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Ideas for what to tell people?



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On that note I will ask the administrator here to step in and end this mess.

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Eating Smaller Amounts, Watching my Carbs, and Exercising, and IT is ALL true!!! Keep it simple.

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I think everyone Needs to go eat a cookie, and take a deep breath!

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I was honest..I did this for me and my family..it's a positive choice..so why lie? You did nothing wrong..I am off insulin after there weeks.that's good and lost 25 in there weeks..sounds like something to be proud of to me

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*••• runs in drops this off•••*

post-278764-13813139482933_thumb.jpg

*•••runs back out saying "I'll be right back I forgot the stick•••*

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Oops. I like this :-)

What does it matter?

You dont know me, my situation, my family, friends,et...

I dont know yours.

Do what makes you feel comfortable. If thats not telling, it doesnt hurt me.

Me. I tell everybody if they ask. That way I dont have to remember who I told before.

Age sucks you know :-)

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What if you always worked out and ate healthy and didnt lose weight? What do you tell people then?

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It is possible to be honest or to maintain integrity without being cruel or heartless. I would rather say nothing than lie' date=' even if it is a lie that others would consider little or white.[/quote']

I know I'm late but you say you would rather say nothing than lie. So lets look at things seperately. People may share their new eating habits and their new exercising habits but they choose to say nothing about their surgery. Doesnt that fit under what you are saying? Lying would be saying "I'm taking a new medication" or "I am trying this new health drink" instead they choose to say nothing instead of lie.

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What if you always worked out and ate healthy and didnt lose weight? What do you tell people then?

I just tell them diet and exercise. Since my husband is in the military people come and go, so I'm always meeting new people and they don't really KNOW me or my weight struggles over the years. I guess I'm fortunate in that aspect. My long term friends know about my surgery but random people who I see now and then, I just say diet and exercise and they leave it alone. They've never pressed harder for an explanation and I usually change the subject to something else. I did meet a mom at my daughters cheer practice who mentioned that she had RNY a couple of years ago. I waited until everyone left and then I mentioned to her that I had sleeve surgery and we talked for a while about it. The other moms still don't know that I've had surgery and I plan to keep it that way. I guess it's on a "need to know basis".

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I know I'm late but you say you would rather say nothing than lie. So lets look at things seperately. People may share their new eating habits and their new exercising habits but they choose to say nothing about their surgery. Doesnt that fit under what you are saying? Lying would be saying "I'm taking a new medication" or "I am trying this new health drink" instead they choose to say nothing instead of lie.

If you read all the posts you will see myself and others referring to this as being dishonest, the deliberate omission of the surgery in responding about diet and exercise is misleading and it is the misleading that is the point of contention. The act of omission, when deliberate and calculated, is as dishonest as the act of commission. This is proven in law again and again, it is why when people take oath as witnesses they are required to tell "the whole truth" rather than just the truth.

To use an old saying, 'It is like throwing yourself on the mercy of the Court because you are an orphan, when the crime you are accused of is parenticide'.

And yet this is justified by those who lie by omission, as you can see, along with attacks on those of us who value the principle of honesty over self interest. Which is what it boils down to, those who value the principles of honesty and integrity as priority over those who define their self interest as their priority. I know who I prefer to be around in my life, my social circle, my work and my community so when asked my opinion, I will always encourage the choice of integrity over self interest.

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Yes, but you are being a hypocrit because you said youd rather not say anything at all which is what people are saying

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Yes' date=' but you are being a hypocrit because you said youd rather not say anything at all which is what people are saying[/quote']

I am not being a hypocrite at all. I tell anyone who asks about my WLS and even tell some people who don't ask. I am not one to chose not saying anything over saying something, as surely my contributions to this discussion indicate.

Where I said I would rather say nothing was if the choice was to lie or say nothing because the truth would be harmful then I would say nothing. I do not wish to harm others unnecessarily.

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So they are liars and you are a hypocrit...and we can agree to disagree. AND just because you believe omission is lying doesn't mean everyone thinks that and until you get your phD in honesty, I cannot side with you

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I am not being a hypocrite at all. I tell anyone who asks about my WLS and even tell some people who don't ask. I am not one to chose not saying anything over saying something' date=' as surely my contributions to this discussion indicate.

Where I said I would rather say nothing was if the choice was to lie or say nothing because the truth would be harmful then I would say nothing. I do not wish to harm others unnecessarily.[/quote']

But they are saying nothing..they are saying nothing about their surgery

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Louise-I find it odd that you would judge the "integrity" of a person based on one thing. This makes me extremely happy that I surround myself with open minded people who can see that everyone isn't perfect and that they aren't entitled to know everything about me and my personal life.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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