tired of being lectured on here

[SMO 193]

Hourglass, thank you for getting it.

[Fiddleman 4,376]

Hourglass' date=' thank you for getting it.[/quote']

I agree. That is very honest and well said. Thank you for your insights on human nature.

[Michellemo 161]

My gosh hourglass that was great! You hit the nail on the head!

[gmanbat 5,889]

same here!!! it takes a lot for someone to truly admit to themselves the ugly truth. sometimes denial can cross over into an uncontrollable state of delusion. i commend you on your honesty and i wish you the best of success on your weight loss journey.

i have seen people who are 30-50lbs overweight due to medication, metabolic disorders, etc but to be honest i have never seen anybody who was 100lbs+ overweight from medication and/or metabolic disorders and I've spent over 15 years studying both psychology and metabolism (on a cellular level/biology). you know, you can lead a horse to Water but you can not make them drink even if they are dying. and when it comes to issues of morbid obesity, it really is a life or death matter.

some people are unable to cope with what they have done to themselves. i've taken prednisone, and was unable to walk for 2 years after some injuries that i had. i would ride in my medical transport van and we would go to a fast food place and get 3 meat shwaramas, poutine (fries with all types of delicious stuff layered on it and topped in cheese and gravy), 4 pieces of baklava, then have a few pieces of cheese pizza at physical therapy.

i would still go home and have what my household considered a healthy balanced meal. Grilled chicken, green Beans, tomatoes, cabbage, rice, and a banana. i would often have seconds. my eating was so secret. even people who LIVED with me thought that i was just overweight based on having seconds at most meals and not being active. because i gained most of my weight after my injuries (i went from about 175 to 375 in just over a year and a half then another 150 crept on over 4 years) my mother in law was from Somalia and she was quite large and i added rice and banana to almost every meal (which is a very Somalian tradition).

people would actually defend me and say 'she doesnt eat that much - i have seconds too and i havent gained as much as she has, it has to be her metabolism'. because people try to make the illogical logical so they can cope with it. but it's just PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to gain massive weight unless you are consuming and storing those calories. if you are in a coma and no one gives you nourishment you are going to waste away. no matter what type of crazy medications you are on, no matter what type of crazy edema you have. it's physically impossible.

it is a whole lot to mentally deal with and maybe the OP is just not there yet. as frustrating as it is to witness a person in that dangerous of a state, no one can FORCE her to see the light, you know?

it just really hurts my heart because people out here are trying so hard to get this surgery to save their lives. people are mortgaging their homes or taking out loans to even go out of the country to get this surgery. and then when you see someone so defiant and abrasive and unappreciative of it...that just breaks my heart. and then when they become HOSTILE to the point of wanting to pipe off at a community dedicated towards getting healthy it's just so painful. obviously the OP is just unaware. and you know, hey. it is what it is.

imagine going to an AA meeting or an NA meeting and you have that one person there who wants to rant at everybody like "Oh, yeah...I have 100 DUIs, I ran into a few houses, I drove my car into a lake, but I do not have an alcohol problem, I do not have a drug problem. Every DUI I got was because I had just used Listerine right before I drove. I always drink in moderation. My body just doesn't process alcohol well so that is not my fault but yet I am going to keep drinking. I don't know why I am here I am sick of hearing about being clean and sober." You'd want to pull your hair out!

Well, maybe not after the sleeve LOL. I want to keep each and every strand I currently have.

Well said!

[buplee 556]

same here!!! it takes a lot for someone to truly admit to themselves the ugly truth. sometimes denial can cross over into an uncontrollable state of delusion. i commend you on your honesty and i wish you the best of success on your weight loss journey.

i have seen people who are 30-50lbs overweight due to medication' date=' metabolic disorders, etc but to be honest i have never seen anybody who was 100lbs+ overweight from medication and/or metabolic disorders and I've spent over 15 years studying both psychology and metabolism (on a cellular level/biology). you know, you can lead a horse to Water but you can not make them drink even if they are dying. and when it comes to issues of morbid obesity, it really is a life or death matter.

some people are unable to cope with what they have done to themselves. i've taken prednisone, and was unable to walk for 2 years after some injuries that i had. i would ride in my medical transport van and we would go to a fast food place and get 3 meat shwaramas, poutine (fries with all types of delicious stuff layered on it and topped in cheese and gravy), 4 pieces of baklava, then have a few pieces of cheese pizza at physical therapy.

i would still go home and have what my household considered a healthy balanced meal. Grilled chicken, green Beans, tomatoes, cabbage, rice, and a banana. i would often have seconds. my eating was so secret. even people who LIVED with me thought that i was just overweight based on having seconds at most meals and not being active. because i gained most of my weight after my injuries (i went from about 175 to 375 in just over a year and a half then another 150 crept on over 4 years) my mother in law was from Somalia and she was quite large and i added rice and banana to almost every meal (which is a very Somalian tradition).

people would actually defend me and say 'she doesnt eat that much - i have seconds too and i havent gained as much as she has, it has to be her metabolism'. because people try to make the illogical logical so they can cope with it. but it's just PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to gain massive weight unless you are consuming and storing those calories. if you are in a coma and no one gives you nourishment you are going to waste away. no matter what type of crazy medications you are on, no matter what type of crazy edema you have. it's physically impossible.

it is a whole lot to mentally deal with and maybe the OP is just not there yet. as frustrating as it is to witness a person in that dangerous of a state, no one can FORCE her to see the light, you know?

it just really hurts my heart because people out here are trying so hard to get this surgery to save their lives. people are mortgaging their homes or taking out loans to even go out of the country to get this surgery. and then when you see someone so defiant and abrasive and unappreciative of it...that just breaks my heart. and then when they become HOSTILE to the point of wanting to pipe off at a community dedicated towards getting healthy it's just so painful. obviously the OP is just unaware. and you know, hey. it is what it is.

imagine going to an AA meeting or an NA meeting and you have that one person there who wants to rant at everybody like "Oh, yeah...I have 100 DUIs, I ran into a few houses, I drove my car into a lake, but I do not have an alcohol problem, I do not have a drug problem. Every DUI I got was because I had just used Listerine right before I drove. I always drink in moderation. My body just doesn't process alcohol well so that is not my fault but yet I am going to keep drinking. I don't know why I am here I am sick of hearing about being clean and sober." You'd want to pull your hair out!

Well, maybe not after the sleeve LOL. I want to keep each and every strand I currently have.[/quote']

I could not have said it better. Bravo for your honest post, I think you summed up how most of us got where we were before surgery. Good luck to you.

Sent from my iPad using VST

[LouiseC 1,029]

@hourglass an awesome post. Thank you.

[FeeIsMe2 508]

same here!!! it takes a lot for someone to truly admit to themselves the ugly truth. sometimes denial can cross over into an uncontrollable state of delusion. i commend you on your honesty and i wish you the best of success on your weight loss journey.

i have seen people who are 30-50lbs overweight due to medication, metabolic disorders, etc but to be honest i have never seen anybody who was 100lbs+ overweight from medication and/or metabolic disorders and I've spent over 15 years studying both psychology and metabolism (on a cellular level/biology). you know, you can lead a horse to Water but you can not make them drink even if they are dying. and when it comes to issues of morbid obesity, it really is a life or death matter.

some people are unable to cope with what they have done to themselves. i've taken prednisone, and was unable to walk for 2 years after some injuries that i had. i would ride in my medical transport van and we would go to a fast food place and get 3 meat shwaramas, poutine (fries with all types of delicious stuff layered on it and topped in cheese and gravy), 4 pieces of baklava, then have a few pieces of cheese pizza at physical therapy.

i would still go home and have what my household considered a healthy balanced meal. Grilled chicken, green Beans, tomatoes, cabbage, rice, and a banana. i would often have seconds. my eating was so secret. even people who LIVED with me thought that i was just overweight based on having seconds at most meals and not being active. because i gained most of my weight after my injuries (i went from about 175 to 375 in just over a year and a half then another 150 crept on over 4 years) my mother in law was from Somalia and she was quite large and i added rice and banana to almost every meal (which is a very Somalian tradition).

people would actually defend me and say 'she doesnt eat that much - i have seconds too and i havent gained as much as she has, it has to be her metabolism'. because people try to make the illogical logical so they can cope with it. but it's just PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to gain massive weight unless you are consuming and storing those calories. if you are in a coma and no one gives you nourishment you are going to waste away. no matter what type of crazy medications you are on, no matter what type of crazy edema you have. it's physically impossible.

it is a whole lot to mentally deal with and maybe the OP is just not there yet. as frustrating as it is to witness a person in that dangerous of a state, no one can FORCE her to see the light, you know?

it just really hurts my heart because people out here are trying so hard to get this surgery to save their lives. people are mortgaging their homes or taking out loans to even go out of the country to get this surgery. and then when you see someone so defiant and abrasive and unappreciative of it...that just breaks my heart. and then when they become HOSTILE to the point of wanting to pipe off at a community dedicated towards getting healthy it's just so painful. obviously the OP is just unaware. and you know, hey. it is what it is.

imagine going to an AA meeting or an NA meeting and you have that one person there who wants to rant at everybody like "Oh, yeah...I have 100 DUIs, I ran into a few houses, I drove my car into a lake, but I do not have an alcohol problem, I do not have a drug problem. Every DUI I got was because I had just used Listerine right before I drove. I always drink in moderation. My body just doesn't process alcohol well so that is not my fault but yet I am going to keep drinking. I don't know why I am here I am sick of hearing about being clean and sober." You'd want to pull your hair out!

Well, maybe not after the sleeve LOL. I want to keep each and every strand I currently have.

Thank you! You are freaking awesome! That is the best post, I have ever read!

[jmg79 10]

I agree with you. The first question I posted someone told me I was having head hunger when in fact my stomach was literally rumbling but I couldn't eat anything. Very good point. I understand about eating well and exercising. I have done that off and on pre-surgery and it didn't always help. Good luck in your journey!

Sent from my SM-G900V using the BariatricPal App

[careya123 260]

My use of this site has gone way down too, because I was getting so many preachy responses to my posts. I only put up with that from my family.

[Dub 9,922]

Wow......this one got pulled from the archives and the dust blown off it.....and here it is.

I tried to read through a few pages of it......and had to stop.

"I'm fat and it's not my fault" is sort of what I walked away with.

All I know is that I'm certainly fat and there may be a number of reasons why.....however, there are plenty that are within my span of control and I am working on those and trying to gain control over the rest of the reasons. I value the insight, assistance and constructive criticisms that come forth from other BP members.

Hopefully the OP of this thread found a way to do likewise and will update us with their current state at some point. There is likely a lot we could learn from them..........

[Levita 50]

My metabolism was also low and most my family was big...however it wasnt until ichanged my eating lifestyle..incorpirating more veggies and healthy stuff into my daily intake, altho i didnt deprive myself at all from eating my pizza n normal foods...but when i did, i did it moderately. This helped me alot!! I also tried walking at least 30 mins a day...60 when i was up for it...the point is to burn more calories than u consume and cut back on sodas n sugery stuff. If ur gonna do it, dont over do it this worked for me

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[Barry W 336]

While certainly there are times that constructive criticism is requested and/or due, I can also agree that sometimes the scolding tone that some people take is a little much. No one is perfect, and no one likes being talked down to.

[Levita 50]

While certainly there are times that constructive criticism is requested and/or due, I can also agree that sometimes the scolding tone that some people take is a little much. No one is perfect, and no one likes being talked down to.

I agree just take in the good advice and pitch the negatives...

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[Barry W 336]

I agree with you. The first question I posted someone told me I was having head hunger when in fact my stomach was literally rumbling but I couldn't eat anything. Very good point. I understand about eating well and exercising. I have done that off and on pre-surgery and it didn't always help. Good luck in your journey!

Sent from my SM-G900V using the BariatricPal App

*LOL* That one has cracked me up also. Not saying it's not possible to have hunger that's driven by the mind alone, but, when you have someone eating 500-800 calories a day, telling them confidently that they aren't really hungry, they are just imagining they are hungry - that is hubris.

[Tssiemer1 549]

My goodness people. If you don't want to be told the truth then don't ask people who have been there. Keep asking your fat friends how to do it.