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Your MIL plays golf at 87? She's going to live forever.

LOL....no, my husband plays golf 4 or 5 days a week. His mother walks two miles every day, though. And unfortunately, DH isn't much help when it comes to his mom. I do all the cooking, the laundry, etc. I get to take her to the doctor, the dentist, the grocery store, the pharmacy, etc. I get to mend all the clothes that she won't throw out when they become threadbare, in spite of the fact that she has a closet bursting with clothes she's never worn. And because she is hearing impaired but won't wear her hearing aids, she can't carry on a conversation with the doctor, so I get to stay in the exam room thru her pelvic, her anal check, and her breast exam. I know my MIL much better than most people know theirs....LOL

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10 years after death ended my caregiver duites and I still feel that it was "The Best of Times and The Worst of Times". I treasure some of the worst moments. Let me share one with you.

I was tired, exhuasted both mind and body. I have cared fo my dad for years, the last 3 years have seen his abilty to care for himself fade. I was now to the point that the care was 24/7. I was determinded to grant his wish not to be "put away". It was late one night and I checked on him. He had soiled himself again. I was temped to let him sleep, but it was a mess. I knew that he did not have any control over this. He was completely bed ridden, on a feeding tube and not very alive.

I started to clean him up and change the bedding and he became alert. He was unable to talk so I was talking to him, not to myself only as he was able to respond a little. I am sure that he could tell how tired I was. I recall telling him what a mess he was. I ask him did he understand? I got a little nod of the head. This made me feel ashamed that I had ask the question. He was complely unable to control this.

I contuniued to do my job in silence for a few minutes then I had to ask him. "did you ever do this for me or was it always mom?"

I was ready to quit, all my remaining energy was gone. His answer was a grin and nod of the head to say yes. It was like a light came on. I had renewed energy, I cared for him to the end.

It has always been one of the best moments we had togather. Just a grin and little nod...

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10 years after death ended my caregiver duites and I still feel that it was "The Best of Times and The Worst of Times". I treasure some of the worst moments. ...

What a touching story! I feel the same way. I miss my mom, but she just wasn't much fun to be around those last few years.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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