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Mindful Body... and other thoughts on mental eating



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So I finally got my surgery date... July 22!!! It has been a long 6 months of tests and insurance fights to get to this point and although I feel ready for the surgery, the thought of being mentally prepared still lingers. I do realize, for myself, that I am not overweight because I am just a more hungry person than a thin person... I know I am overweight because I eat when I am not physically hungry at all.. just bored , sad, happy, tired or just to reward myself for a long day at work. I wonder what will happen with those feelings when I physically cannot eat. So much of my family time has been focused around meals , I guess I am just worried that even though I am aware there will be mental challenges I wonder If I will feel sad or frustrated?!! How long will that last ? Any advice or comments or overcoming the mental anguish that is sure to follow the surgery when I can no longer eat?? Thanks everyone :)

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Hey Vegas - Just read your post. I am a week post-sleeve. I believe that pre-surgery, you and I had a great deal in common relative to our relationship (good or bad) with food.

I can tell you that I was not required to do any diet whatsoever prior to the liver reduction diet. So, I was concerned that I would be hitting a concrete wall with that part. Frankly, I did a great deal of prep work ahead of time to teach myself how to divert my thinking from what I call "the absence of food".

What ended up being the most successful strategy was allowing myself to... put ME first. NOT something easy for me. Sometimes, I admit, I was a bit cranky. Other times I just had to walk away.

The nerves for the surgery did take over some of my thoughts about food that is for sure. No matter how many times people told me not to worry or "let it go", it did not resonate.

What worked was saying "I HAVE to put myself first." "I NEED this done." "This WILL work" The negative self-talk which I call self trash talk has to stop. If left to my own devices I would beat up on myself.

There are other little pleasures in life that I worked on enjoying during that time. I know, not food. But it worked. A warm shower, hot bath, buying some wild flowers, calling a friend I had not talked to in a great deal of time or looking at other sleeved patient's before and after photos.

So what has happened to date?? On the liver reduction diet, I was fine. I did what I was told. They said "Skim", I didn't say "but I like 2 percent"...I just did it. I suspect you will too.

Surgery is serious, they need your liver reduced, you will do it. You come out of surgery. You are committed to treating yourself right. You will do it.

I stopped worrying about how I would feel "if" something happened and just went back to thinking about WHY I needed this and how I got here. You'll do fine. I promise. :)

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I can completely understand that relationship with food - I think we can compare it to a bad relationship. Even though it's hard to walk away from - the bottom line is that the damage had to stop. Unfortunately with food, you just can't banish it from your life. ( I so wish I could) I really can't say what my reaction will be to this surgery - I intend to make the right food choices and since I have used food as a crutch for so long - I have my therapist to help me work thru the things I have used food to mask.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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