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To tell or not to tell



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I have not problem about telling people, my friends, that I will have my suegery . But today, talking with 3 psichoanalist, they thinl ot os better not to tell peopleand just tell them yoiu ate lossing weight with a diet. I am

Not the kimd of secretivevperson but would like to know what do you thinl. Are you yelling your friendscand relatives? Thanks

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Hi. I'm telling my family but, no one else. I am typically private so it's nothing different. I want to stay focused and positive leading up to the surgery. If I tell me people, it will be after.

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I tell anyone who asks. I do this because I want people who were in the same situation, or worse, than me to see that there is hope. People have been talking about what I did in my office and now 2 other people are going to seminars and one is almost done with her 6 months nutrition visits (required by our insurance).

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to pee or not to pee that is the question. just tell them it makes life easier

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I told no one. People can be mean, intentionally and unintentionally. I am single, so I have no one to tell really. I didn't want to worry my family or friends - they have enough going on without worrying about my weight issues.

My advice - think long and hard before you tell anyone...once it is out there, there's no going back.

Best of luck to you. Do what is best for you, everybody is different about it.

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I am a psychotherapist and I've told everyone, even my clients. My bf objected and when I was skinny I experienced her walking to the door with her head hanging down and her external voice said "I can't handle you skinniness." Then I adopted my screen name "miss skinniness." I love it! And she finally did come around. :) now she's a hard cookie to crack. :)

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I don't really have many close friends and I think it would kind of be weird to post on Facebook that I had that surgery so only my family knows and not even everyone and come surgery I think I'll just tell those who ask.

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My parents are helping pay for my surgery so they know. My boyfriend knows cause he will have to help around the house more. His parents know because I'm going to need grandparents to send the kids to while recovering. And 3 friends.. That's it. Not telling my 4 brothers or 2 sister in laws no aunts uncles cousins. Too many controlling people in my life that would think they know more about it then I do with all my research... Maybe once it's done and no one can try to talk me out of it. Not because I would listen to them but just because I don't want to hear what they would have to say. Lol

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My co-workers all know.. I work for an oncology company so they are all about health and support their employees.. So much that my approval/auth was sent in within 24hrs for surgery. But only 2 of my family members know other than my husband.. I would rather them just wonder when they do see me :)!!!

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I work at a hospital and people are smart and I have a hard time not telling the truth so I found it was much easier to share the information. There are some that are less supportive than others but that is true of any situation. People in my life know I have tried to lose weight before, more than once, and to all of a sudden lose weight "magically" is a quite a stretch so the truth seemed easier. I don't regret.

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I told no one. People can be mean, intentionally and unintentionally. I am single, so I have no one to tell really. I didn't want to worry my family or friends - they have enough going on without worrying about my weight issues.

My advice - think long and hard before you tell anyone...once it is out there, there's no going back.

Best of luck to you. Do what is best for you, everybody is different about it.

Couldn't have said this better myself! I totally agree with you. With all that being said, naturally my husband knows & 2 very close friends who live out of state & I did tell one of my neighbors (who doesn't talk to the other neighbors) in case I need help with my special needs son. That's it. Those 4 people know how important it is to me for it to remain private. I just don't want to deal with the negativity & the "can't you just join Weight Watchers??" If someone says to me "you took the easy way out" somebody better hold me back! :angry: That's why its no one's business! Maybe you have better friends/relatives than I have. So just do what's right for you. If it's to hard to keep a secret, then just tell...but be prepared for everyone's input.

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I told certain people in my life, and it has been a life saver. Knowing you have that support will make your recovery process a lot better. Trust me. I just got sleeved Tuesday and knowing people are there if need be makes me relaxed so I can heal.

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I think it is a personal choice and I plan on taking a "need to know" approach. I need to tell an out of state uncle as my next of kin in case anything should go terribly wrong, my next door neighbor in case of emergency, my best friend for moral support and that's about it.

If anyone inquires with what I feel are good intentions, I certainly won't lie ... but if I feel they are going to be less than supportive, I will keep mum about the procedure or give a vague "stomach problems" answer. I don't owe anyone an explanation about what I do with my body.

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I work at a hospital and people are smart and I have a hard time not telling the truth so I found it was much easier to share the information. There are some that are less supportive than others but that is true of any situation. People in my life know I have tried to lose weight before' date=' more than once, and to all of a sudden lose weight "magically" is a quite a stretch so the truth seemed easier. I don't regret.[/quote']

That's exactly how I felt. I felt like I had been lying to my closest friends at work, when I had to take a day off here and there for appointments. I felt like I had to tell them. I'm not telling anybody else at work but I'm sure they will find out somehow, you know how that goes... :)

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One of my bigger problems is telling my 76 sick (mental) mother the date of the surgery but i dont want hervin the clinic with me or at home during the first days. She is a mean person. But the rest of my family knows (not the date). I really dont mind much if she gets angry withe because she allways is. Yet it makes me feel kind of guilty not telling her since she live 5 min from my home. Guess i will tell her after the surgery and desl with her anger later.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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