured in Curves this morning... so disappointed to find that my body fat is still over 30% - I honestly thought it had come down.  Over 80lns lost and my body fat is still too high...FFS!!!

 

I am really frustrated and feel like face planting a box of chocolate... I won't but you get the idea!

 

Arghhhhh... a part of me feels so determined that I don't want to eat ever again and another part of me feels like I want to eat anything and everything.

I really need to get focused!

 

Okay, rant over *breathes deeply*

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My body fat is in the 28-29 range and doesn't seem to move at all either...

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How does one measure your body fat?

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Georgia, the lovely lady in Curves gave me a machine to hold and that gave me y BMI and body fat percentage - a crude form I am sure but an indicator non the less... my scales at home also do it, again a crude form... there are more sophisticated ways if you want to pay for them.

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