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Is it right for my 18 year old daughter?



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My sweet, smart, confident daughter has been big her whole life, and as she has gotten older it has become even more of an issue. We have tried everything and are now seriously considering the sleeve. She needs to lose 50 - 100 lbs. But the problem is, she heads off to college in four months.

Do you think post-sleeve life is something someone can handle while a freshman in college? Right now, we are leaning towards waiting a year so she can get her sea legs...

Thoughts? Thanks!

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Do it, don't wait. It will be a hard year for her. I wish I would have done it when I was 18. I have an 11 year old that is a little heavy, if in a few years she is heavier I won't hesitate to give her this gift.

Good job mom for asking and researching this!!

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If she is an organized and committed sort who will make sure she gets her Protein in and takes her Vitamins, then it could work well for her.. If she has a meal plan, that's great, there will be plenty of food appropriate food for her to choose from. Honestly if she's ready psychologically for the surgery then I see no reason to wait another year. She'll be changing her routine as she enters college anyway, so why not just get a new fresh start and not start any new bad food habits like so many do when they start college.... she's already heavy.. does she REALLY need the freshman 15 added to it? (or in my case the freshmen 50!)

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I'd say it's firstly up to the doctor. But also, I tend to agree with your idea...to maybe wait until after the end of freshman year. Preparing for, and adjusting to college life is a task in itself and it might be overwhelming to couple that with a complete overhaul of eating/exercise/lifestyle, etc. But don't get me wrong, the sleeve is the best thing I've done for myself and my health! Good luck with whatever you both decide! :)

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Wow that's a loaded question.. I think physically she can handle college life after the sleeve..

The real question is the emotional part..

This is not an easy emotional journey, is she prepared to live a slightly different lifestyle than some of her peers? You know like eating drinking in social situations. Sometimes I see younger people wanting to go out and "party" it might not be possible with the sleeve (not necessarily a bad thing).

How bad does she want it? And is she willing to make small sacrifices for it?

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I agree with Laura...physically YES, it would be great! Emotionally....only you guys can answer that question!

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Are there any medical reasons not to get it done before 18? There are a lot of products and services out there that require 18 years or older. Some freshmen in college are 16, 17 18, etc.

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Great point, Laura-ven. My sorority house days would have been seriously slighted and there was no way I was mature enough to say no to things I should have (like alcohol).

From a 41 year old POV, I say yes, from my 18 year old self, hell no.

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Are there any medical reasons not to get it done before 18? There are a lot of products and services out there that require 18 years or older. Some freshmen in college are 16, 17 18, etc.

True! I started college at 17 with an awesome fake ID.

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Depending on your insurance coverage [which I assume she is a beneficiary on] she may have to go through a couple months of a physician supervised nutrition and exercise program, which may eat up a chunk of those 4 months. For healing time it can take 2-3 weeks. But as others have said it's a physical and emotional journey.

See, I was fat in college [and I HATED IT]. Actually, I became huge in college. There are so many opportunities to eat all day long - it's a big part of the social atmosphere. Your daughter will need support to stick to her post-surgery diet, but it's not impossible to eat properly and still make friends [which she should be doing sleeve or no sleeve - 100 lbs overweight is morbidly obese and puts her at risk for major health problems, as I'm sure you are aware]. She will need to understand she cannot eat or drink what everyone else does. Alcohol especially needs to be restricted because after the sleeve a lot of people become intoxicated quickly. You don't want her to get into situations she can't control because of drinking - there are a lot of predators on college campuses.

I may not have done well on the dating scene in college, though I had a few boyfriends, but I still had lots of great friends and I really wouldn't change my experiences. I grew a lot as a person because I learned a lot and experienced so many new and interesting things. It's a choice she needs to make as an informed young adult. Best of luck to you and your daughter!

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I am in the same boat as your daughter. I decided to get sleeved when I was 18 and still in high school. With help and support from my parents, I decided it was best for me to take a year off to adjust to life after high school before going into college. At first, I regretted my decision just because I didn't realize the drastic changes in my lifestyle that had to be made. Now, at over 2 months post-op, I can honestly say I couldn't be happier. So many doors have opened for me and I'm happy with my decision to be sleeved; however, I knew I would not have been able to handle the stress of moving away to college whilst awaiting approval and a surgery date. I live in NJ and it took about 8 months to get approved for surgery. So, if your daughter is level-headed and didn't have any issues with school work, then she should be fine. But, be sure she understands the emotional rollercoaster that is to come. For me, it was like a really bad break-up. I felt loss and sorrow and I definitely would not have been able to handle classes and not being with my family. But ultimately, it's her decision.

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I was 18 when u got the lapband, (worst invention ever) I am now 21, & got my lapband out today-- switching to the gastric sleeve in July... It is a great choice for her.... I wish I would have went with the sleeve as my first choice! Good luck!

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As long as she is committed to the lifestyle change and not being able to eat the same foods and drink the same drinks as her peers, go for it! She has to be ready though.

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Don't wait! I am currently in college and I wish I would have considered getting this straight out of high school. It is now my 3rd year almost 4th year in college and will be sleeved in a couple of weeks. I completely understand about fitting in being in a sorority I am ALWAYS aware of my surroundings. But it's more than that I feel like I have been overweight my whole life and Im deciding my 20's will be great and healthy not miserable and filled with low self-esteem.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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