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Struggling with this decision



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I've just found this wonderful forum, and have my surgical consult/psyc eval/dietician appt coming up on 1/10/07. I'm really fighting the urge to cancel this appt. My weight has fluctuated for the past 17 yrs from 185-225. My problem is compulsive overeating. I can do wonderfully with a diet/exercise program for about 3 mos - loose weight - then something sends me right back to my destructive binging/sedentary behaviors. This has been my cycle for all these years.

I'm sure I have a whole area of emotional issues that I have not yet had the time or energy to explore, and I keep thinking that maybe I sould try to work on these before going the surgery route. I know how to eat healthy, but my binging behavior sabatoges my dieting efforts. When I'm able to emotionally, I really love to exercise. I keep questioning why I can't consistantly maintain a healthy lifestyle.

My BMI is "just barely over" 35, and I do have hypertension and depression. I just want this cycle to stop and to be free from these issues I've suffered with for so long. Is this surgery the answer?

:party:

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Hey Sophie..

Of course I am not a doc or anything, but what is wrong with working on all issues at once?

It is a good thing that you recognize some of your destructive behaviors. Dig deep and figure out why you have them. Sometimes people do those things so they have a reason to be unhappy.

Perhaps if you get a band and start having some success with that as a "tool", you can get back on track with exercise and other healthy changes.

Based on your words, you do have some artificial barriers you put in your path, but you can make a choice to over come them.

Life is a journey and the view out the window is what you make of it.... but first you have to have the courage to get in the car.. relax and enjoy the ride..

Mike

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Hello, Sophie, I too have my surgical consult/ phyc eval/ dietician appt coming up next week on Monday. I learned of this website back in October and it has been tremondous help in learning all about the lapband and helping me make up my mind. I have been over 200 lbs for about 12 yrs now. I have tried dieting and never had much success. I too have been have very emotional here lately, but now the time is closer I know I'm making the right decision I know it will be hard but I'm ready for a real change in my life. My BMI is 40 I have borderline hypertension and some depression. I have been going thru pictures lately and EVERY picture I have taken with my children I'm overweight and I want to change that I want to be normal not fat. I think your hypertension problem is enough to want to make changes but I agree you have to be ready emotionally, but I don't think we will ever be 100 % sure this is what we need until we have it done. Just do your research and I would say not to cancel your appt's unless your sure you don't want to do it..... I say if I was going to loose it I would have already and why let anymore time in my life pass by without making a change.... GOOD LUCK in your decision... It is yours to make.... :party:

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I have been banded about 6 months, I have no problems, thought the surgery was a peice of cake. Ha! However, I must warn you that you will still be hungry, You will find ways to cheat it. It does not help head hunger. I was shocked to discover that. WOW! I thought that this was a life on easy street. Heck no! I get mad a holidays. I can't eat near as much at one time. However, chips, dips and ice cream SLIDE right down.

I have lost 60 pounds, about 10 pounds a month. BUT! I run 4 miles a day and bike about 50 miles per week. All started 3 months ago. until that I was only losing 1 pd per week. Not the bands fault. MY fault. I drink with every meal. I can't help it. I probaly will continue it. As long as I lose 1 pd a week and it stays off I don't care!!!

I don't think you should be scared. It is a easy surgery. They weight will come off. Go for it. Just know that it is NOT MAGIC!!! It still takes work and making good choices. I wish some one has told me that. Maybe they did, I just did not listen.........

Good luck

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Thank you for your helpful responses.

Mike, your statement "Sometimes people do those things so they have a reason to be unhappy" hit me like a ton of bricks (I'm going to have to explore this further). Working on all these things at once seems quite overwhelming, but you are right - it can be done if I dig deep. The serenity prayer has been my mantra lately. "The courage to change the things I can....."

It's also true for me that if I was going to loose the weight with the current tools I have, I would have already. I do need more help, and this surgery is something I haven't tried yet, and maybe it will force me to work on the emotional eating issues.

I understand the hunger will be an issue and this will not be an easy fix. My big question is....Will the surgery stop the binges? If so, it could be my answer.

I've had my gall bladder removed laproscopically, which was easy, so I'm not affraid of the actual surgery. My biggest fear....failing.......again.

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I think the binge will certainly stop. I can't eat but so much even though I don't have restriction. I consider my self a band failure but look at me now. Double chin almost gone..... then 280. now 220 3451wqu.jpg

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Thank you for your helpful responses.

Mike, your statement "Sometimes people do those things so they have a reason to be unhappy" hit me like a ton of bricks (I'm going to have to explore this further). Working on all these things at once seems quite overwhelming, but you are right - it can be done if I dig deep. The serenity prayer has been my mantra lately. "The courage to change the things I can....."

Thanks for sharing that with me. I didn't want to be too forward, but I have known some very wonderful people, but for some reason they didn't see it. They could never say it, but I could tell that in their heart they did not feel they deserved to be happy. (hint: we ALL do)

Warm wishes for a happy new year!

Mike

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Hi Sophie248,

I was in the same boat...I decided on it and changed my mind. Then I decided again and changed my mind. Finally I've decided to go through with it. I really believe I am making the right choice. I will be banded on 1/11...yes I am nervous, but not as I was before. I know it will be a learning process for me and I'm ready. I reccommend making the best choice that will benefit you! Good luck on your decision!

Be BLESSED!

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I Would Like To Say That The Band Has Stopped My Binges But It Hasn't. I Just Get Sicker Now Afterwards Than I Did Before. I Wish I Would Have Worked More On The Issues Around Why I Binge Before I Had My Surgery. Now I Worry Every Time I Binge About Whether Or Not My Band Will Slip Or If My Pouch Will Stretch. If Either Would Happen It Would Be A Very Costly Mistake For Me Being That I Was Self-pay And It Cost $17,500. I Don't Think You Should Cancel Your Appointment, I Just Think Some Soul Searching Would Be A Good Idea Before Hand. I Have Lost 36 Pounds And I Definately Don't Think I Could Have Did It Without The Band. I Just Wish I Didn't Abuse The Tool I Have Been Given. You Can Obviously Tell What My New Years Resolution Will Be. Good Luck On Your Journey And Just Remember To Be Truly Healthy We Have To Work On Mind And Body.

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Sheila, glad you are going through with it. You will love your band.

Sophie, best of luck to you with your decision. The band isn't a quick fix but its a great tool. Hopefully you will decide to go through with it. I don't regret it at all. Its noon and I'm satisified with a Protein Shake and a bowl of Soup. Not like before, that is for sure.

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Thanks juliegeraci, I'm excited more than ever! Your weigt loss is super!!

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Hi Sophie :)

I can absolutely relate to your questions. I have been going through the same issues. My first consult is Jan. 17th. I have been in and out with it, but this board has really helped me. My doctor really discouraged me. I'm still not sure if she is going to go along with it (mostly out of concern for me, at least I think) as I don't think she has had much experience with it, but I am plugging along and will seek another primary dr. if need be. The support meetings really help. My weight management group requires 1 pre-op support informational meeting and 2 post-op support visits. The post-op support meeting helped the most. There was not one person, and this was a large meeting, who regretted it. One women told me her only regret was not doing it sooner.

I still plan to attend either Weight watchers or OA, I have not decided which yet, to deal with the issues that got me here to begin with.

Best of luck Sophie!

There are a ton of great people here. :mad:

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Maryrose, from my experience I think OA is a better program. They work on the root of the problem. Weight Watchers is more about quantity of food but not necessarily about the behavior . Good luck to you regarding which program you choose. It will all help regardless.

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pplqueen: thanks for sharing the pics.. YOU LOOK GREAT.....

as for the subject of this thread.... We ALL have food issues... and yes I think that some soul searching is a much needed exercise. This is a tool, and one that isn't going away once implanted.... I think you must be willing to accept the changes it requires, and come to grips that you will be losing your best friend "food" (it is something I am working on internally myself) Just like my daily ritual of drinking OVER a pot of coffee... a ton of diet dr pepper...... all things that have to change once I have the band.

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pplqueen - you look great and yu think your a band failure?! yu look amazing and I wouldlike to "fail" like you - you are my inspiration girl!!!!! I am one week post op and am having a hard time - questioning what the heck I did to myself - I know there is a light at the end f the tunnel and you help me to see it - thanks!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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