Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I have come across people in my life that have such a negotiate opinion on weight loss surgery. They say its the easy way out or they have said that is the lazy way... Wouldn't being lazy be not doing anything about it at all? Some people just don't understand that just bc you have weight loss surgery does not mean that you didn't work just as hard as the person who lost it on their own! It is a physical and mental transformation for anyone to lose weight! Anyone else come across this sort of thing? I'm just getting started but getting a lot of slack from family and friends about my choice. Not a lot of supports in my life, just wish I could make them understand!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've gotten some slack from friends too....but unless someone has a weight problem they will never know.....as long as you're ok with yourself, then the hell with them....Good luck on your quest!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Easy way my ass!! Sorry for the language but I became so fed up with that crap about it being the easy way out. I hardly think having more than half your stomach removed, eating less than 800 calories a day and aches and pains to make even the toughest man shed some tears is EASY!! What we did was save our lives and that my friend takes dedication and a strength no one outside of weight loss surgery will experience. The only thing that matters right now is your happiness and health and if they don't want to be on board with your happiness and health, to hell with them. Sorry but I went through the same thing with some people including my girl who couldn't handle the change and left me after 10 years but I love myself and I love that I will live longer and no one is going to take that from me. Good luck in your journey and know that you're not alone and we are here for you :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been very fortunate in the support I get, and I'm thankful for my family. My husband is a vocal cheerleader for me, and is proud of me for what I've done so far, That's actually pretty interesting, since in general he isn't a fan of WLS as a solution - he still believes that most people could solve the problem with diet and exercise. However, he also understands that there are conditions under which it is the best option, and he DOES get that it's not just a magic bullet and requires work.

While I'm not secretive about the surgery, I'm also somewhat selective about who I tell, and the reason why I tell someone might have nothing to do with how close they are to me personally. I have no problems answering questions about it, or why I chose to do it, nor am I swearing anyone to secrecy when I do tell them. However, I see no reason to deliberately open myself up to negativity if the person had no real reason to know. I know several people in my life who would be negative, and I have not chosen to share it with them at this point. Maybe down the road if the time is right and they ask me in a way that makes me interested in responding I will discuss it with some of them, but otherwise, none of their business.

I'm sorry you're getting such flack from people who should be your biggest support, cdunn! Just remember that if you can't find support elsewhere, we'll do our best here to give you what you need!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do it for you! I always get pissed when people say things like its the easy way out. I bet more than half couldn't even do the two week pre op diet. It's definitely tough and it gets better with time. I'm a little over a month andim down 57 lbs and I feel great. You know yourself better than anyone else so if you want to do it sign up and don't look back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have come across people in my life that have such a negotiate opinion on weight loss surgery. They say its the easy way out or they have said that is the lazy way... Wouldn't being lazy be not doing anything about it at all? Some people just don't understand that just bc you have weight loss surgery does not mean that you didn't work just as hard as the person who lost it on their own! It is a physical and mental transformation for anyone to lose weight! Anyone else come across this sort of thing? I'm just getting started but getting a lot of slack from family and friends about my choice. Not a lot of supports in my life' date=' just wish I could make them understand![/quote']

I can relate Ian so alone in this don't have a surgery date yet. I am all alone no support from family. Adult children won't even babysit my little ones cause they won't support me in surgery. I will be going to Mexico all alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry that you have people in your life like that. For the most part everyone I've told have been supportive. One person doesn't seem to really "get it". She really into her weight loss drink stuff and would rather me try that first before having the surgery but like I tried to explain, I've tried all that's stuff and while it works for a whole it's not a life long commitment. She says her sister had WLS and is miserable everyday, throws up and stuff. I told her then she must not be doing it right. Yeah got a nasty look for that. But oh well. I've decided to tell everyone once I've had the surgery cause sooner or later they are going to see half of me disappear. If they don't like it oh well. Unless you have tried to walk a mile in my shoes you have no right to judge me on my choice. I have decided to improve my health and my life. I sure hope those people that don't support you have a change of heart. If not you know we all support you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry that you have people in your life like that. For the most part everyone I've told have been supportive. One person doesn't seem to really "get it". She really into her weight loss drink stuff and would rather me try that first before having the surgery but like I tried to explain' date=' I've tried all that's stuff and while it works for a whole it's not a life long commitment. She says her sister had WLS and is miserable everyday, throws up and stuff. I told her then she must not be doing it right. Yeah got a nasty look for that. But oh well. I've decided to tell everyone once I've had the surgery cause sooner or later they are going to see half of me disappear. If they don't like it oh well. Unless you have tried to walk a mile in my shoes you have no right to judge me on my choice. I have decided to improve my health and my life. I sure hope those people that don't support you have a change of heart. If not you know we all support you.[/quote']

Thank u so much. I needed to hear that. I truly appreciate your kind supportive words.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I too was frustrated with the judgment that was coming my way. I was sleeved on 7/9 and honestly it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Keep coming on and writing the support here is awesome. I have realized that their judgments and fears are about them, not me... This will change your life and as tough as this week has been I would do it again. Best of luck to you!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have come across people in my life that have such a negotiate opinion on weight loss surgery. They say its the easy way out or they have said that is the lazy way... Wouldn't being lazy be not doing anything about it at all? Some people just don't understand that just bc you have weight loss surgery does not mean that you didn't work just as hard as the person who lost it on their own! It is a physical and mental transformation for anyone to lose weight! Anyone else come across this sort of thing? I'm just getting started but getting a lot of slack from family and friends about my choice. Not a lot of supports in my life, just wish I could make them understand!

You have support in your life - you have us! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have come across people in my life that have such a negotiate opinion on weight loss surgery. They say its the easy way out or they have said that is the lazy way... Wouldn't being lazy be not doing anything about it at all? Some people just don't understand that just bc you have weight loss surgery does not mean that you didn't work just as hard as the person who lost it on their own! It is a physical and mental transformation for anyone to lose weight! Anyone else come across this sort of thing? I'm just getting started but getting a lot of slack from family and friends about my choice. Not a lot of supports in my life, just wish I could make them understand!

I was ready for these types of conversations. Thankfully, they never came. I armed myself with lots of information and the belief that unless you have walked in my shoes, you don't know my struggles.

Be confident in your decision and when you need more support, log in here. Best of luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unfortunately there are a lot of people who speak without thinking. They say insensitive things because they haven't walked in your shoes and don't know the reality of your experience. Be strong! A person who does this surgery has to be pretty single minded in their desire to get it done. You may have to ignore the naysayers and let them take some time to grow up while you get healthier.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can relate Ian so alone in this don't have a surgery date yet. I am all alone no support from family. Adult children won't even babysit my little ones cause they won't support me in surgery. I will be going to Mexico all alone.

Sorry to hear that, this is a tough thing to go thru alone. Im still pre op and I have a very supportive hubby but because he doesn't have weight issues or food issues he tends to get tired of talking about all the time which I cant help talking about it lol so anyways im here along with a lot of others should you need to chat!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I want to thank u all for supporting me and reminding me that we all have a support system when it comes to this website. Thank u all again and I am going to have the surgery with it with out family. : )

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×